Just need advice?

Question

I work 3rd shift in a Call Center booking vacations, and directions, do online school, i'm going to college pt to finish my cosmetology, i have 3 kids, married and a home. My children are 7, 6, and 4. When should i have time for me, I'm only 25, and sometimes feel overwhelmed with responsibilites. I don't want my family to think i getting away from them, i just need a break to sometimes.

Answer 1

Ha...... thats really something great abt u! U got three kids now, and u r working !! actually its difficult for a working women to look after her childrens when she is in Job.
remember u need not give up ur job for ur children, i think u may be working all the way for ur wards future..
try to nurture them always when u are with em! show ur love and affection as far as u can.. always have a hug with them keep them in ur laps when ur with them..
call to them atleast once when ur at work.. pass ur time beautifully with em, in the weak ends..
take vacations when ever it is necessary.. make ur kids understand ur situations...
thats it.. they will never feel as u taught!

Answer 2

Wow! Talk about filling every day full of minutes!

I would suggest you sit down with your husband and discuss the running of the household with him and tell him that you can't do it all on your own. Assuming that he is not helping out already that is. If he can take the kids to school or pick them up a few times a week, take them to the swimming pool on a Saturday morning to give you a couple of hours off for example that would help.

Another thing you could do is pack the kids off to the Grandparents for a long weekend, especially good if they livein a big house in the country. That way you and your husband can have some quality time together (and who knows number 4 might come along later!!)

Do remember though that you are still young at 25 and once you have finished school things should get a little less hectic. And it will all be worth it in the long run. Just give yourself some time every now and then to recharge or you'll burn yourself out which will do you, your family and your prospects more harm than good.

Talking to your family about how you feel and asking them all to help out is the first place to start. There is a saying "The family that plays together stays together" so get the kids involved in the running of the house and make it fun. Before you know it the 4 year old will be wanting to load the dishwasher or lay the table for dinner.

Good luck and remember although there is no I in Team you can find ME

Answer 3

Hmmm....ask this question again in 20 years. But before that, try lightening your own load a little, do things one at a time if they're getting too much, like suspending your online degree. Talk to your husband and reach a compromise. Whatever you do, don't neglect your kids, this is very important. I know you feel overwhelmed, especially since you're so young and already with three kids, but the fact is when you become a parent there is very little "me" time, you gave that up when you decided to have 1,2,3 kids!!! Now you have a responsibility to them, they didn't ask to be born after all. But look on the bright side, in about 2 decades they'll move out and you'll probably have so much free time you'll wish they were back.
Most importantly, talk to your family, maybe even YOUR parents, you'll be okay, and drink plenty of water, eat a lot of wheat, get your hubby to give you a massage one in a while, form a friendship with some fantastic person ( preferably female) and watch your favourite comedy at least twice a week. Don't worry, You'll be fine.

Answer 4

Jennifer, I only have one child, I'm a stay at home mom, and have already finished college but I know how you feel, I get overwhelmed too. We all need time for ourselves. You are a wonderful person, working and going to school are hard enough but throw in a family and the work just multiplies. Schedule a break, they don't happen by themselves. Do whatever you have to get "me" time. Your family will benefit, because when you're happy other people around you will feed off that happiness. Good luck and keep at it, you are on the right path by acknowledging you need a break. Take care and enjoy your time.

Answer 5

I know a girl in your same situation who goes to the gym for an hour a day. I think that you have to have time for you, even if it is only for a short time. Try carving out a few minutes of your day, lunch hour, break time, after work, and just do something you want to do. I think a little will go a long way. Maybe this year for christmas or your birthday or something like that you can ask for some of your friends or relatives to watch the kids for a bit instead of giving gifts. I knew someone who did this also, and not only did it give her a little much needed time to herself, it gave others time to hang out with her children and form bonds with them. Good luck, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Answer 6

Not only do you need time for your self you must find time, or you may have a break down. With everything you are doing you can see why that will happen. Find some time for yourself. One day a month or a few hours. YOU will be able to continue what you are doing. You can have it all, a family , school, and a job. Just keep making sure your family knows that they are most important. In time they will know it. Once they know that they will help give you the strength to go on.

Answer 7

GIve your kids your undivided attention when you first get home. The longer you wait, the more you'll pay. Just give them a good 30 minutes that is all about them and then take some time for yourself. If they get filled up with your attention from the beginning, they won't feel left out.
You can't be a good wife or mother if you're exhausted. More than that, you can't be so overloaded and overwhelmed that resentment sets in. You are your own person first.

Answer 8

Make time for yourself, there are week-end retreats, or a one day bus trip, or just someone to care for the children for a weekend , maybe send them all away for a week end to visit a relative or something. Explain that you need some "YOU" time. and if you do nothing but read a book, soak in the tub or lay on the beach, let it be for U. When you come in tell everyone it's U-TIME and go into a room for 1 hour, and explain that you can have no disturbance for that hour, it works, I have been doing it for years.

Answer 9

I think that is normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes, in anyone's life. My suggestion is make a list of your favorite activities....and choose one that you want to do. See if you can carve out 4-6 hours and go and do it, however you want. Alone, with girlfriends or husband. I know that sometimes, just being able to send the kids out with your husband so that you can laze about the house with no obligations for a few hours can also do the trick. Or just go window shopping or meet a friend for lunch. Just present in it in a positive light....not "I need to get away from you..." more "Can you do me a favor and hang with the kids...." Tell him you will do the same for him next weekend....make it a fun compromise. :)

Answer 10

Have you talked to your husband yet? Ask him to take off work (if he works) and watch the kids for a day. Then just do what YOU want for a day. Everybody needs a break. I may only be 16, but I can see that my own mom needs a break sometimes. You all deserve it. As mothers, you have more responsibilities than anyone. And you can't fufill them if you're dead tired from all the work you do. Just take a break. Hope this helps!!