My husbands sister wrote him a letter saying how much she loves him and how she wishes he would take off work to come visit her and take her to lunch. In the letter she said she wonders is he still loves her like she loves him. And every night before bed she thinks about him. On the front of the envelope she states don't let your wife read this. Not only that everychance she gets she puts his pictures up on her wall and puts my hes my hero. Or she will put a picture of my two kids and her bro saying my three favorite men. She is only 14 years old. I just feel like shes always to trying to do something to get to him notice her. Like I would have done when I was 14 for a boy I liked. Do you think I am over reacting out of jealousy or does she sound too in love with her brother.
2006-07-29 20:18:09 · 21 answers · asked by Crazydays 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would have said that she just adores her brother, except for the writing "don't let your wife read this" on the envelope. That's clearly not normal.
And the bit about thinking about him every night before bed is a little too sexy for brother and sister.
She's being secretive and acting like she's physically attracted to him. Maybe you should sit down and talk to her - in a non-confrontational way - about your husband/her brother. Just talk and get a feel about her from there. Talk to her when your husband isn't around. But do not accuse her of being overly affectionate. You (and me too) could be totally wrong and it would ruin whatever relationship you have right now.
Have you talked with your husband about this? What does he think?
2006-07-29 20:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by RQ1227 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great to have that closeness.
HOWEVER.
There is something unhealthy about this.
1) "Don't let your wife read this".
How come? Does he approve of that? What is her reasonings? That right there can tell you that this is unhealthy behavior.
2) "Wonders if he still loves her like she loves him"
Now this can be taken two ways. If she was raised by him and only had his love. I can understand her having a problem with her brother now loving someone else. "My hero" can be the reason. She might of not had males around and now she has three main ones in her life. She only knows this type of love of effection.
Or there was something unhealthy going on between those two...
How did you come across that letter? If you can discuss this with your husband and then discuss this with her. Maybe this can give some good bonding with you if she hasn't had a female in her life. However, I do think this is a unhealthy situation for her.
2006-07-30 03:45:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is clear cut over reacting. No offense. I would be worried if she was... say maybe 18, maybe 16... but at 14 a girl is starting to develop to the point of adolescent crushes, and sometimes that may be a family member or a close friend of the family, age being no factor. Point in all this being, she will grow out of it if this is in fact the case. Also being 14, it is a possibility that she is just jealous of you, maybe she feels you took her brother away. Especially if they used to be really close. I would say nothing to worry about so long as it does not continue for an extended period of time. She'll get a new crush the day school starts.
2006-07-30 03:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by hotshot_63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see your point I think it would be annoying lil things like dont let your wife read this or having a picture of your two kids and him saying favorite men and loving her and blah blah. Annoying yes but she is 14 and younger kids are annoying she may be jealous over you maybe she feels you took her brother away maybe he is the only or closest male figure she has. So dont worry about it just suck it in and think wow she really loves her brohter and be happy for them and also think hell at least its his sister not some other chick RIGHT???
2006-07-30 03:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by â?¥á?¦á?¦â?¥ CRISSY â?¥á?¦á?¦â?¥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she might have feelings for him. She may have her feelings confused. Sometimes when family members are so close, the relationship lines can become blurred. Like when little girls say, "When I grow up, I want to marry you daddy" and vice versa with little boys. She just needs to redirect her emotions. You need to have a chat with your husband to discuss this. She made need a little counselling to deal with the issue. It's a problem that can be resolved.
2006-07-30 09:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by Angell777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't wan't to say your jelous but I could eaisly see a 14 year old doing that. She probable wants to know he still loves her among other things. You should enjoy this time cuz in just a few short years it can turn compleatly oposite.
2006-07-30 03:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by Like Glue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surprisingly enough, there are actually a lot of siblings that are really close to each other, so in that kind of case, then no, it's not weird. Especially if there is a big age difference, it could be that he has taken really good care of her since she was younger and she idolizes him for that.
2006-07-30 03:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not in Love with him the way you think, she loves him like a sister and its ivies to me that she is finding it hard to except that he is married to you which in turn makes her think that all the love or closeness he shared with her is now devoted to you. He needs to reassure her that his love for her as his sister is still there, but now he loves his wife and kids as a husband and father and needs to be there for them.
2006-07-30 03:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Tilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its normal if u live in alabama! but if not then it is really weird! are they real brother and sister? if they are then thats just creepy! and if ur husband likes the attention than theres something wrong with him too! tell ur husband to tell her to back off a little! good luck!
2006-07-30 03:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's not in love with her own bro...maybe she missed him too much...maybe her bro(your hubby) haven't seen her for so long...or maybe she's just alone and has no one to talk to...you said it yourself...she's 14 years old...or maybe even if she has people to talk to (from you see maybe)...perhaps she's just can't simply talk to other people...i have this problem you know...but at least she trusts your hubby...anyway..the point is you are jealous and over reacting and she's definitely not in love with your hubby...dude...she's his 14 years old sis...there' no problem if she loves him so much (as a big bro)
2006-07-30 05:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by Big Bike Biker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋