How do I get my adult kids to realize it's time for them to move out and stop using me?

Question

I have a 21 yr old daughter and a 24 yr old son,that are truly using me,I charge them rent just a little but I need help and ideas to get them on their own.

Answer 1

No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. Have them sign a contract that increases what they pay each year for rent and all the services you perform. Food, maid, cooking, laundry, etc. Each has its own cost. They can avoid paying the cost by doing it themselves, and paying the costs of doing it (soap, electricity, etc.). Don't forget dishwashing and picking up clothes off the floor, taking clothes out of the dryer, etc.

At some point they will realize it will be cheaper to move out, or they will become so helpful around the house, you won't want them to leave. Be sure to have a clause that says if they violate the agreement, you can evict them. Then do it.

Answer 2

Well I would charge them more than rent if your ok with them being there...but if you really want them out there are several ways I have seen others do it. One is give them a notice of when to be out. A legal document since they are paying rent. Of course you should have made them sign a legal contract for paying rent. The other is move yourself to another place...sell the house and make them find their own place. I have seen this all done nicely and harshly. It depends on how the kids react really. Don't be affraid of tough love. You may not get the affection and approval your looking for from them for awhile, but they will respect you. They will come around. Heck you can help them find places of their own too. They can only use you if you continue to let them. Take charge, be firm, find support, follow thru.

Answer 3

They can go out together and get a place to live - split expenses.
Set a deadline, say 60 days. Charge minimal rent til then so they can save to get out.
Tell them that if their stuff isn't out in 60 days you will have Purple Heart or another agency pick up their stuff and it's going to be gone.
Tough love, but I think you have to do something and make it clear that you are NOT KIDDING!!!!
Let the two of them start to solve their own problems working out the living arrangements. (this gets you out of the middle of it).
Later, then can learn to be more self-sufficient as they negotiate their new living arrangement together.
I was out of the house for good at the age of 20.

Answer 4

well you need to tell them they have X amount of time to find thier own place - 3 months should be good for them to save up for rent deposit and turning on power and phone and stuff - tell them if they were in your house after the move out time - then your going to raise the rent and charge them for all services rendered - full market rent on thier 1 bedroom - 1/3 of all utilities - 1/3 of food - oh and $60 per week for maid service - dont forget to charge for delivery services if you do the food shopping - and taxi service fees if your driving them around - they will quickly realize it is cheaper to be on thier own - and they will have more freedom

oh and don't forget if you cook them dinner - write them out a bill and deliver it with thier meal - they will get the hint - and they will quickly want to move out :D

Answer 5

You have to put your plan to action. Say something to them and have a plan so that they know you mean business. For instance, say, "you have 3 months to move out. If you don't, I will......" and give a consequence. Start charging a lot more in rent and utilities. Don't do anything for them. Have them make their own meals, do their own laundry. Plus give them more chores around your house.

Good luck!

Answer 6

give them no privacy take the doors off their rooms and make them get up at five in the morning. change the locks on the door. and tell them that their curfew is 11 o clock. then lock the door at eleven. tell them your becoming a vegetarian, then replace all the food in the house with tofu. and charge them with rent equal to what they would pay if they were on their own.

Answer 7

My son fairly stopped coming in my room thoroughly (interior the night) as quickly as he hit puberty (12). He probable did this 2x or extra a week. i attempted to end him whilst he became youthful besides the undeniable fact that it upset him so undesirable that i eventually found out it basically wasn't that huge of a deal. i'm single however. He did it much less and much less as he have been given older. Now, at almost 15, he might never pass slowly in my mattress at night. If i ought to pass back, i might have not tried to end him from coming in my room. i think of it basically prolonged it. it is not that huge of a deal. basically make optimistic if there is any "very own enterprise" occurring, which you lock the door. additionally, i think of the lads might try this to experience nearer to you. little ones have their motives for issues and if it makes them experience preserve, i think of it is okay for a rapid time. they are nonetheless small.

Answer 8

Then it's time for TOUGH LOVE! give them a date that they must be out and into their own apartment ,MM they can even share a place together ( just an idea).. until YOU buckle down they will continue to use you.
assure them that you will try to help them along the way but instill that they must go, give them notice like landlords do that no longer wishes to rent to a tenant.
DO IT its for their own good.

Answer 9

Set a firm date by which they must be out- Be resonable and give them enough time to save up for a security deposit, find a place etc. But let them know you are serious-
In the meantime if you provide any services for them in your name (phone lines, internet service, cable access) shut them down- And don't you dare do their laundry, cook for them or clean their rooms! Good luck!:)

Answer 10

continue to charge them rent. also, give the responibility of paying a bill. give one of them the electric bill and the other the water bill. if you live in a apt. where water is paid for, then have on of them purchase the hygine/laundry items, bath soap/gel, laundry soap, fabric softner, toothpaste, etc. they may not like it because they have to still follow your rules. they may think the grass is greener and move out on their own. if they don't, they'll be showing more resposibility by helping you out more and you won't feel overwhelmed.