Is being in love really important in a relationship. we have sex and all that but I'm not making love to her and I really don't want to. To me it's just sex. I think she loves me because she tells me regularly. I hane been divorced for a year now and I know that I'm still in love with the ex. Who was very immature and 11 years my younger. But I think of her all the time and I think about her one nightstand that destroyed what I thought we had. If I never fall in love again, Should I settle for second best????
2006-07-30 07:02:43 · 15 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do what you want as long as your honest with the person that you are with.
2006-07-30 07:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle for second best because you will fall in love again. You need to be upfront and honest with your partner no matter how much it hurts them. Being divorced for only a year is not long enough to really know what you want out of a new relationship but, being with somebody just to be with them hurts both people because its not honest. There are way more fish in the sea, just dont make the same mistake buy catching a rotten one.
2006-07-30 14:14:16 · answer #2 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that I have learned recently, having been in a relationship where I couldn't let myself be loved because I had been in love with someone else when we met (and I got together for what seems like the same reason you may have,) IS that you can't have a real relationship with someone IF you are still in love with someone else (no matter how much they hurt you). You have to be emotionally available to make it work. If your new girlfriend thought you might never love her would she still want to be with you?? Don't you both deserve to be loved? Listen, I lost the love of my life because I wondered "what if" about the man from before. I MISS him terribly. He was my best friend. We spent 2.5 years together. I hope you can heal and put this pain behind you - OR try again. I have tried to talk to my ex about us rekindling our realtionship but....Now it is he that must heal. Make sure that the decision is really what you want. Of course any relationship can work with enough effort but you'll only get out what you put in. And never settle. Im terrified saying that...but I believe it.
2006-07-30 14:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by Nomes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not settle for second best if you know who 'first best' is.
If you really love your ex-wife and she loves you and wants to be with you as well, you will have to find a way to forgive what she did and get back together.
You may never forget what she's done, but you can understand human weaknesses and errors and know that any of us is subject to it.
I will give anything to be with the man I love again. It is better to live with love than to live with pretense. Love feels so much better -doesn't it?
2006-07-30 14:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be nuts to have a woman you do NOT love move in with you when you are still in love with your EX.
You need to live alone for a while until you know the difference between sex, love, and a committed relationship.
2006-07-30 14:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Diane D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it will take lots of time for you to move on.Settling isnt fair to the second party...dont you think? You n eed to let that girl know now that you dont have the same feelings.She may stay, or she may decide she cant settle for being second best and leave.Either way you are being honest and thats the first step.
2006-07-30 14:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are living with someone and sharing a bed, sexually, you SHOULD be in love with that person and willing to commit to her. I once made the mistake of marrying a man who was in love with his ex-gf; our marriage ended in divorce. He was always courteous and never 'compared' me to her, but his feelings for her were quite obvious. I would save yourself AND your current partner a future heartache and move out ASAP. Be on your own for a while, get in touch with who YOU are, play the field a bit and definitely confront the feelings you have for your ex.
2006-07-30 14:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by geniec67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should settle for what you call "second best." It won't really be second best since all you guys did was have sex. From what you said, you were just boyfriend and girlfriend to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I think that you should just drop her and find someone else that you will love.
I hope that I helpled.
2006-07-30 14:09:16 · answer #8 · answered by rawrawree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your live in. Why don't you let her go and do some healing. Then there is a chance for love again. Love is important.
2006-07-30 14:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by lolababy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help, fast. Do your gf a favour and walk out of her life. You're living in the past. You're obviously over the hill so let this one go and wallow in your past without dragging your gf with you, because that's what you're doing now.
2006-07-30 14:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try to confront your ex. Tell her how you feel, and just let it all go from there.
2006-07-30 14:07:46 · answer #11 · answered by herpeche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋