Why won't my boyfriends stay with me?

Question

I'm currently 18, and looking to settle down. There's just one problem: none of my boyfriends ever stay with me past a few months! I'm flustered, and tired of the same old advice. I know I'm young, but I'm truly ready to find the right guy... the one I'll marry after I finnish my degree. My problem is, I feel worthless if I don't have something to work towards... and I can't 'just do it for me' becasue something about that seems so selfish. Most of the guys I've brought home are not "presentable" as far as my family is concerned; yet, if I bring home one that IS, he typically treats me horribly. I am a very insecure person , that I will freely admit... somehow I feel a lot more secure in my environment when I have someone there for me who isn't 'a friend'. Aside from insecurity, I'm a very sweet, loving, compassionate, and forgiving person (one of my b/fs cheated on me 6 times... and I was the 1 who got dumped.) If someone could tell me what I am doing wrong, I would appreciate that

Answer 1

18 yr old guys are not ready to settle down. Give them until their mid to late 20s.

Answer 2

I had looked for my soul-mate since I can remember. I mean, there I was, a 12-13 year old kid wondering when I'm going to find my significant other. Look. Keep your eyes open but don't be a pawn. You have to see with more than just your heart. Somebody may seem like they might be around for a while, but your instincts can lead you if you develop them. (and judging by your past you should be getting the hang of it.) Learn from your past. Think about when things went wrong. What were the signs? What did you miss? There is nothing wong with putting yourself out there. You just have get smarter about it. I commend you on not giving up.....on not shutting yourself off. Just be strong. Be smart. I wish you well. You are 18 dealing with the greatest of all mysteries......Love.
Just note.. i diddn't find my true Love until I was 34. (that's about a year ago )

Answer 3

Well for starters you can't be very forgiving, if your "b/fs" cheated on you 6 times, for two you need to be more out-going a little bit, for three if you think your b/fs are "presentable" to you then that's your oppion, and if your family thinks that they're not then that's their problem and they'll just have to deal with it. I should know cause my girlfriend did somewhat of the same thing to me, and I thought that she wouldn't do something like that but she did and I'm still not yet over the fact that she's going out with someone that I somewhat don't like, but I'm still trying to get over it. Look you don't have to take my advice if you don't want to, and if you don't that's fine with me.

Answer 4

be yourself, and why is the reason of your insecurity in the first place. ok you answer yourself and work on those weakness. i'm and ugly guy but let me tell you when i learned about the comfidense girls start looking at me, the relationships last longuer and then i was having so many girls interested on my that i was able to make a good choice and i marry my current wife and i have childrens and happily mrried. what you have to understand is that the components to keep a marriage are very hard. but you nobody is ready people get ready in the process un other words while they are married. if you need more advise e-mail me. good luck

Answer 5

You are being TOO sweet, loving, compassionate and forgiving. You are appearing TOO desperate. You need to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you. Concentrate on being yourself, and loving who you are. Don't worry about what people think. If you love yourself, you will appear more confident and then you will come over as a lady who knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. Men like to be the hunters, not the other way around. Play the song "I am what I am" and listen carefully to the words, and repeat them to yourself. "I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses........" - Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and do something about feeling good about yourself - Good luck

Answer 6

Your looking for something that is rare to find at your age level... A mature male that is looking for a long-term relationship, even if that is with a beautyfull woman... I'd really say look towards being single for a while, and finding a few good friends that will be able to develop into good relationships... but your insecuirty may help breed these relationships as they think they should step all over you...

Answer 7

You'll feel a lot more empowered and have a better life if you tackle your insecurities head on with some counselling or self help instead of band-aiding your unhappiness with some dude you makes you feel like you like yourself. Deal with your insecurities now, before they become habit and you lose your looks and become even more undesirable to someone with confidance.

Answer 8

I think the words Looking to settle down, would scare most people off. Try and be more free in your thinking. Have fun stay young.

Answer 9

around your age guys just want one thing. its hard but you'll find someone special soon enough, in the meantime *(just a bit of advice) do NOT spend time thinking if i open my legs maybe he'll love me, YEAH RIGHT that almost never works. stay sweet!

Answer 10

You answered your own question, your insecure. You need to learn you don't need anyone in your life to make you Happy, when you learn that, happiness and what you want in life will come.