I fell in love with this girl at first sight. I have know her now for several years. She is constantly confiding in me how miserable she is in her marriage. She married him out of guilt by her parents. She wanted to call the wedding off, but she did not want to cause problems. (SHE IS THAT SWEET), but now what do I do. I am always on watch in my answers and advice to her, so as not to use what she has told me to my advantage. This is VERY HARD. She will not leave him unless his get physical or cheats on her. He won't either he is a wimpy nerd. Should I tell her how I feel or just keep doing the (what I think is) the right thing and let her figure out what to do and I just support her? . I could never take advantage of her. My biggest fear would be if she did leave him and we did become an item, I would always wonder if it was because I used what i knew to get her. WHAT TO DO LADIES?
2006-07-29 18:04:40 · 10 answers · asked by cachoundog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS ALONG, I GLAD YOU ARE A FRIEND BUT TELLING HER WILL ONLY BE PROBLEMS
AS FOR HER MARRIAGE, SHE THE ONLY ONE THAT
CAN MAKE THAT DECISION. AND YOU DONT WONT BE
THE CAUSE OF IT.
2006-07-29 18:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww this is so sweet! However, I disagree that she was being sweet by marring him! She is only betraying the man she married by not loving him. This is why divorce rate is 51%! People do not need to get married unless they truly love the other. Back to answering your question. You should just keep being there for her Please don't tell her how you feel because like you said you would always wonder. Let things take the natural course and if you were meant to be with her you will be in the end! Kepp your kewl and be her friend. You are a sweet and great guy!
2006-07-30 01:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by Carleyheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she did not call the wedding of because she is so sweet - she didn't call the wedding of because she is codependent. She won't leave him because she is codependent - even if he cheats right in front of her she won't leave. And even if he smacks her all around a public place, she won't leave him because she is codependent. And all this WILL happen to her in some form - either psycically or physically - because she is codependent.
Codependents also have trouble with being honest about their feelings. Now that you know she is codependent, what do you think YOUR problem is?
2006-07-30 01:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by LaineeTheCat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's not that she went through with the marriage because she was sweet. She did it because she's weak.
If you truly care for her, you have to tell her that she has to do everything in her power to make her marriage work, or she must get up the courage to leave, because frankly, confiding her misery in you is wrong. She's dedicating energy and emotion to you that belongs to her husband. As long as she has you to vent to, she'll make no effort to get out of the rut she's in, one way or another.
2006-07-30 01:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i see what ur problem is...ur in love, but the gurl is taken...right. ok, well he is the solution...tell her that if she is desperately not happy, that she needs to settle it with her husband. and if by some stroke of luck they happen to get a divorce, console her and tell her how u feel, but not until after the divorce, because no offense buddy, she is TAKEN, no matter how unhappy she is. i do want u to get the girl in the end, don't get me wrong, i really want u to. but she made that decision to marry him (even though she did it to make everyone concerned happy, and btw...that really is sweet) and now she has to live with it. bottom line...keep ur feelings to urself until the divorce (if any) is finished. GOOD LUCK cuz i hope she ends up with u.
2006-07-30 01:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by Joe'z 1st luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your feelings to yourself. This is a decision she has to make on her own and you are right, you would always wonder if you took advantage if you said something before she's single.
2006-07-30 01:09:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest with you. from my heart, i think you should tell her, and be completely honest. If she loves you back, then she needs to get out of the relationship she is in...it sounds like all she needs is a bit of extra incentive to make her leave this loser, but make sure you don't come off as pushy. Just tell her, and see what happens.
2006-07-30 01:10:47 · answer #7 · answered by !!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just tell her that if she does not love him its not doing her any justice by staying she will always be unhappy. also you should be honest with her how you feel i no its risky and it may come in between you guys but she should no how you feel other wise your doing her a injustice not to mention yourself. i no its a risk to take but maybe it will pay off in the end. good luck to you
2006-07-30 01:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may want to tel her but also if you do make sure she nows you dont want them to break up and you would never let her cheet with you,but then you may not want to tell her because it could wiard out the friendship tel her to do what she wants and dont do something that dosent make her happy shes only ganna live once.
2006-08-04 13:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by shoppergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit back and do what is right then if she makes the decidion to leave on her own then make your move.
2006-07-30 01:09:45 · answer #10 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋