My husband and I will have his three kids (8, 12 and 15) for two weeks. His ex-wife is insisting that we send her a detailed itenerary for the time they will be here...she wants everything on a time schedule, restaurants, museums, parks, what we are having for dinner. I think it's silly....what should we tell her?
2006-07-30 04:04:08 · 11 answers · asked by Charon 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When you have the children, she doesn't have the right to know exactly what you will be doing and when. She can call and talk to them occasionally, but you don't have to give her an itinerary. She is just being difficult and anal. No court would give her the right to do that, so don't worry. If she chooses to keep the kids home with her, then charge her with contempt.
Trust me, I know what's up here. I gone through the same things with my own children.
2006-07-30 04:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Mary J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you do have the option of making something up and sending her a fake itenerary....something along the lines of
Monday - 11:00am,pick-up kids
11:30, pick up crack-ho, drugs and guns
Tuesday- all day, teach kids pole dancing/stripping (it never hurts to have a fall back career)
Wednesday- 10:00am-2:00pm, visit friends at the local prision
Thursday - time could vary due to unexpected circumstances, Bank-Robbery Day! Kids would be great for this! Are they little people or kids? Who knows? Easy get-away!
Friday-Spending Spree,and don't worry mom, we'll get you something pretty too.
Saturday- Who Can Drink Daddy Under The Table Day! My bet is on the 15 year old!
Sunday- Visit a local museum-they need a little culture too, right?
Just let her know that the kids will be safe, fed and cared for. If she has any concerns, she can call the kids and check on them. Who really plans for a full two weeks in advance? Does she inform you and your husband on everything she plans on doing w/ the kids? A rough outline of events would be nice, if you are taking them out of town. Other than that, I would leave things a bit vague. Make sure you have all of their medical info handy, just in case, but go have FUN! Don't let mom ruin it for you.
2006-07-30 04:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by sassysugarchef 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed. I'm not sure if I would give her a detailed itinerary or if I would make up the greatest trip ever and make her wish she was there. Let her know that it is so great to be without her and let it be some of the stuff that she likes to do. On the bottom I would put. schedule may change at any given notice and you will not be informed of these changes since this is the our vacation and we will enjoy it the way we want. I would leave a cell phone number so she can get a hold of them but i wouldn't give hotel numbers since she might call quite a bit and she can keep leaving messages on the cell and you can check the messages to see if the kids need to call her right away or not. Good luck!
2006-07-30 04:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have a planned vacation tell her that you are playing it by ear. And if she wants tell her that when you know what you are doing that the kids could give her a call. Other than that I would tell her that you are just going to hang out and decide what the kids might like to do so everyone will have fun. Also maybe have one of the older ones keep a little journal of what you all doing during the two weeks and then she can read it. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-07-30 04:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by raindrops361969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation. What we have told the birth mother in the past is that since it is a vacation, we don't know exactly what we will be doing every minute of the day. Give her a general idea of what you will be doing (museums, beach, shopping, etc) and say that you really can't give specifics because it will depend upon the weather and what everyone is in the mood for that day. If she still balks, then ask if instead one of the kids can call her after dinner to recap their day. Sounds like she is trying to be overly involved and wants to try to "one-up" you - don't let it bother you (easier said than done) and have a good time on your vacation!
2006-07-30 04:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by lonely_girl3_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a bit nit picky. Does it state anywhere in the custody papers that your husband is required to do this? If not, then don't worry about it. Just to keep things smooth you could offer to have the kids call her every evening. That way she knows the kids are OK and it will let her know that you aren't dismissing her concerns as their mother. I'm a stepmom and my husband has custody of his 2 kids. In his custody papers it states that when the kids are away from the home for more than 48 hrs. that he has to give her a phone number and address of where the kids will be. Read the custody papers and decide from there what you need or want to do.
2006-07-30 08:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a little silly. But she is just making sure the kids will stay safe ( I know you and your hubby would never put them in harms way, but she may not be so sure). I would give her both your cell phone numbers and tell her she can call you both at any time! Tell her your not sure about everyplace you will be goina and you are going to play it by ear somedays.
2006-07-30 04:10:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is very unreasonable of her to do that. I suggest that your husband deal with her on that situation. She needs to realize that one, the children are on vacation so things are a little more relaxed and you may decide things on the spur of the moment. Two, you and your husband do not require and itemized itinerary when the children are with her.
2006-07-30 04:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, they are in your and your husband's care. Does she provide you with a detailed itenerary? I don't think so. Your house, your rules.
2006-07-30 04:09:41 · answer #9 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a little ridiculous. You shouldn't have to plan everything to a pinpoint-it's your vacation-enjoy it. If you let her know where you will be and a way she can reach you maybe she'll relax and step off.
2006-07-30 04:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋