muslim sisters... i am really afraid... can you help me???

Question

i converted to islam over summer vacation, and have to go back to public school with hijab, i am scared of the reactions i will get from fellow class mates. i have always been not too pretty, and very very big. i have always stood out and got made fun of all the time. now i will go to highschool for my senior year, and am afraid of what they will think of me, say to me, and what they will do to me.. i really need help with this...

Answer 1

Susan Carland grew up in the Vermont area and has happy memories of her childhood. "It's funny how much I try and imitate my experience of childhood with my daughter. I even take her to the lakes my mother took me, to feed the ducks."

We are sitting in her home. She wears a denim skirt, a long-sleeved T-shirt, a blue headscarf. Until recently, she drove a bubblegum-pink VW Beetle called Gus. She has a bright, expressive energy and a sense of humour consistent with the fact that she lists Rik Mayall of The Young Ones among her formative influences. But she is also tired. Her 10-month-old daughter Aisha wakes often in the night.

Her parents divorced when she was seven; she went to live with her mother whom she describes as strong and loving, and the biggest influence on her life.

Her mother's religious ideas now are to be found in radical Christian thinkers such as American Bishop John Shelby Spong, but, when Susan was a child, her parents belonged to the Uniting Church. She started Sunday School but gave it away aged about 12 to watch Video Hits. "I always believed in God," she says. "I always felt a desire to know God."



Susan Carland, with daughter Aisha, isn't sure whether she found Islam, or it found her, but she discovered a gentleness she never expected.
Picture: Joe Armao

Around 14 she joined a "funky, happy, clappy church" that was part of the charismatic movement. Around her, people were claiming to speak in tongues and announcing that God had spoken to them in the night. These experiences were alien to her. She found the confusion arising from this notion of knowing God "all-encompassing".

Otherwise, she pursued a normal adolescence, attending ballet classes, going to the Big Day Out. She topped the class in biology and English.

At the age of 17, one of her New Year's resolutions was "to investigate other religions". Islam was not high on her list. "It looked violent, sexist and foreign." All she knew about Islam was a sentence in a children's encyclopedia and the movie, Not Without My Daughter. Afterwards her mother said: "I don't care if you marry a drug dealer, but don't marry a Muslim."

She doesn't know whether she found Islam or Islam found her. She'd turn on the television and find herself watching a program on it. Newspaper and magazine articles caught her eye. Privately, she began studying the religion and came across "a gentleness I never expected to find". Importantly, Islam appealed to her intellectually. "It didn't have that intellectual divide between mind and body and soul that I had found in Christianity."

Having made her decision to convert, she steeled herself to tell friends and family, particularly her mother, putting off the moment. Fate intervened one night when her mother announced they were having pork chops for dinner. "My mother gave me a hug," she recalls, "but she was crying." A few days later, she began wearing a headscarf.

She says the importance of the headscarf is greatly exaggerated, but "Islam touches every aspect of your life. To me, it's a tangible reminder of being close to God." She says it also makes Muslim women flag-bearers, or ambassadors, for Islam.

She says she "met a lot of anger" becoming a Muslim. Some of her old friends disappeared. Now, five years later, aged 24, she has friends who are both Muslim and non-Muslim and an Australian-born Muslim husband who barracks for Richmond. She has degrees in arts and science from Monash University and would like to become a sociologist.

She believes it is her lot in life to never fit in. Her headscarf means she attracts occasional rude comments in the street and lots of stares. She's thinking of getting a T-shirt printed with the words: "If you keep staring I might do a trick." At the same time, she has found herself in disputes within the Muslim community on the role of women.

Her honors thesis is on women's access to the mosque. "There's been a gradual exclusion of female scholars in Islam. Originally, there were many, but that's been eroded. Islamic scholarship has become dominated by men from patriarchal cultures."

At times, she says she has been let down by certain attitudes within the Muslim community on issues of gender and race. She believes that what she and a growing number of Islamic feminists around the world are arguing for is the authentic Islam. "These are issues of justice. Men should be angry about them as well. What sort of a man places his security on the subjugation of women?"

She is active within the Muslim community, speaking on its behalf in churches and non-Muslim schools, and working with refugees.

When told she had won the Muslim of the Year title, a prize worth $2000 to be distributed to charities of her choice, she accepted on two conditions: that she would spend the money in Australia and give to non-Muslim as well as Muslim organisations.

Susan Carland's life hasn't been straightforward, but she says she has become used to not fitting in. She has never regretted converting to Islam



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Answer 2

I'm not a muslim sister, but I'm assuming you're talking about going back to school in the US. As weird as we might seem at all different levels, where we shout about things from the President down, we actually are pretty good about peoples differences. Also, as Americans we always like the underdog, and not to sound strange but I bet people will go out of their way to make sure you feel comfortable. Did you go to the same school last year? If so, you'll be treated the same. If not, you'll just have to put up with the same junk that any new student does. Don't be afraid, and if you come across anything, if you feel unsafe or worried go to your school counselor or Principal, they will make sure you're ok. It saddens me that the very fiber of America is being torn apart for our children. I think you'll find the same sentiment, I'm hoping at least!

Answer 3

Find the strength within your new faith to find new ways to deal with the same problems you've had to deal with all your life. It is always wonderful when young people seek any type of spiritual truth. You're stronger than you know. These people tease you because they want to distract themselves from how little they feel (and some of them just aren't very smart :) If you are going to worry about what people think about you, you will never stop worrying. You can't control what other people think (see above:). Remember that they are ill-mannered idiots. If ignoring what they say doesn't shut them up after a few days, seek help. Try not to let them see how much they hurt your feelings. If you are worried about what they will do to you, you need to talk to a parent or some one at the school. You do not have to tolerate ANY form of abuse.

Answer 4

Asalam Alaikum
I want to congratulate you on finding Islam. May Allah continue to guide you. If you need anything email me.

As far as going back to school it may be tough. Remember some of the things the Prophet(peace be upon him) had to go though. Just remember you are doing it for God and your rewards are with him. Any suffering you do in this life you will be rewarded for if not here then in the next life. Stay strong and stand your ground. And remember Allah is happy with you when you obey him. Leave these ignorant people to be dealt with by him.

Answer 5

First,congratulations,giting into Islam & decide to wear hijab is not easy,so,good for you.My dear,if you are afraid about your situation,allow me to give a personal advice,God wants us to do what he orders but he never asked us to put ourselves in danger,so,if your hijab will present a problem at your life,don't wear it,I'm not asking you to do something bad,i wear hijab,but i'm in a Muslim country,so,no one will hurt me,but you,you're treated,no need to risque your life for hijab,i believe that only what in heart matters,try to not wear bad cloths,just be your self,give a good image of Islam,your thoughts & ideas will protect you much better than a scarf on the head,rememeber,some muslims ate at ramadan for nessecery,just when you feel more safe,wear then hijab,but don't risque your future for this ,i'm sure that God will understand,& may his bless you,protect you,& guide you for the best!

Answer 6

Doesn't matter what they say. It is important what God has to say to you. Everybody is the same in the eyes of God. Don't be afraid of your classmates words . If they say something bad than it means that they are very low people and don't deserve your attention. True friends are those that see you as you really are and that love you sincerely.


I know a site that really helped me and gave me real joy and selfconfidence
God bless you

Answer 7

First, congratulations on converting to Islam. It's one of the biggest gifts ever. God only "chooses" certain people who are pure in their hearts to converto to Islam. Not everybody who listens/ reads about Islam converts.

Second, don't worry about those people who make fun of you. God will protect you from the evil that consumes them. Just pray to God and ask for his guidance and you will see how He answers your prayers.

Good luck :-)

Answer 8

sis...mashaAllah i congratulate u. - and more for ur decision of wearing the hijab at school, leave the hesitations... i know it wont be easy for u to face the bullies at school. but hey, ur stronger than everyone else at school in a 1000 ways...

“Whosoever performs good deeds whether male or female and is a believer, we shall surely make him live a good life and we will certainly reward them for the best of what they did.” (QURAN 16:97).

Answer 9

let them say what they want to.... u shudnt care what other ppl say....
the ppl who make fun of ur beauty or other stuff.. r themselves PSYCHOTIC!!!.. they either have a SUPERIORITY COMPLEX or an INFERIORITY COMPLEX!!!.. u shudnt care abt pathetic ppl like them...
what u shud really care abt is ur RELIGION.....
n make Allah happy with u :)
the more u sacrifice in Gods way .. the more u make HIM happy with u :)
n yeah i forgot to CONGRATULATE u on converting to islam.. it sure is the true religion n inshAllah u'll find peace in it :)
i laso take a scarf ... n i also get some taunts sometimes... but it doesnt matter..... these things r waaaay tooo smalll as compared to the reward we get in return:)

Answer 10

Islam teaches us peace and tolerance...do not be scared of this screensaver world...be ready for the real world...be humble and tolerate and the ragging...u'll turn out of the rest...welcome to the religion of peace.

Answer 11

wear it at school and never be afraid they won't do any thing 4 you i have a muslim friend in amireca and she wear the hijab in and out school so don't you worry
besides if any one said any thing and you kept it you'll have the love of allah trust in allah and wear it god pless you
i'm a muslim