Why am i treated poorly,and looked down upon for not wanting to be a mother? Why should I have to want kids?

Question

Why should I have to give up my future? Why should i give up my life. Men dont have to , why should i have to?

Answer 1

Who would tell you this? I admire you for realizing BEFORE you have kids that you don't want them. Our society did a number on us with this kid thing. You are nothing and you are not complete without a husband and a bunch of kids. YES, you are something, you are intelligent and you know yourself.You shouldn't give up your life.

Here is a cute story for you. I have three adult kids. One son and one daughter are married and have kids. My other daughter is 38. She has a full, happy life. She has never married and never had kids. Her brother called her selfish once when she refused to baby sit his three kids. She said, "I chose not to have children, don't try and make me feel guilty when you need a sitter. You had them, you take care of them!" She just does not like or want kids.
There would not be the problem we have with abused children if people would quit having unwanted kids. They think it is their duty to reproduce...........
Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad. They are jealous because they are stuck with kids and you are not. You know that old saying, "misery loves company?"
DO NOT GIVE IN..........GOOD LUCK TO YOU

I have to add one more thing. Look at the people that have careers and kids. Who is raising those kids? Day care people are raising those kids. They have them more than the parents do. I also say if you want kids, be prepared to stay home and train them and guide them, at least until they start school. It makes me physically sick when I see these mothers taking four or five WEEK old infants to a care giver. Total disgust. Then they have the nerve to tell you what to do? Give me a break.

"PACIFIST" !!!!!! You cannot be serious?! Are you married? I cannot believe there is a person on this planet that could tolerate you. This is an ugly joke, right?????

Answer 2

Society likes to perpetuate itself, so there's some unsaid obligation for women, the ones that create children, to do so. There's no official obligation, and if you don't want to have kids, don't. People may look down upon you because that's the nature of the society, but that's just how things are: it's virtually impossible to change the minds of everyone in the country/society/wherever so it's an unfortunate consequence of "Going against the flow"

Good luck to you: The world is overpopulated enough as is. We just need to figure out how to redistribute the people that currently exist so as to maximize productivity, instead of bring a bunch of more kids into the world. There's sort of this elitism that comes with a society of disliking adopting from abroad because it's not "made in the USA." So there goes my redistribution idea... oh well...

Answer 3

In my opinion, if you do not want kids, and someone will make you have kids, both yours and the kids' lives will be a nightmare.

You have to really want to have kids to enjoy the process of motherhood.

No one can force it on you. THere are enough kids in the world who are terribly unhappy. There is no need for one more.

You will be miserable if you allow yourself to get talked into it.

Dont hurt one more child and your self. Try and live a healthy life and if in the future you want a kid, then you can always change your mind. So dear, make the right decisions. Having a child is not like buying a dress. YOu cannot return it.

Answer 4

We're all entitled to live the life we choose. . .

You don't want kids? That's fine, you're not the only women in the world to have the same desire.

Planning on having sex? Get those tubes tied now!

I'm sure cold shoulders are often turned on you because of your decision. You can't worry about someone else's opinion of you. This is your personal choice-on that will probably be most beneficial to you.

Answer 5

I know it can be difficult, but don't listen to them. There are so many women who do not want children and end up having them and the children are the ones who suffer. No woman who doesn't want children should have them. It's not just a matter of choice. It's a matter of responsibility.

I don't want children. I love children and the maternal instincts I have are to love and help teach my friends' children and (hopefully I can do this one day to some degree) is to take care of the children in the world who do not have parents, are sick or are living in very poor conditions. I do not have the desire to have my own.

Make your own choices as you are the one who has to live with them. If ever you change your mind then that's fine. If you don't, then that's fine to.

Answer 6

You don't have to want kids, and if you don't want them you don't need them. No-one knows what you want better than YOU do. Who is treating you poorly just because you don't want children? Just tell them that you are not ready for children right now and you may never be, but if you ever do decide to have children, they will be the first to know.

Answer 7

If this is because of your religon, then remember the christianity clearly stated FREE AGENCY. You can choose weather or not to have children, it's totaly your choice, and if anyone is pressuring you to then tell them to jump off a cliff, they don't control your life.

My former religon pressured young girls into getting married and serving there husbands for all eternity, it was sick, all they did at camp where activities that taught how to manage a household while the boys were out hunting or bungy jumping.

They expected you to have at least 4 children. I dispised it, they were going against the law of free agency so I left the religon. I choose not to have children and I'm happy, with my studies I'm better off that way anyway.

Sexist idiots these days

Answer 8

I don't think you should have to have kids. And frankly, with the population in the world the way it is, I wish more people had the same thought.

It's your life, your decision and your body. Don't let people tell you what to do with them. I f you have things to do, and places to go....do that.

It's a smart person who knows what they want and sticks with it. What if you let yourself be pressured into having children, and then ended up resenting them? Not fair to you or them.

You're going to get hit by a lot of folks here who will tell you it's your place to have children. Just remember your place is where you make it.

Answer 9

My dear lady, I am sorry to say that human nature can be fickle.
You didn't specify which people were looking down on you.
If it is parents, it could just be their longing to see little grandchildren scampering around and that truly is human nature at its best. But, they should be willing to temper their need for grand-kids with some of the same free will that God gave them in choosing to marry or not to marry. To have children or not. It gives me joy to see my grandchildren maybe because I see a bit of my parents in them and realize that even though my parents are now gone to their rest, a Little bit of them lives on the grandkids and perhaps one day they too will have grandkids, but that is not for me to say.

Not everyone has the correct mindset to have children and there are people having children who should be sent to prison because they abuse or neglect the children they have.

If anyone tells you they think you should have children, tell them, "When I start telling you which clothes to wear, and where to live, you can tell me to have children."

And it doesn't matter if they are family or friends. Look them straight in the eye and make them uncomfortable that they are trying to tell you how to live your life.

Answer 10

I personally love having children.It's not for everyone!Are you really close to the people who think you "should be a mother?"I can understand someone like your own mom being disappointed to realize no grandchildren from you.(Even if you have siblings with kids it's not the same.)But,try not to worry so much what others think.I know it's easier said than done.It's your life as you said.Keep your head up and remember you make your choices in life.Good Luck!♥

Answer 11

Honestly right now it sounds like you're crying, I'm really sorry. People need to learn how to accept what you want, they have absolutely no right telling you what you should do. It's you're life, if you don't want children then don't have children. Just because you don't want children doesn't mean you should give up on men either, most men want children but not every man wants one. Good Luck to you!