One of my good friends ask me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. I said I would but really I don't want too ! There are certain personal reasons why I don't want to be in the wedding. What would be the best excuse for me to get of this without hurting her feelings and not ruining our friendship.
2006-07-29 20:29:16 · 11 answers · asked by Crazydays 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
"I'm thrilled that you're getting married. And I'm honoured to be chosen to be your bridesmaid. I truly want to share your joy but I'm not comfortable/ready to a bridesmaid. I hope you understand. Thanks..."
2006-07-29 22:16:52 · answer #1 · answered by Queenie Tay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm going to let you know that I don't think there is any way to do this without hurting her feelings. Chances are that she put a lot of thought into who she wanted to be bridesmaids. However I do think you can do it without ruining your friendship or making her mad at you.
There are two things though to think about here. The first is, should you really back out? What are your reasons? Are they ones that you can share with the bride? If you are going to let her down you should be able or willing to tell her the reason. I have known more than a couple of people who didn't want to be in a wedding after they found out who the other bridesmaids were (two of my bridesmaids didn't like each other) and I have to say, if this girl is your best friend I would ask you to reconsider that reasoning. But if it's something else, or something important that you cannot possibly reconcile, then I would go ahead and back out.
The second is how to back out - it should really be done in person if at all possible. It's not just a casual cancelling of a lunch date - you are telling this girl that you don't want to stand up next to her when she gets married. Be completely honest with her - if you can't be honest you should at least figure out a really good reason why you can't do it. Make sure she knows that you care about her and that you feel badly about it. Maybe you could offer to help with something else, and let her know that you're there for her in any other way. Good luck!
2006-07-30 04:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without you giving us the 'reason', it's hard to help you correctly. You'll just have to decide what's more important, your personal reason or her wedding. If it's something like you don't condone drinking and alcohol will be at the wedding, suck it up and be there for her. No one will force you to drink. If it's something more like 'her fiancee always hits on me', then simply say "I'm honoured you would ask me, but unfortunately I just can't take that responsibility. I'll be happy to attend and help out as I can, but I just can't do it," and be really sincere about it. She'll underdstand that it's a big committment.
Good luck to you.
2006-07-30 06:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as possible you need to talk to her and tell her you don't want to be a bridesmaid and you have to tell her why. Is it a problem with someone else in the wedding? If it's a problem with her, you really need to deal with it. You can't have friends you don't respect.
2006-07-29 20:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they registered any wherein? It could say so within the invitation. If you hate the concept of going for walks round a shop with a record,simply get them a present card to that retailer. If the marriage ceremony isn't that a long way away then all of the luxurious units are more commonly those left in there registry,persons have a tendency to shop for the most cost effective units at the couples record,so a present card perhaps the satisfactory approach to pass. If they aren't registered any wherein,a present card remains to be the satisfactory approach to pass.Get them a Visa present card,you'll be able to ususally purchase them at a financial institution,name round and uncover out who has them and if there's a cost for the cardboard itself..its more commonly only some greenbacks.You can positioned any sum of money at the card,and it is similar to a bank card,so they are able to use it any wherein that takes bank cards,even on-line.
2016-08-28 15:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give her an "excuse", give her a "reason" - that would be the most mature thing to do. It would hurt your friendship more if you weren't there for her to count on if you were part of her wedding party and you really didn't want to be. Be honest.
2006-07-30 03:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then why did you say you would? maybe you should have thought about that before you said yes. All you can do now is just tell her you cant be in the wedding and hope for he best outcome.
2006-07-30 01:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not really much you can do without hurting her feelings as it is an honor for you to be asked. I think you are going to have to put your personal feelings aside and go through it. Its not going to kill you and its only for a day.
2006-07-29 21:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was hurt too when one of my good friends declined to be my bridesmaid. You don't have to be afraid to tell her....
2006-07-29 20:41:41 · answer #9 · answered by pn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that I have other financial obligations that will not permit me to be in your wedding. No money No dress! However, say it in a tactful manner.
2006-07-29 20:36:08 · answer #10 · answered by bredambrs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋