Should I have another baby?

Question

I have a 14 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. Me and my husband want to have another baby, but our daughter (would be 15 by birth of baby) is going crazy at that thought! She said shes almost ready to have kids and doesnt want to havemore siblings...what should we do? Have the baby or not?

Answer 1

That is up to you and your husband, not your daughter. She is being a typical, egocentric teen (I have three of them myself!). I would sit down with my husband, go through the financial obligations a newborn would entail, lifestyle changes, your ages, etc., before I made the final decision.

Answer 2

Have you though of what your life was like when you had babies around the house, maybe the two of you are just missing the little things that having a baby around brings.
Just think if you wait a little longer and don't have another baby then you may get to enjoy the joys of grandparneting. Your kids aren't that far off from that.

It is really up to the two of you if you want to add to the family that is already in your house. But now it will effect more than just the two of you. How is the money situation for your current daughter and son so when they are ready to go to college, or a prom dress.
What quiet time you now get to do things you enjoy, sleeping in, getting up and going to say a carnival, a movie, all the things that you are limited to do when you have a baby, all the doctor visits, shots, screaming nites, teething, and so on.
I have a three year old and a six month old, and I don't plan on having any more kids...I enjoy the time and each new thing my kids go threw now and as they get older...I find it slightly harder for each kid to get there share of attention, I honestly don't know if I could do it if I had more kids. When my oldest is around your oldest age, I would like to be able to go to his practice games, and go do other things you are limited to do when their is a baby around.
Have you thought of having a family meeting and discussing the situation and the ups and downs and maybe go from there. Every family is different.
good luck.

Answer 3

My oldest son is 13, and wasn't upset at all when he heard the news of the twins coming. He's actually very excited about it. He's helped me so much, even helps play with his 4 yr old brother in the morning so I can sleep in a little bit more.

As the 8th of 9 children, my nieces & nephews were born when I was very young. Now that they are having their own children, I immediately thought that they would be upset that their own children would be older than their cousins. I called each of them separately on this.

And I got the same response from all of them - that no one was mad, they all thought it was great. I was a young mom to start off with, and am now at an age when most women have children.

I'm not sure of your age. If you're over the age of 35, you might should do some additional research on the chances of down syndrome. There are also many other chromosomal & other birth defects a child can have from a mother who gets pregnant at a certain age. This is something that you will need to think about - because in its true essence, if you do end up having a downs baby...who will look after that child after you're gone or unable to care for that child if you go into a nursing home.

Answer 4

Things you gotta look into first of all is if you can afford the financial responsibility of another youngen.There's couples out there that enjoy children and there's those whom dont.Sounds like your one of those that does.Having children is a blessing from the lord himself and should never be taken for granted.Another key question you should ask yourself(and your husband) is are you physically and mentally able to go through having another baby?
Have you ever considered adoption?There's plenty of good kids that needs a good home with a family that will love them and care for them the way children should be loved.Although it may not be a blood child,but look at what all prospects of a new beginning you'll be able to give the child.It might not be so bad of an idea with your daughter as well.If your daughter puts up a fuss about it then she's got alot of learning for the life ahead of herself.
If you and your husband truly wants another child, then that decision is entirely up to you and your husband.Just be prepared for what is about to come.Wish you well on your decision and god bless.

Answer 5

It shouldn't be up to your daughter to make the decision for you. My grandma was a senior in HS when her youngest sister was born. My Great-Aunt is only 2 years older than my mom.

I had a friend from high school whose mom had her when she was young, then waited until she was in HS to have more kids- she had 2 more, while my friend had one of her own, and the 3 of them are close in age, and are more like cousins than Aunts & Neices (all girls).

If you feel that emotionally, financhially, and physically, you are ready to have another baby, then you should. Yeah, sure, it's going to embarass your older daughter. But do you really want to live your life according to the wants of a teenager?

It should be something you discuss with her, yes. But ultimatly, it is YOUR decision. If you and your husband want another child, I say go for it. Soon enough there will be a time when you can't have another child.

Answer 6

If you and your husband really want another child, you should go ahead. Your daughter will come to accept the child when she sees how cute the baby is and will come to appreciate the love and care you had for her when she was a baby. The new baby will also delay the empty nest for you for the next one and a half decades. However, do your sums probably on all financial and health matters before you proceed should you decide to do so. Every child is a gift from God and they are all precious.

Answer 7

I have 4 kids, 15, 14, 4, & 2. My older ones weren't thrilled about #3. I think it was because they were alone with just the two of them for so long they couldn't imagine having a baby around. They are all fine, and we're all happy. (A little hectic around here sometimes, but happy) The older two do have the usual "little brother, little sister" pestering going on, but we all just deal with it. Just make sure that you get her involved with the baby, and remind her how they look up to her and love her for being there for them. Hopefully the bond will be there, and no resentment. Explain to her that it's not "her" baby, it's your's and your husbands. Don't ever make her obligated to take care of the baby. Let her offer to "help out" now and then. (simple things) Let her know that she's needed now and then, and not expected to loose out on her own life just because there is s new baby in the house. I never insist that my oldest two "babysit", they do have to keep and eye on them if I'm in the shower, or need to be alone for a little while. If they take them outside to play, I do expect them to take care of them, and make sure that they "babysit" then. This could be the fear of feeling like she's goning to be responsible for the baby all the time. If she has any friends that have children of their own already, she see's what is going on and doesn't want any part of it. (In a way it could be good birth control for her.) My oldest tells me that she's not having any kids until she's in her late 20's or 30's. I thought , good for her!!(good for me) So, try to find all the good points to being a "BIG SISTER", and let it go from there. I don't know how long you were going to wait to start trying for another, but let the subject come up alot, and see how it goes. Good luck, and remember, when you're ready, she just might have to deal with it anyway. (mine were not planned)

Answer 8

I dont think so. Because if u have another baby, it would be weird, bcuz at the current, u already have 14 yr old daughter (that means she is a teenager), and 9 year old son.. how many ages would be apart b/w ur current kids and ur *new* baby..??

Answer 9

You should really do what you want to do. If your daughter is thinking about kids then maybe she will react a little different when the baby comes. She may start acting like a mother to it. She will not disown her own brother or sister. Do what you want to do. She is your daughter, but you have your life to live too.

Answer 10

It is you and you husbands decision. If I wanted another child I would do so. My kids do not run my life. I hope for you the best of luck. Also is this a phase you might be going through? If not then have a baby.

Answer 11

15 and almost ready to have kids? Do you live in Arkansas? It's up to you and your husband really, not your daughter. You guys need to decide if it would be a good time considering what responsibilities you have right now and what not.