Because there hasn't been a formal "breakup", I'm having a really hard time letting go. I really don't think that there will be any sort of formal "breakup", we are just over. I can't move on and it's driving me crazy and making me so sad.
You would think by now it would be easier but it's not. Help!
2006-07-29 21:42:48 · 27 answers · asked by Shaun M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, since you already know their is no formal break up...how about you write a letter to him...telling him how you feel, what you want from him ( a formal break up), and why? Once you are done writing this letter, reread it to yourself and make sure you have said everything you have been wishing and meaning to say. Then put that letter in an envelope and seal it...now hide it!
Then for the next month, I recommend you keep yourself busy. Make sure you always have a friend, or close family member around to help you forget about the break up and make you laugh. Pick up a new hobby, salsa dancing or tango lessons...do something that you have been meaning to do for quite some time...and stick to it...this way you will meet new people who will distract you as well. Avoid spending anytime alone, because that's when one's mind starts to wander and wonder about all the "what ifs." Make sure you keep your calendar booked for an entire month, go to movies, go dancing, have a girls night out and etc...just keep busy. Once the month is over...open that letter you wrote and see how you feel... then write another letter on how things are going and how you have changed since when you first wrote that letter. Over time...you will heal..I promise.
Furthermore, after a couple weeks I recommend you start meeting new people and going on dates this way...you will keep your mind off of the break up. This doesn't mean you have to jump into a relationship...but just meet new people.
2006-07-29 21:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I'm qualified to answer... but let me tell you why I Thot I'd write - I have just gone through a very difficult 'break-up' myself. Its heart-wrenching to see the person you are in love sit across from you as a stranger... where did the intensity and the sweet innocence disappear?
Anyway, I think it would help if you had a formal break-up... u need closure. I was 'informed' via sms that the rship was over. Considering the way we were... it was a sad way to end the r'ship.I decided that I needed to end it gracefully.. so met her and wrote her a letter saying all I wanted to. That helped..coz as i wrote the letter..the tears wouldn't stop.. n then.. i felt so much better.
Since then, I haven't called her... messaged a few times.. but only when she msgd... don't want to have any hopes and am keeping my distance. As some1 else said.. having no contact is the best way.. also keeping busy..with wotever.
But... I don't think you can switch off and move on... the thots will linger.. for some time atleast... enjoy the good memories and ignore the rest... life has a way of just moving on.. and you will too! :-)
Smile and tell yourself the world is a great place!
2006-07-30 04:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by freemind76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I have been through that to. You love the boy so much that when you stop talking or breakup it is like you get so sad, depressed ,and stressed out about it till it just drive you crazy till you need someone to talk to. I am just gone tell you this don't ever let a man or a boy make you feel like that never just hold your head up and look to the sky and soon a man of your dreams will come again but better than the one before.
2006-07-30 05:03:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and meet some cute guys at a club with your friends. I'm not saying jump right into another relationship. Just get your mind on someone else. Pour youself into a new project of some sort. Take up a hobby. You need something that takes up your time and your attention. Even if your heart isn't in it, fake it 'til you make it. Just stay busy. The only other thing that will help is time.
2006-07-30 04:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had more than a few of these, so I know what you're going through.
From the experience that I've had, take a friend, preferably one that is single, and go for a late night walk. In our area, there's a large, wide open space in town, and at night, you can just walk, talk about what's happened, think about what you wanna do now, who you can see, what you wanna do with your time, what guy to try for, etc.
Sometimes, going and hitting a denny's at 2am works wonders too, because it's fun to just kick back, relax, and enjoy your friend's company on the rebound.
Key thing, don't be alone....can get too depressed.
Good luck, and let us know how we can help.
2006-07-30 04:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by steveraven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like what I went through with a man I was deeply in love with and thought I was going to marry all before I met my husband now.
It was soooo hard. It took years to get over him and our relationship.
I suggest getting yourself involved in school, service, your family, and doing things with your girlfriend.
Don't start dating other guys yet, especially don't make out with anyone or look for another boyfriend. You'll only be using him.
Just keep yourself preoccupied and busy and happy and don't go places that remind you of him.
Another thing that really helps is writing a letter, or a hundred letters, all to him. But don't give them to him. Spill your guts out in these letters. Tell him everything you've ever wanted to say to him and don't be shy. Do this as many times as is needed then burn them, one at a time. It really helps let go of some of that "baggage" from the relationship.
Good luck!
2006-07-30 04:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are so important at this stage. Go out with them, talk to them, just be busy constantly. Join a club or something and meet new people. The key here is to keep busy and to NOT think about him. Get rid of everything that reminds of the guy and move on.
2006-07-30 05:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there done that... not easy.. left marks for like.. few months in fact.. well... just keep a straight mind.. look ahead.. dont look back.. cos well.. thats the past.. the "if i cud go back to the past, i wud ..... " speech wont work cos u WONT or rather CANT go back to the past.. occupy urself with some stuff to forget bout the breakup.. like.. join some clubs.. play some games.. but with loud music and like.. action.. somehow silence will make ur mind drift too..
it's hard to move on.. just forget bout this stuff for awhile.. think of the advantages of being single.. like.. no one owns u.. etc etc.. just keep an empty mind and well.. eventually u'll get over it.. it works..
2006-07-30 04:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay busy all the time. Have fun with friends or someone you know makes you laugh. I been there and believe me it may feel like you'll never be able to do anythng with yourself because your too busy thinkin about a guy. But eventually that feeling will go away. It all takes time tho.Hope all works out for you!
2006-07-30 04:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by Janelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you broke up for a reason...and/or you ended for a reason...so thats your closure. nothing is better than knowing that it's over when it is over...and it looks like it's over. So you should be happy you know that and you can move onto the next stage of your life. Which is using the experiences you learned from this relationship to help you select the right mate faster, and deselect all the wrong ones faster. does that make sense?
2006-07-30 04:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by Bay Area Real Estate Realtors 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋