How to deal with an angry chid?

Question

the child is 6 year old

Answer 1

Handling children's anger can be puzzling, draining, and distressing for adults. In fact, one of the major problems in dealing with anger in children is the angry feelings that are often stirred up in us. It has been said that we as parents, teachers, counselors, and administrators need to remind ourselves that we were not always taught how to deal with anger as a fact of life during our own childhood. We were led to believe that to be angry was to be bad, and we were often made to feel guilty for expressing anger.

It will be easier to deal with children's anger if we get rid of this notion. Our goal is not to repress or destroy angry feelings in children--or in ourselves--but rather to accept the feelings and to help channel and direct them to constructive ends.

Parents and teachers must allow children to feel all their feelings. Adult skills can then be directed toward showing children acceptable ways of expressing their feelings. Strong feelings cannot be denied, and angry outbursts should not always be viewed as a sign of serious problems; they should be recognized and treated with respect.

To respond effectively to overly aggressive behavior in children we need to have some ideas about what may have triggered an outburst. Anger may be a defense to avoid painful feelings; it may be associated with failure, low self-esteem, and feelings of isolation; or it may be related to anxiety about situations over which the child has no control.

Angry defiance may also be associated with feelings of dependency, and anger may be associated with sadness and depression. In childhood, anger and sadness are very close to one another, and it is important to remember that much of what an adult experiences as sadness is expressed by a child as anger.

Before we look at specific ways to manage aggressive and angry outbursts, several points should be highlighted:

We should distinguish between anger and aggression. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.


Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. In other words, in looking at aggressive behavior in children, we must be careful to distinguish between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal.


In dealing with angry children, our actions should be motivated by the need to protect and to reach, not by a desire to punish. Parents and teachers should show a child that they accept his or her feelings, while suggesting other ways to express the feelings. An adult might say, for example, "Let me tell you what some children would do in a situation like this..." It is not enough to tell children what behaviors we find unacceptable. We must teach them acceptable ways of coping. Also, ways must be found to communicate what we expect of them. Contrary to popular opinion, punishment is not the most effective way to communicate to children what we expect of them.

Answer 2

WOW! I could have posted this question myself. I, too, have a 6-year-old with anger issues. Most of the time he's sweet and loving, but almost daily, something doesn't go his way (from losing a game to being told "no") and he loses it. I keep hoping he'll outgrow this, but with each passing year, I don't see it abating. I guess I'M going to have to be the one to change.

I read a book, recommended by a friend, called "The Explosive Child" by Dr. Ross Green and it really seemed to help (although I has since fallen back into my old habits of response and gotten the same results as before!). His idea is pretty simple - there are three options and if you keep responding with just option A, you'll keep getting option A results. He has suggestions for implementing the best option (option B) but it's a bit later in the book (read the first chapter, then skip ahead).

HTH

Answer 3

if the anger is not for any valid reason just try to ignore him when he acts that way and then when he cools down just let him know that it will not do him any good and explain to him that being angry doesn't help achieve anything. don't think your child is too small to understand this. because then we never know when is the right time to tell them. but pls try to talk to your son and find out what is it that angers him so much. may be he's bullied at school or he is not given attention at home. in which case you have to find ways of spending quality time with your child and help him grow in spirit and as an individual.

Answer 4

give u three guesses
its handheld and makes a really loud BANG noise


lol
nahh just kidding
they just need alot of positive feedback as to why, what they're doing is not the best idea. just by talking to them will take their mind off it and just keep talking untill they've cooled down a bit.

getting angry at them will only make them worse as soon as u turn your back. same as ignoring them. works when they're young, but not forever.

Answer 5

there can be many reasons for anger.

if the child's anger is a result of not getting something they want which you have decided is not necessary or safe or.....

they want control of something which again you have decided is in their best interest not to have

not do give in to the child. this will only show them there is power in out bursts and it works.

I do not know enough to suggest what you should do to curtail or address the anger

Answer 6

It will be hard.
Get him a toy or give him some sweets.Find what he wanted and what has made him angry.

Answer 7

give him time out

Answer 8

By smiling with her or him

Answer 9

Tough job.

Answer 10

ignore him..