Okay, I'm really shy when it comes to guys. I don't know what to say or do and I don't even know how to flirt. Hell, most of the time, I don't even know if a guy is even flirting with me, until it's too late. Any suggestions?
P.S. I want serious answers, so please, no jokes or rude comments. Oh, and if any of you ladies out there have any suggestions, please feel free to enter your thoughts.
2006-07-29 17:57:06 · 13 answers · asked by hpotter4ever2000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Shyness sucks doesn't it? I used to be shy myself, but I overcame it. It's not easy, but you can do it.
First off, brush up on your social skills. I don't mean this in a rude way, but seriously, learn how to communicate. There is a book called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine that has alot of insightful suggestions on how to bridge that gap in conversation when meeting new people.
Second, learn body language. There are LOTS of books out there that talk about body language in reference to dating, professional situations, etc. If you can read body language, then your over halfway there....that is where someone is REALLY telling you the truth, not always with the words. Study up on that, and that'll help.
Third, learn to accept yourself for who you are. Many times our shyness comes from our own insecurities..."I can't talk to them, I'll look like a dork" or "They'll never want to talk to me", etc. This has to do with your self confidence. Learn to look in the mirror and ACCEPT who you are. We are all our own worst critics. Chances are your a sweet, wonderful beautiful person and there is someone out there who will see it. Learn to recognize it yourself and you'll start to gain the confidence to meet people.
I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, feel free to PM.
2006-07-29 18:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by chalis913 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem highly intelligent, which is a blessing, but it also means you probably over-analyze the inherent illogic in inter-personal relationships, particularly as you've observed them amongst your peers. At the same time, however, you're wondering now if you aren't missing something...a nagging doubt that started out as a whisper, but which is rapidly growing into a shout. This is only an opinion, mind you, but I suspect you're fine, and very much on target. You've put your energies into intellectual pursuits, so other social aspects of your personality have developed slower...but they're still there, and completely in tact, and as you relax and become more comfortable in your own skin, all of these things will fall into place...just don't feel compelled to try anything drastic or out of character for yourself.There is no one on earth more qualified to be you than you. You're exactly who you need to be, and you're just the way God created you. He doesn't make mistakes.
2006-07-29 18:11:09 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is most men and women are completely inept when it comes to meeting each other.
Understand that for all normal guys, shyness does not matter. No man will think any less of you for being shy in any manner. The problem here has to do with the restrictions normal guys put on their behavior. A man tends to not be overt with you unless he knows you like him. But, if he knows you like him, we are conditioned to initiate everything.
The solution to your problem is to be upfront and honest whenever you are with a guy. Practice in front of a mirror saying the following, "Hi." "I like you." "But it's really hard for me to talk to you because I'm very shy."
You know you have chosen the right guy when he gets this sympathetic look on his face and then works very hard to make you feel comfortable and talks with you in a way designed to get to know you better.
The important thing to know here is men and women are VERY different with regard to this. A shy man is unattractive. But, a shy woman, if anything, is MORE attractive. It naturally brings out a part of a man that compensates for this.
2006-07-29 18:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My motto is "fake it til you make it". So even if you are really insecure and not very confident, just pretend that you are. And if you do this long enough you will start to believe it. And guys like confident and aggressive women. You should also try being more affectionate because guys like that. Again, if this does not come naturally just "fake it".
2006-07-29 18:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Mojo Rising 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself, find out what the guys interests are? music,sports, etc.
as for flirting, if a guy smiles at you, makes eye contact and stuff cool. ask the girls on how to flirt
2006-07-29 18:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
glad to answer this.... you need to be forward, even nearing the point of being rude. men will take action if given the opportunity.....ANY opportunity...its men who have the hard time with this in most cases. Just be open and the man will *** in.
2006-07-29 18:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by SKYE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i ask a girl out i gave her a note because then i knew that i had at least a 50 50 chance of a yes than not knowing if he liked me at all
2006-07-29 18:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by austin, austin k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
test the waters out first, and if you get a good vibe from the guy, you should try coming on strong towards him and see if he tries to make a move.
2006-07-29 18:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be your self and talk like the way you would to friends sry im not a girl so ive never delt with that befor but i hope this will help.
2006-07-29 18:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at him alot and pay more attention then normal thats what all the girls that flirt with me do. but do not pay so much attention that you look desperate.
2006-07-29 18:23:22 · answer #10 · answered by trayvisy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋