ADULTS:what advice would you give teens today?Remember, they (as you did!) respond to real advice, not sarcasm

Question

We have 'been there, done that', and suffered/enjoyed it. What experienced advice can you give our future generation?

Thanks Kizz; any other teen input? Help us old folks !

Let's bring in more opinions, email someone the question!

Answer 1

1. You are who you are, and you can't be anyone else. Trying to act different to fit with a certain crowd will only make you feel phony, and trust me, they'll usually see your true colors anyway. You won't be happy faking it, trying to be someone you're not, and your self esteem will take a hit because deep down, you'll know that people don't like you for who you really are (cause you're not acting like YOU). I'm pretty nerdy (like to spend time on google answers, lol), a book worm, very interested in science, low tolerance for gossip and small talk, but I'm from a small town, and the group of friends I was in from K-eighth grade didn't fit me at all by the time I got to high school and knew more who I was. I realized we were different, these people and me, but I didn't have the guts to break away and seek out new friends (it was a small high school, so changing social cliques was no easy thing). In ninth grade, I would watch certain TV shows, pretend to be interested in certain things, dress a certain way, even change how I would usually talk to fit in with my "old" group of friends, so I wouldn't have to make new ones. It was a disaster for me, not socially, but personally. I felt like I couldn't be myself (I wasn't), and I felt like a fish out of water all the time, even with these old friends. Eventually, I did change cliques, and I was so much happier. Even today, sometimes there's pressure at work or in social situations to fit a certain mold, and it's way better to just be you.

2. Know yourself. Take time to figure out who you are, what you like, what you want. Try not to look at yourself as one of your crowd of friends; look at yourself as an individual, and explore your own interests. In college, you probably won't have most of the same friends you do now, and if you do, they'll most likely be at different schools. Your whole life, you're going to need things to sustain yourself when you're alone, you're going to need to know who you really are to find out how to make yourself happy and fulfilled. Try everything once. Keep an open mind. Do as many challenging things as you can. Work on yourself as a person. Be brave. Be the first one to stand up for something, to wear a new style, to chane the way things are done. Not only will you become a stronger person, you'll become more interesting and admired.

3. Be kind. Everyone is delicate in high school, and people can only take so much. Teasing, mimicking people, making fun of things people can't help (a kid has a gray streak in their hair, someone has an alcoholic dad, someone else smells smoky or dresses badly because of their parents, someone else can't afford to buy school lunch, someone speaks with an accent, someone's "dorky", etc.) are all really hurtful. You may be the most popular, the most important, or even just more popular than a certain person now, but that person could be the next Bill Gates. People remember kindness, and you'll feel good about it later. Also, you'll feel really bad if, as sometimes happens, a picked-on kid does something bad (suicide, etc.), and you were one of the people that treated them badly. This might sound crass, but it happens. Last, you could really help someone, improve their life on a scale you may not know, just by being nice.

4. Don't screw up your life. In twenty, even ten years, you won't feel as invincible as you do now, and you'll see how crazy people act in high school, not knowning, not thinking about the consequences. I knew a girl who, as a freshman, got asked to a field party by a hot senior. She got a little drunk, he got really drunk, and she later said she knew she shouldn't have gotten in the car with him, but she felt silly, a freshman at a senior party, asking to ride home with someone sober or calling her mom. She got in the car, they had a bad accident, and the damage to her organs has totally changed her life--for the worst. She has to watch what she eats, she's on steroids so she's always going to be overweight, she'll always have to take medicines, she can't have kids. All because she wasn't bold enough to tell the guy she wanted a sober ride home. It's silly! It's absurd. If you're going to have sex, ALWAYS use a condom. People get aids every day, people get STDs every day, people get pregnant or get someone pregnant every day. These are big things, far reaching, and you're too young to screw yourself up in these ways. Also, don't do drugs. I don't care how bored you are, how much you want to fit in, how much you want to try it just once--people get addicted, people screw up their lives. It's not worth it.

5. This may sound silly, but if you haven't had sex, keep it that way. There's something wonderful about knowing you're a virgin, untouched, unaffected by the major emotional impact of having sex with people, breaking up with them, having sex with more people, breaking up again. If you're a virgin, you're your OWN, and you'll never have to walk past Sam a year after you've broken up, knowing he's seen you, been with you, probably talked about you to the other guys. You may think Joey or Todd or whoever is your one and only, but you have no idea how much you'll change in the next few years (I didn't), and it's a hundred times more fulfilling if you wait till you really, really know yourself, till you're older, know more what you want, and are more emotionally ready for that kind of thing. Plus, virginity makes you alluring, makes you attractive to the opposite sex, and, if you're in a crowd where everyone's lost it, they'll sooner or later be wishing they hadn't. Promise.

6. Think of the big picture. In a decade, give or take howevermany years, you'll be in a different place, with different people, doing different things. You'll only have YOU, standing alone, doing any number of new and exciting things. The only things you'll have from your teenage years are memories (good or bad), experiences that made you who you are now, achievements that bloomed into opportunities, and maybe a few high school friends. You want the best for yourself, everyone does, so put good things into your teenage self. Do what makes you happy, don't act like a fool, make meaningful friendships, don't burn people unnecessarily, learn, achieve, love, take risks. Making a C or D or even a B might not seem like a big deal in tenth grade, but if you discover your passion as a twenty-year-old, at a college, or at a dead-end job, and it's something you can't even imagine now (medicine, rocket science, computer technology, psychology, design, film), you're going to wish you made the best grades you could. Be honest enough with yourself, insightful, forward-thinking enough to know that there's loads more to discover about you and what you want, and why do things that will hinder you down the road? The better you do of finding out who you are, what you want, and with the tasks you have right now, the more opportunities you'll have later. (I promise this is totally true.) The small things, like showing up late for class, acting irresponsible and rude at home, making a D in biology, could hinder you later--when it matters. (Examples: You really, really need seven references for the exclusive arts school you've decided you want to attend summer after senior year- they need to be glowing references, yet you only have two teachers who liked you, and that's only because you cliqued, not because you did exceptional work and were there on time. The teachers are grilled by your reference-checkers, and they end up saying you were a really nice boy/girl, but you *were* kind of late a lot, and you *didn't* do so well in their class, and BAM! you lost your chance at art school. Another: You've decided all you want in the world is a car, or a year abroad freshman year of college, and your bankers (mom and dad) don't trust you enough, don't think you're responsible enough, for them to spend thousands of dollars on you. When they say no, and it's because you didn't show them you can be trusted, it's gonna hurt. And that D in biology... what if you decide you want to go to Harvard and become a neurosurgeon in three years? Every little thing counts.

Answer 2

1. Don't be afraid to fail. Sometimes you learn more from your failures than your successes. It is so much better to try something and fail than to spend a lifetime with what if's and if only's.

2. Don't automatically reject everything your parents say just because they're your parents. Believe it or not, we were not put here to suck the fun out of your young lives. We love you. We want the best for you. Lord knows we're flawed and often dorky, but that doesn't mean we haven't learned some things that might be helpful for you to know.

3. You'll never regret being kind, whether to your elderly great-aunt with the over-powering perfume or the geeky new kid at school who is too shy to look anybody in the face. Ultimately you want to be the person that inspires people to say, "He's sooo nice!" You'll feel better inside your own skin, and people will seek you out for all the right reasons.

Answer 3

Whatever you choose to do in life, be realistic, constant and persistent.
Realistic in the goal you set for yourself. Planning on gettin on American Idol and taking the world by storm? Well, make certain you have a good job for essentials to get you where you are going.
Constant on all levels of preparation for the job and the dream. A journey is easier if you take more little steps. Try planning things now and ask adults you respect lots of questions.
Persistent in the concept of don't quit. Too many teens throw tantrums, need anger management, get in special classes, and more. It counts against you for the rest of your life! "Be careful of people you step on to get to the top, since you will see them on your way back down." You only get respect (sometimes) by giving it first.

Answer 4

my advice would be: study self-esteem A LOT! it was poor or bad self-esteem and lack of self-respect that ruined my life from about 9 - 49. if only i had known the things self-esteem taught me when i was a teen!!!!!!
IMO, if you have high self-worth and healthy self-esteem, your whole life is open to you because there are no 'hang ups' to stop you! sadly, this good self-esteem is not taught or passed on in many families which is why teens and other kids struggle so.
if you were given a good self-esteem upbringing, you will already know what i am writing about and, if not, probably nothing I'm writing will make sense to you.
when you sincerely like and love your self, the whole world likes and loves you too.
how many happy teens do you know and how many grouchy teens do you know? what is the difference between them - SELF-ESTEEM!!!!

Answer 5

Enjoy your life and try to achieve a lot in your school work as your future depends on your school marks and work. I think I did barely enough to get by and enjoyed the social life of school but wished I would've worked harder. Don't make any "life" decisions that you would regret later. Even though it looks neat to be in a steady relationship it may just bog you down later on.

Answer 6

Get over thinking that just because you and someone from the opposite sex have a couple of dates you have a "relationship" and that you "love" each other. It is very unlikely that it is love and if it becomes sexual too soon can wind up messing up a couple of young lives. Just be friends, allow those friendships to grow and prosper, take the time to learn just WHO that other person is rather than expecting them to remain the fantasy you have of who they should be. Give yourself time to grow up and become the great person you are meant to be before you wind up being someone else's mother/father and regretting not allowing yourself that chance. Don't try to become a "grown up" too fast...believe me it's not fun being one.

Answer 7

Dignity and integrity never go out of style. You can have fun, do what you need to do but always with honesty and self-respect because the decisions you make today will carry over to your adult life.

Answer 8

Some day you will know all you think you know right now about life and people's behavior. For now just listen to experienced people that has taken their life to success and happiness.

Answer 9

hey um im a teen.. and it will help a lot if u dont critisize teens a lot a tel them that u undrstand and let them know that they can talk to u ..its really hard if u talk to an adult about serious things and they just want to tell u how bad u r..BE THERE FOR THEM AND LISTEN

Answer 10

These days, there's too much pressure put on teens... too much stress can drag you down mentally, emotionally, physically... it can literally drain your strength!
Get all the GOOD you can out of life.

Answer 11

if you have to ask yourself if you should do something, then maybe you should not. Follow your heart. and if something feels wrong then it possible that it is. take time to be a teenager, these are the days you should enjoy. don't rush them. and lots of luck in your future!