A new baby?

Question

My husband and I recently decided that it's time for us to have a baby. He's been married before and has two kids from that marriage ( 13 and 15). His 15 year old daughter went crazy at the mention of us having a baby and threw a massive fit. His ex-wife then called and told him that he and I shouldn't have a child because it's only upsetting his other kids. I'm so mad about this I can't even describe it. How should we deal with this situation?

Answer 1

tell them to fukc off its none of their business if you guys want to have a child, the teenagers are still young they will get over it

Answer 2

Your decision to have a baby is yours, and you shouldn't allow the opinion of others to matter. The other children will be adults soon. They might see the new baby as a channel for their Father's affection that doesn't include them...Perhaps there might be an existing problem already. If the kids were opposed to your being together in the first place that may make them not like the fact that the you are about to cement your marriage with a child. In any case, let them know that they are still loved and they will not be disregarded when their new sibling arrives. Good Luck

Answer 3

Sit down and talk with the kids about their feelings and why they feel that way. Include them in doctors visits and the birth naming the baby as well as taking care of the baby. They may get a bond. I think maybe the 15 year old had a hope of her parents getting back together.Even though you two are married she may feel it was possible you two could get a divorce but a child would tie you two together forever. Or maybe that a baby would take her father's attention/love away. I don't think you shouldn't have a baby and as for the ex-wife she has no business being in your business unless it is about her two kids. Maybe you two shoud aslo speak to the ex-wife with te kids present about saying negative things and how to become a great extended family. No say that you all have to be together at the dinner table on holidays but that stress and tension isn't shown to one other. Being civil to each other and the ex-wife teaching them to love their sibling(s). Go for it good luck

Answer 4

Have hubby tell the ex-wife it's really none of her business anymore.

You and hubby sit down with the step kids and talk to them. Make sure that they understand that a new baby in dad's life WILL NOT EVER replace the two of them. They hold special places in his heart that belong to them alone. At 13 and 15 they should be mature enough to have an open and honest conversation about how the family is changing and growing. (It's up to you and hubby if this is just him talking to them or if you think it would help/hurt for you to be present...I have no idea what you relationship with these two step-kids is like?)

Answer 5

It is the decision of you and your husband. Not the teenagers or the ex wife. You guys have to know what you want. If you want baby and your husband wants a baby then have it. However, your husband do need to sit down and have a talk with the teenage kids. They need to know that he still loves them the same. I am pretty sure that they will think a little sibling is cool once it arrives. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

I think you should go ahead and have a baby. I'm a new mother of twins and theres no greater feeling in the world than holding a little baby in your arms, and knowing you created it. But then again, his daughter is 15. When she going to be graduating high school the baby will only be 2 or 3. So, you need to consider that also! Good luck!

Answer 7

she feels (and is probably right) that once the baby is born daddy and you will love it more - personally I cannot blame her

I dont know if you have kids already or not but the world is plenty populated and certainly doesnt need more people - already there are housing shortages and its only a matter of time before food becomes a real issue (well it already is in some parts of the world people eat cats and dogs becuase there isnt land enough to raise cattle or crops)

so I can understand why you are mad too.. but please understand why she is mad and if you decide to go through with it.. let her know she is loved... she will never beleive you though because all she will see is you both doting on the new baby and hear people say "oh isnt the baby cute" and she will probably hate the baby and babies in general because of it...

Answer 8

I have similiar experiences dealing with the ex. My fiance has 2 children (9 and 10) and their mother thinks that he should only care about his children. She always has to be involved in every decision that we make as a family...even when it has nothing to do with the well being of her children (which is all she should be allowed to have any say in). It is hard for kids to get used to the idea of a new addition to their family, just make sure they understand that having a new baby in the house isn't going to take their father away from them. Don't worry about their mother...it's something you will just have to ignore! I know that can seem impossible!! Anyway, good luck!

Answer 9

Well I can imagine his daughter being so upset. She is 15 after all and that is so hard for her right now with all the added pressure. The thing is that your husband needs to do it spend one on one time with each kid and let them know it will continue after the baby. I am sure she will come around when sheholds her brother or sister for the first time. BUt you will have to realize that they will ahve to have a BIg involvenment with the baby for them to accept him or her. I am not sure how long he has been divorced or the whoel situation. Like did he leave her for you etc...whatever the situation his daugheter is upset and crying for his attention and she proably feels like she isn;t getting wnough know and with him having another baby she never will...This is am IMportnat time in her life where e she NEEDs her dad. If he doesn't want her looking to another "guy" source for attention then he will ahve to do as much with her as possible and if he claims he is busy for one on one and etc..then it is not the right time for him to have another one...

Answer 10

Your husband's children are just jealous that the baby with be with their dad full time and they can't. It also means there is no hope of him getting back with their mom.
Tell the kids you are having this child and if they don't like it, they can take a long walk off a short pier.

Answer 11

Don't care what your husband's kids are thinking of having another brother or sister. Their behaviour is simply childish. They probably feel being ignored when somebody new is coming up.
Look, they're teens and they soon will have other interests then.
Go and have your own baby. You have the right to get one whenever you want - and how many you want. It's your and your husband's deciscion and not your husband's kids from first marriage.

Good luck.