Why do men expect you to communicate with them in bed?

Question

This is a question for men but anyone can answer; it was prompted by a radio talk show host who said "women are to blame for men being such bad lovers, because they won't communicate in bed."
Why the hell do men want so much communication in bed, when they pretty much refuse to communicate at any other time? Any other time, when women want to communicate, you can't be bothered, or we're "nagging" you. but when it's time to hit the sheets, you want absolute communication? I say learn to communicate with your woman OUTSIDE the bedroom, and she will be more willing to communicate INSIDE the bedroom. What do you think?

Thanks for your opinions, but many of you ARE NOT answering the question. I KNOW why communication is a good thing in the bedroom. What I WANT TO KNOW is why men think we should communicate with THEM (in bed) when they refuse to do so with US (anywhere else)

Answer 1

Why? Why not? We are easy. One constant motion and we are done. You are not. We have to go left at the junction and backwards towards the crease, at different speeds. We need to hear what you want in bed, so we can be efficient with time and motion. No one wants to "eat at the Y" for 15 minutes and hear the lady yawn because we were doing it wrong. Bottom line is, if you want yours, tell us how. Out of bed we do not have to communicate with you...we are done. Just kidding. Out of bed are you trying to communicate about something we both care about? We both care about the sex or why are we having it? We really not that deep and yes sometimes we are really NOT thinking about anything. Eat, drink,sex, sleep...that's what we do.

Answer 2

Lack of communication is the biggest factor leading to divorce. It's funny how one can tell a best friend what you cannot tell a wife/husband. I have always communicated, from day one of any relationship, honesty. A soul mate evolves from such firm foundations as truth, honesty and the ability to communicate. Most women make up orgasms, they do so because of lack of communication. Men feel wonderful if they can make the universe pass through a woman, because I communicate, I have learned how to make that happen, and if I cannot, then i don't need false climaxes, I just need the truth.

Answer 3

I think you are right to a point. But if your man isn't communicating with you outside of the bedroom, you've got bigger problems than just the sex.

So why is communication so important in the bedroom? It's simple; you have to let your man know what you want in bed, and what your preferences are, what you like.

Answer 4

It's because every woman is different and has different things she likes done to her and different areas that are more sensitive and erogenous to her. I for one enjoy trying to find the spots that set her off, but if time is an issue a little "hey why don't you lick the back of my knee, I really like that" would help immensely. Believe it or not some guys really do like to make women feel good and are not there just to please themselves. Just don't bark out orders like a Marine drill Sargent though, that's not too sexy. And there is a big difference between "Get off your *** and take out the garbage" and "Oh yeah I like that baby, now just a little slower". Whether instructions or praise in the bedroom, you can't go wrong. If your lover is not doing the things you like, than it's your fault.

Answer 5

LOL! Men are very insecure deep down inside, I don't care if your name is Donald Trump or Brad Pitt or Jamie Foxx. So, they need us to pump their heads up in bed. They need the dirty talk, it gets them off and it stays in their minds long after the sex is over. It makes them feel viril and strong. Now, if we tell them how great they are and how big their d*cks are, they will be more willing to communicate outside the bedroom. Stroke their egos, if you really love your man. If you can't get yourself to do that you may be harboring some sort of resentment towards him and could be the downfall of the relationship. Thats what happened to me but now I can say I love my new boyfriend very much and I tell him how great he is all the time and he tells me everything, even when a sneaky ex-girlfriend calls him to get him to come over. Actually he begs me to communicate more, I tend to hold painful things in. I love my boyfriend "BWL" and I would do anything for him. But I hear you, some men are just pigs!

Answer 6

well which came first the chicken or the egg?// seriously men are not mind readers..and if communicating in the bedroom gives the both of you a closer more loving relationship..chances are its going to spill outside the bedroom into every other aspect of your lives together. So is it really important where the communication starts???Let your man be a man and once he has his confidence in communicating with you safely and honestly and increasing the intimacy between you...youll probably want him to shut up..lol

Answer 7

By communication in bed, they aren't talking about "Hey, Honey, how was your day", or "I think this is what's wrong with our relationship". To guys, sex is very important. They want to know that they are making you happy and satisfied. If all a girl does is moan, it can be difficult to tell when she is really getting a lot of pleasure, or as much pleasure as she needs. So by saying this or that feels good, he can focus on what you need, too. Guys are a lot easier to read. They don't tend to moan or groan or grunt until it really feels good. Women generally moan when it STARTS to feel good, so they can't decipher the mmm that feels good moans from the OH MY GOD YES moans.

It's also a boost to their ego. "Oh that feels so good" is male for "Hell Ya, I'm doin a great job!". Guys want to make a girl happy, especially in bed. It increases their male prowess. Guys are weird, I know.

Answer 8

I agree with your last statement. My guess is that men like the easy way(s), generally. Since performing well in bed seems to feed their ego and makes them feel SO good about themselves, they want a woman to actually tell them what would make her feel good. They don't want the hard way, having to find that on their own.
Of course, I'm sure a man could answer better to this question.

Answer 9

A man who cares about his lover in bed is a keeper. If a man wants communication in bed, it's because he's thoughtful enough to want his woman to be as satisfied as he is, and men like that don't happen that often.

Answer 10

what we mean by communication is,soft moans and groans,and the occasional," yeah thats the spot ,oh yeah, do it right there." or it wouldn't hurt to hear a," that feels sooo good".to alot of guys, it is very erotic for them to hear that the woman they are pleasing is actually being pleasured.unless he is one of those arrogant, selfish bastards who puts their own feeling first.then i feel sorry for the woman.it's the same for guys,communication is a two-way street.someone has to begin the conversation, and lets admit that guys have trouble doing that.cause as soon as we open our mouths the only thing that comes out is,"hey,want to go have sex".and lets face it sex without some sort of acknowledgement that you are enjoying it ,is a form of silent rape.but that is just my opinion. hope this helps you understand men a little better.have a good life full of luck.