He assaulted her as a juvunail and then again (now he is in the adult system. She kicked him out for three weeks and he was doing nothing but drinking and sleeping at his friends house. They no longer wanted him there so he came crying back saying he would behave but its F--- this and F---- that and you can't tell me what to do.
2006-07-30 05:55:42 · 28 answers · asked by concerned-aunt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He should grow up and be on his own if can't respect the rules of the house he lives in.
2006-07-30 05:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that he is 18 I don't see why anyone is obligated other than maternal feelings towards him in any legal way. Tough love may be in order as is he is violent and it sounds like there is a pattern then the violence could escalate with tragic results. He is attempting to manipulate who he is crying to and they have to decide either to insist he get help i.e., counseling and live to a rigid set of rules or he will be out of his own. He has to understand there are consequences to his actions and he has to take responsibility for his actions or he will just repeat what is is currently doing over and over. Enabling him and allowing him to come back home while he continues his behaviors isn't doing him any favors and will only hurt him in the end as he doesn't have to face the consequences and grow up.
2006-07-30 06:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay down some house rules, make a list up in contract form and make him understand that it's your way or the highway, If you think he may resort to violence have a male friend give him a talking to and if that doesn't work put him out even if you must involve the law I would think he's had problems, we all do, in the eyes of society he's an adult if he won't act like it YOU are not responsible. good luck I hope this works out for the better
2006-07-30 06:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't be let back in 'cause he's crying. If that continues to happen every time he gets kicked out he'll use it as an excuse to get back into the house. He shouldn't be let back in until he can prove "her" (his mother?) that he's a responsible adult and doesnt fall back into his old habits--and if he shows he's responsible and later on screws up again, kick him out again. It's tough love or "she's" gonna be used by him all the time.
2006-07-30 06:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by seek the cure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key word here is "assault". The first priority of your sister to to protect herself and the rest of her family from this obviously unbalanced young person.
18 years old is old enough to get a job and make your way in the world. From what I'm hearing, if they gave him enough money to set up a place to live, he would spend it on drink and be right back in the same situation.
I know that in her heart, this will always be her little baby, but he is a danger to her and everyone in the household. If he agrees to enroll in therapy and follow a very strict set of guidelines, it might be up for discussion, but I'm afraid I don't see this happening.
Your sister does need to receive counseling to help her get through this ordeal.
God bless.
2006-07-30 06:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By allowing him back in she is enabling his current behavior. Have her call the police if he shows up and she should not let him back in. He is going to see no one is going to put up with his poo poo. Look the friends had enough after a few days. I know it is hard for her to watch her son in this situation but she probably was not strict enough when he was growing up and now she is having to deal with it in a rough way. Let him learn the hard way. I am not sure what your relation is with the mother but she is going to need someone to lean on for support. I am sure you will be there for her. Good luck!
2006-07-30 06:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good asskicking would probably save his life, but in lieu of that, just kick his sorry *** out. There's not much growing up a person like that can do at home.
2006-07-30 06:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by 7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He deserves a good smacking! Kick his *** out the door. Man, they should never have gotten rid of National Service. Too many punks around these days.
2006-07-30 06:00:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 18 and he's lucky they didn't have him arrested. He's made his bed, he needs to sleep in it. He'll eventually wear out his welcome at his friends house too and then he'll either wisen up when he's on the streets and pull himself u by the bootstraps or he'll end up another statistic. He's an adult and needs to be treated as such... the hard way!
2006-07-30 06:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out. Kick him out. Change the lock, make him throw away the key. Kid hasn't hit rock bottom yet and no one deserves to be abused in their own home, not even that kid, so out!
However, did you prepare this kid to be independent? Consider enrolling him in Job Corps or the military.
2006-07-30 06:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by xamayca.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋