How can I help them to become brave and responsible in life?

Question

I'm a mother of 3 girls.I'm not married and their fathers don't help us any way.The oldest is 10(Adeline),the medium is 5(Jane) and the youngest is 6 months(Melanie).I work all day,so Adeline cares of the other while I'm at work.When Adeline is at school(just a few hours) Jane cares of Melanie.Till now there haven't been any problems.I want the kids to become self-confident and to believe in themselves,so they could manage to cope with real life.That's why I let them to take the decisions of their problems and leave them alone at home,to become responsible.If I didn't do it,how could they learn how to cope with life when they grow up and have their children?Anyway I want to ask you are there any other ways to make them more responsible(they are responsible enough,but I want them to have other chances to train their responsibility and confidence).Adeline cooks,cleans the house,cares of the baby and Jane...she knows lots of things and so she learns Jane to do them.Help me with more ideas

Answer 1

So, ....
First your husbands dead, then,...he just doesnt help in any way.
Then, your kids all have different names than the other questions.
Then, first you have 4 kids, now its 3...
I'm confused. Are you a "spy" for DHS...
I wouldnt doubt it!! You are not a real person with this situation and none of your situations are real....
Geesh!

Answer 2

I think the question should be ''how can I help them have a childhood that they can look back on with good memories?" It seems that for their ages they are already responsible enough. Why not find some after school programmes and day care centre or if that is too expensive, talk to other parents at the school and see if you can group together to find a better alternative to leaving your children unattended.
I am not judging you as I too know how difficult it can be to raise children alone but trust me, life is tough enough and they will learn as they grow to take care of themselves, whats important is letting them be children, its such a short period in our life cycle and one that lays the foundation to a successful adulthood and well housework is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things!

Answer 3

If the other answerers would read your previous 2 questions, they'd see that you have a LOT of children....first 3 in the first question, then 4 in the second, now 3 more, and NO two alike! HMMMMM....sounds to me like you enjoy riling people up where children and their welfare is concerned. THIS question doesn't deserve an answer, as your others don't.....

Let's see if I have this right...in this question there's Adeline, Melanie and Jane, in the first question there's two girls, age 10 and 4, and a boy age 7, in the second question there's Briana, George, Alisa and Michael....honey, you sure popped them out...and you're marital status is listed as such: In the first question you're a widow, in the second it doesn't say, and in this question you're not married. You need to either get off here completely and GET A LIFE, or make sure people understand these are hypothetical questions, NOT real ones!

Although many people are on here, for obvious reasons....seems to me your ONLY reason for being on Yahoo! Answers is to get people upset.....hopefully, those who end up voting for this question do as I did and read ALL 3 questions and get what you're doing like I did.....a bit too late for me though.

Answer 4

I really can't believ you leave a 6 month old with a 5 year old but hey if that doesn't teach resposnibilty then I don't know what would. I hope you haven't put too much responsibilty on them and make them want to rebel at some time. I know I rebeled and I ddin't have half as much to do as those poor girls. What about a childhood?? Do you not want them to have fun memeories? Just grown up memories from birth, that sucks. Kids need the chance to be kids. I hope they have a chance to play and have fun sometimes. Poor girls.

Answer 5

You are teaching them to be responsible by have the oldest take care of the other.

On the other hand you are not teaching them to be responsible by leaving them alone at home. If DHS were to find out about this you might get your kids taken away. Some states do have different laws on leaving kids alone though.

Other responsiblities would be money. That is always an important thing to teach kids.

Answer 6

First of all, are you real? You can't expect that much from a 10 year old. Your children are too young to be left on their own while you are working. For some reason I don't think you really are a parent. If you truly are, then you need to learn the things you want to teach your children first.. simply because you have no idea how to be responsible.

Answer 7

My mother ran a daycare for 15 years, which I helped out with...
I now have two children of my own...and something that I learned from experience is that I want my children to have the time to be children...
Remember your children have a full life ahead of them and they will learn, make mistakes, as they go along.
Personally, I don't think that it is right that the ten year old is taking a mommy role...I can understand giving her some chores to do during the week..But is she getting time to be a ten year old girl. Also a five year old watching and taking care of a six month old.
I know this is not what you intended it to be like for your children,but :This all makes me wonder what is happening to all the adults who decide to become parents and then brush their responsibilities off on their children. We as people give kids a hard time when they have children at a young age...

I don't mean to attack your situation, but Kids learn how to become brave and responsible in life by watching their parents, keeping up with their chores, cleaning the house....The cooking is a good idea so that they know how to care for themselves and others in their family in the future. But taking care of a baby should be left up to the parent who gave birth to that baby....

For example : my three years old helps when it comes to diapers, he brings me a clean one and throws away the dirty one, not because he has to, but because he likes being involved.
He does get tired of his brother and wants his own time, along with time with me...that shows me he is still a kid not a adult...so he doesn't need adult responsibilities.

Did you know that in most states it is illigeal to leave a child home alone under the age of 13 years old.

Also does your oldest get a benefit of what she does around the house and babysitting her siblings.... like she gets two dollars an hour when she baby sits, or ten dollars a week for doing the cleaning and cooking...

Why don't you find time in your schedule and spend it with your children..learn what they like to do not what they do because they think it pleases you. Teach your ten year old how to sew, or play hide and seek with all your kids, take them swimming, read them a book, have all your kids and you in the kitchen to make cookies letting each one be responsible for a part of the cooking - except the baby, play music and dance around the house...

If you can handle the option of getting a pet for your girls to take care of that also teaches confidence and respnsibility...how about a fish tank...
Unfortunatly that is all I can think about...seems like your kids have enough confidence and responsibility to last a life time at their ages.
Good luck

Answer 8

It seems your children are allready pretty capale and responsible. But when exactly do they have time to be what they are children. I was an older child with a mom who worked. She thought the world of me . But I had so many responsiblities I had no fun, no friends nothing but constant babysitting and reminders of what a great help I was. I promised myself when I had children I would do better. I have two responsible girls. But I cooked, I cleaned, I showed them that I was the one in charge of taking care of them. I set an example of the kind of woman I wanted them to be. They still are not mothers but if and when they do have children. They will expect their children help, but they will be allowed to be children first.

Answer 9

Take it easy. Reading your question makes me think that your kids are already responsible and caring persons, just be a good mother and leave everything else to God.

Answer 10

just be a good mother.