I am in need of advice. My sister is pregnant with her second child. She has asked me to watch her first child until the baby is born so that she can continue to work. She is very funny about leaving her with a sitter. I agreed to help, even though I recently started a business that is very successful. I am putting it on hold to help her. My husband says that I need to babysit here at my home (I have two chidlren as well) and this has made her mad. She would rather me get my two kids up and ready every day to take over to her house at 7:00am. Now, she won't let me take her daughter anywhere during the day. I was going to take all of the kids swimming tommorow, and she says it would be too much. I feel like the rest of my summer is going to be ruined because I can't take my kids anywhere to have fun. Am I being selfish? She said that she would continue to look for a sitter, but when I mentioned it she got upset and said that she just has no one else. Advice? Suggestions?
2006-07-30 06:18:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her if she won't go along with the program, she can find a babysitter to watch the kid. You are being nice enough.
2006-07-30 06:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relatives can be really selfish at times. Your sister is not thinking of you at all isn't it? It is true that you should help one another when in need, but when a person is in need, she cannot be calling the shots. There appears to be no compromise from your sister's side as can be inferred from what you write. You need to talk to your sister in a calm face to face manner and tell her that if she wants you to look after her kid, then there are some things she aught to do herself first, like drop the kid off at your place every morning on her way to work. You also have to tell her that in order to avoid disrupting your life and that of your own family, and upsetting your husband, she should not lay down conditions on how you should look after the child while she goes out earning her bread. She is not the first mother who is carrying her second child! You did it too when you had your second. You are not at all being selfish and if you do not give your kids and husband the attention that you should be giving, because of your sister's whims, then you will be the loser on both sides. I say both sides because, not only will your family be unhappy with you, but your sister, who may be temporarily pleased with your following her call, will ultimately be dissatisfied with something else you do. Then you will regret having been nice to her at the cost of your family's happiness. I know you do not want to hurt your sister, but your family comes first and difficult as it may sound now, my advice to you is to tell your sister to make her own arrangements right away. Sorry for sounding so tough, but be sure that is the best for you, your own kids and your husband. Good luck!
2006-07-30 06:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by someone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sister sounds like she has a long history of telling you what she wants and your letting her.
You are doing her a favor. Let's repeat that...
You are doing her a favor. It is easier for her to bring her child to you. You are her sister and a mother too. It shouldn't be a problem for you to take her child with when you take yours somewhere. She's either neurotic or controlling.
Grow a spine if you want things to change. Allowing someone to manipulate you and control you is unacceptable unless you have something wrong with you that you enjoy that sort of thing.
I would tell her you will be happy to sit her child on your terms then tell her just what you've said here. If that's unacceptable, too bad. Just because someone is related doesn't give them the right to use and abuse you.
2006-07-30 06:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean she's throwing an emotionally controlling temper tantrum because you might not do what she wants you to do? Sister or not, this person is using you and you have no one to blame but yourself. If you're not happy with how things are, then YOU change it. Stop allowing her to manipulate you. Geeze! Tell her how you're going to handle your day with your kids and if she doesn't like it to make other arrangements. This will still give her an option of saying yes or no. But, be firm, girlfriend! Solicit the help of your husband if you have to, but only you can take back control of your own time.
2006-07-30 06:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is being very selfish & unreasonable. If she wants you to watch her child, then she should be the one bringing her to you. You are doing her a favor. If you want to take your children places this summer, take them. If she does not like that, then she better get her A-ss in gear and get a babysitter who will do only what she wants OR become a stay at home mom because she is never going to be happy.
2006-07-30 06:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by tg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to get tons of advice but you need to ask yourself this.Are my children the most important thing in my life?.If the answer is yes then you need to tell your sister that if she wants you to take her child then she needs to go by your rules.After all you are doing her the favor, You are not being selfish just because you want the best for your children. Plus thats her child and her responsiblity.Not yours. Good luck
2006-07-30 06:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are being selfish in the least. She has to undeerstand that you have a life, too and that you can't just put everything on hold for her. It's not healthy for kids to be stuck inside all day every day anyway. Is she paying you?
2006-07-30 06:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm you need to tell her that you have kids and a summer too.. if she wants you to sit for her.. she is going to have to get over it!!! I know you will want to be nice about it but you might just have to put your foot down and tell her.. hey I have to get some things done and I can't be tied down at home so you are going to have to let me take the baby with me or find someone else....
2006-07-30 06:23:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's the one who is selfish. You have a family and business and are going out of your way to help her. She should be the one who takes her child to your house so you can take care of all of your responsibilities.
2006-07-30 06:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Alej 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being USED! If your sister wants you to watch her child, and you are willing to do it, she should let you watch it on your terms. You didn't mention whether you were being paid for this service, but if not,all the more reason to babysit on your terms,not hers. If she can't live with that, you are under no obligation.
2006-07-30 06:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋