What are your views on spanking children as a form of discipline?

Question

Provided that it's within sensible boundaries, of course (no bruises, cuts, etc).

Answer 1

Spanking and Hitting are NOT the same thing. Hitting leaves bruises. Spankings leave a lasting impression. ... Misbehaving will have consequenses. Spanking does NOT teach a child to HIT. It teaches a child that they are not allowed to misbehave. Take a look at nature... Mammels will bite their young when they are misbehaving. That is their form of "spanking" or punishment. Spanking is a perfectly acceptable form of punishment as long as the parent is staying in control. I was spanked as a child and it never hurt me. My misbehavour was always explained along with the spanking, then I was told that they love me and punishment was the way to help me learn to behave and to learn that there are consequenses for our behavour. (Always tell your child you love them soon after any punishment.) It did send me the message that I had better not misbehave that way again. It was always in control...3 swats on the rump. hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to leave welts, and never in anger. If the parent is angry, they need to go out of the room and take a breather, think it over, and then decide whether to spank, or if another punishment is appropriate. Punishment should only be given for Willful Defiance. Never for an accident, like spilling the milk etc. I know so many people whose children are completely defiant and unruly because there is no punishment for anything they do. There is a lot of yelling and threats and "wait till your father gets home", but no actual consequenses. These are the children that will someday have control of our world. People who know no consequenses for their behavour. That is really scary. I also know parents who spank their children. The children are respectful, sweet, and well behaved. If you want to talk Bible, then read the passage where it tells us not to withold the "rod of discipline". It says nothing about the "word" of discipline. 100 years ago and more, I feel that they were a little overkill on punisment, but I will tell you one thing...the children knew better than to misbehave! I dont agree with beatings and cutting a stick from a tree to be hit with like they did back then, but with moderation, spankings AND groundings or "time-out" are all good forms of punishment. And much better than the punishments they will suffer as the defiant, unruly, hateful, disrespctful adults they will become if they are allowed to do whatever they want as a child. Children look to us for guidance, and they do not want to be left to their own misbehavour. They want and need correction in order to feel secure. I am so glad that my parents loved me enough to spank me when I needed it.

Answer 2

I think that the most important aspect of discipline is communication no matter what form of discipline is used. Within sensible boundaries as you have stated spanking can be used effectively. It is essential that the parent has good communcation with the child. This means that the parent needs to be completely in control of his/her emotions before, during and after the spanking. The child should know why he/she is being spanked and that it has nothing to do with the parent's emotions and it is entirely a consequence of the actions of the child. It must be objective. If the parent cannot communicate effectively and control his/her emotions at that moment then he/she should send the child to his/her room and be up when he or she is in control of him/herself. If it is the sort of parent that is never in control of his/her emotions then spanking is a very bad form of discipline to use.

Answer 3

I don't think spanking is abuse. I was spanked as a child, never abused. I know I deserved it every time!!!!! lol....

I think spanking is ok as long as you don't hit the face and you don't use a whip or something. I think hitting on the face (even just a smack) is disrespectful to the child no matter how old they are.

I think the main issues with kids today is the lack of boundaries and discipline. Somehow I don't think that "time outs" can really convey punishment for bad behavior the same way a good smack on their behind does!!!

Answer 4

Different forms of discipline work for different children. I know with my daughter I just need to take away a special toy for the day and she's on her way to not doing that thing again. My SIL has trouble with older niece and the only thing she found would work was a spanking - just a little hand to butt spank. She found that it was more the embarrassment of getting the spank that worked than the spank itself. I'm sure other parents have other tricks that worked for their kids but nothing works across the board.

Answer 5

Do not wait to decide on a discipline form unil your child is 2 years old! By then they understand basic rules and consequences. If you have not set it up, they get accustommed to their own reign of situations. Then the terrible 2s are upon you and its your fault for not teaching the rules and the consequences from the get-go. So getting upset and blaming your child's ill behavior on "the terrible 2's" is unfair and a sign of weakness in your parenting skills/knowledge.

So you have a newborn...keep it happy and loving. No discipline necessary before the age of 9 months, in my opinion.
Well with children smaller than 2 years of age (but older than 9 months) I think it is ok to do lite swats on the hand to prevent injury, and on the bottom (diapers a good shield) to establish a bit of authority. It is more their feelings being hurt than their physical body-shock is the look on their face. Hide your smile when giving consequences (mixed messages).

After 2, I feel a parent needs to evaluate what works best with their child's personality. How do you say not to hit another person to your child, if you hit them when they have done something inappropriate? You become a hypocrit.

Use the threatening to spank sparingly and spank only when truly necessary. Time out works for some kids. Taking away privileges works for others.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS follow up with positive reinforcement. The positive works better than the negative!

Answer 6

I dont really think its wise to spank children, since it shatters their self-confidence, they should be disciplined by teaching them what is right or wrong, by being their role models, by teaching them while playing with them,telling them what good things it would bring in them if they do it the way it has to be done instead of telling them about the bad things. but i do agree sometimes things get out of control for which children need to be spanked, but that should not hurt them. its actually spanking and hitting which make children more spoiled and stubborn, and it also has its bad effects later in life, as childhood is a very sensitive age, so parents should learn the art to handle the children. discipline can be prevailed by other means, not by spanking

Answer 7

Spanking should be used as an absolute last resort and only in extremely important situations. For example: A child who repeatedly runs into the street even after being warned of the danger is in need of a good butt whipping. It is important not to hurt your child physically or mentally. Don't become a bully to your own child.

Answer 8

It's a perfectly fine form of punishment, but it should not be the only discipline in use. Things like time-out, privilages taken away and grounding are also good, too. There is a time and place for it all, and a good parent knows when to use what.

Answer 9

not big on the spanking thing, but a smack on the butt for running in the street is warranted. Also a tap on the mouth for being fresh tends to work too. I am a mother of two and I have done both only in extreme circumstances. Worked both times.

Answer 10

Spanking a child with a belt or with your hand in reasonable as long as you don't go crazy with it. It's a fair discipline system that gets the point across to the kid that they shouldn't do whatever wrong thing that they did again.