How do you know when abusive is TOO abusive?

Question

I live with my grandmother and mom. My grandma does things like raps her hands around my shirt and pulls me across the living room and throws me into my room and locks the door. Another I knocked over a chair and she pushed me down and made me pick it up then pulled me up by my hair. Several other times she's slapped me.. Is this TOO abusive?

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Any abuse is too much, but I'm wondering what happened before these events. You actions might not be angelic. I suspect there's much more to the story.

Actually, a friend in Child Services told me that parents CAN spank a child as long as after 20 minutes there is no mark. So with that definition I'm not sure that your Grandmother's behavior qualifies. But if it's her house and you're not pulling your weight, or staying out late, or being disrespectful or any other undesirable behaviors, then Grandma might just be a no-nonsense woman.

I'd really have to know more about the situation to be able to determine if this is really an abusive situation.

I do wish you well none-the-less.

Answer 3

any kind of abusive is TOO ABUSIVE. You need to inform your mom about this and see if she can't help the situation a little. If she doesn't help, move. Go live with someone else. You might be scared or don't know where to go, but tell somebody you trust and something will work out and you will be happy and alright again.
What your grandma is doing is NOT RIGHT. GET HELP. TELL SOMEBODY.

If you are scared to tell someone you know, walk to the nearest church and walk in and say that you'd like to speak with an available pastor, and tell them the whole story. These lovely men and women only want what is best for you and will do anything in their power to help you, even if you are not or never plan on being a Christian. They love you and will help you.

God bless. Know that I love you and wish the best for you. My prayers will be with you.

Answer 4

There is no such thing as TOO abusive. Abuse is abuse. Is your mother aware she does this to you? I wouldn't be surprised if your mother sees her doing this to you that she doesn't do anything because you grandmother probably did the same thing to her growing up and she thinks it is normal. You need to tell someone like a school counselor or teacher (I am assuming you are young) and perhaps your grandmother can receive help for her dysfunctional abusive behavior. A grown woman should never push or throw a youngster around.

Answer 5

Yes. Grandmothers should be kind to their grandchildren. Knocking over a chair is a very minimal thing. I could understand if you were using drugs or drinking and being a total nuisance could call for disciplinary action, but there is no reason to fly off the handle like she does with the examples you provided.

Answer 6

You did not disclose what kinds of things you are doing to cause your Gramdmother to react the way she is.

Having said that, unless you are doing something really extreme and awful, being pulled by the hair, being thrown into a room, being pushed down to the floor, yes that is TOO abusive.

Answer 7

That's just grandma being grandma, when I was a kid I got tossed around plenty, kids these days are very dramatic. When I went to school and acted the goat ,I got swatted in front of the class, cant do that stuff any more , too bad, the whining generation of today will suffer from the undisciplined mentality.

Answer 8

Any amount of Abuse, is too much Abuse.
You need talk to someone, like a teacher that you trust, or the school physiologist.
Don't be afraid to tell someone else, what you are going through.
Ask at school if there is an outreach program, or ask them to refer you to a social worker.
Sharing your feelings with a professional, is a good first step.
Take the first step, you owe it to yourself.

Good Luck

Answer 9

Any amount of abuse is too much. You need to tell someone you trust that your grandmother is abusing you. If you can't talk to your mother, talk to another adult family member, your doctor, a teacher, or a friends parent. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

Answer 10

Any abuse is too much abuse, and your mom is scum for not protecting you.

Get out of that house. Talk to an adult you trust: neighbor, other relative, pastor. If you don't have anyone, call the number for child protective services, or just call the police. You deserve better, and if your mother won't protect you, you have to protect yourself. Good luck.

Answer 11

oh sweetie am so sorry u r going through this any abusive is too much. plz tell someone u can trust and get out of there. u r not safe (not trying to scare u but u need help)