I have 2 daughters. I have custody of my 14yr daughter. She have been with me my most of her life. She now wants to go live with her mother. I am just falling apart about it. I love my daughter so much. It appears that she wants to go to her mothers because she can do what she wants. Her 16yr old sister can do really what she wants at her mother's house. Her mother is more like a friend to her than a mother. I am father first, than more like a friend. She is a wonderful daughter (honor role, but I have to keep up on her). She seems to rebel against me. I tried so much to improve on our relationship. But it appears that no matter what I try it doesnt help. I feel the best thing for her is to stay with me. I think she feels like she is missing out with her mother because her mother really doesnt give her much attention. I do the opposite and my daughter seems like she doesnt want my attention. I am lost and looking for help. Not afraid to ask for help when it comes to my daughter
2006-07-30 01:50:46 · 9 answers · asked by tbknights 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Daughters are very much in need of a mother at that age.. They are beginning to have new changes in not only their bodies but their whole life is changing. I know it's hard to let go when you love your child so much. I went thru this with my son at that age. I decided the best thing would bel let him go to his fathers to live. He wasn't gone long and by Christmas he was ready to come back home. I made him stay til the end of the school term and told him if he still wanted to come back then he could come. I let him know that he was not going to get mad with one and run to the other. He never asked to live with his father after that. You need to sit down and calmly talk WITH (not at) your daughter and find out just what she wants and the reason why. Maybe by this you two could come up with a compromise. Of course a little prayer wouldn't hurt either. Best of luck to you both and God bless.
2006-07-30 02:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by Auntiem115 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You certainly seem to have the qualities for good parenting. So that's a good start. But you also have a teenager, totally different than the first 12-13 years. Teenagers are now trying to establish their identity, thus the rebellion. And it is natures way to "push the bird from the nest" so to speak. If you have the funds you might try to see a counselor that specializes in adolescent behavior. They can help you understand what is going on in this often very confusing part of your child's life. You also were once an adolescent, draw on that. I am not going to tell you to let your child go live with her mother or not, to many variables to consider. And check out the web for good books on child rearing, the teen years. Will give you some ideas on what to check out in the local library. Just keep loving her, keep the discipline and guidance your post suggests that you have. Good luck. Peace.
2006-07-30 02:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin' let me say this, you are a wonderful father to care so much about your daughters. But, there comes a time when they have to spread their wings. Leave the lines of communication open and allow her this spreading of her wings. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what - and actually be there when she needs you. Tell her you expect her grades to stay up, even offer an incentive if you want and stick to it, if she doesn't make the grades, she gets nothing.
On the other hand, make sure that you keep a level head and do not let yuorself be used. This is a difficult time for all young people, but let het be with her sister and mother and know that all that you have shown her up until now has helped make her who she is, mistakes are how we learn.
Be strong and may God bless you.
2006-07-30 03:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by auntb629 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her give it a chance, but keep in close contact to make sure she is okay. If you don't let her your relationship will only get worse. If her mom doesn't pay attention as you say then she will likely want to come back. In any case as she grows older she will realize what a wonderful dad you were. She's at an age now where she needs to rebel.
2006-07-30 02:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately this one your going to loose, but not that bad, if you do it right. If you refuse, she will Hate you. Let her go to her mom's house. You have a smart daughter, and it won't take long before she sees what her mother is like. Freedom is nice, but not when no one cares. Let her go to mom's, in the long run, she'll probably come home again. She knows who loves her, and needs to find out who doesn't.
2006-07-30 01:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her go for good...let her stay for a few months..my bet is she will get home sick...a mom that lets her kids do what ever they want is not much of a mom and that goes for the love as well....kids require love and discipline even if they don't know it...she loves you...its just a waiting game ----> ;o)
2006-07-30 01:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by dreamzzz102 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep it the way it is and just keep reassuring her that it is for her own good.but,dont bad mouth mom.keep those feelings to yourself. you can point out the facts that you can see, that she can see in plane site.can she visit the mom???? maybe she just needs a day or two a weekend or every other weekend with her to see how things really are.it may seem like Disney, but if you are right she will see good v bad.or right v wrong. good luck. i mean that!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-30 02:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont push too hard on the honor role thing, dont be an overexpectant parent. maybe you need tro ease off her a little.
2006-07-30 01:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Fowl Language 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont push and rush..
2006-07-30 01:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by yogesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋