Well i am a new mom 1st time and my husband works mid-nights so he sleeps all day and works all night...i have tried to ask him to get a day job but he refuses do you think its because he just doesnt want to deal with her... he says its because mid-nights make more money but we arent straped for cash so i dont see the big deal with getting a day job but he sure does...How can i convice him to get a day job?
2006-07-29 17:52:23 · 12 answers · asked by ProudNewMommy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
well my daughter is 3 weeks old and it just feels like i am a single mother so i just want him to be there sometimes..yea i know hes working for us but hes makes 28 dollars an hour on mid-nights and it would be 25 on days...no i dont have a job he doesnt want her to be in day care so i stay at home with her....
2006-07-29 18:15:58 · update #1
Hi Proud, you certainly didn't climb on top of yourself and get pregnant. This was a joint decision between to people that genuinely love each other, to bring a child into the world. Therefore, it takes the both of you to parent. Express your concerns with him at a time that is convenient for both of you to sit down and talk without any distractions. Let your husband know exactly how you feel. Tell him that you would like for him to be more involved in his daughter's life, and that you too would like to spend time with him during the day. Request that he please try and find a position during the day that will allow him to balance his work and family life. Also, I don't know if you are, but I think you can find great support through a new mommy group. Your local hospital may have one, I know mind did. Those are so helpful to go to and just vent. I'm on your side, my hubby too had to adjust his hectic schedule and travel. And he should, he's now a "parent."
2006-07-29 18:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by adjoadjo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well.....
You are both correct, but he is more correct.
If you are strapped for cash now, it will be even worse if he takes a day job.
My Wife and I had to do something similar.
My Wife went to work the midnight shift for the 15% extra money.
I was Mr. Mom all night.
No problem for me.
When my Wife came home around 8:20, I went on to work my day job.
She was Mom during the day.
We took our sleep when our baby slept.
It was hard on both of Us, but we would do it all again.
Good Luck.
BTW: Do you have a day job?
If not, then stop complaining so much and realize that your Husband is under stress also, and hopefully doing his best to provide as much money as he can earn.
2006-07-30 01:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by manofadvntr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you want him to get a day job? How old is your child? Early on, it's really a mom/baby thing, tho daddy's so important. He's really need much more later on, say after age 2. Many dads are reluctant to be around babies and toddlers because they feel very ineffectual around them. You could help him by encouraging him to care for her when you are there and not criticizing how he does something (unless it's abusive.) This takes months, but that's okay. Unless your husband is emotionally disturbed, the day is not too far off when you are just mom but daddy is her prince.
2006-07-30 01:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't! do you work? if staying at home is your job then let him keep his job, you might not think yall need the extra money but he does, are you scare to be with the baby at night while he's at work? he's there in the day time so i would just tell him that he needs to help out with the baby and you knows that he has to work at night but he doesn't have to sleep all day, his child needs to know her father when he's woke not sleep, so just try to be understanding with his feelings too because he's looking out for the best for you and your baby good luck
2006-07-30 01:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by ti'lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he likes the job he has now. I would hate to see your husband resent you if he felt that he had to give his job up that he likes to make you happy. If this is the only problem you have with your husband you are a very lucky woman. Congratulations on your new baby girl.
2006-07-30 01:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by hollywood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be very hard or impossible to make him switch shifts. he may not be ready to take on the baby he may be a little scared and unprepared. Or just isnt ready to be a daddy. I dont know the circumstances so i really cant tell ya. Just keep asking is all i can tell you. Best Of Luck
2006-07-30 00:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by jessica r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Help him look for a new job online and in the paper classifieds. Also tell him how much more of a bond he will develop with his daughter once he is at home with her more.
2006-07-30 01:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee I think its rough on him when he comes home during the day and want to get some sleep.Just have your baby daughter keep him awake during the day then.
2006-07-30 00:57:36 · answer #8 · answered by Joe P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your child grows and develops and he finds out what he missed or is missing, he'll come around if he is any kind of father figure at all.........Isn't it funny how money can rule some, but not others???????Sounds to me like the almighty dollar has him by the balls...........Sorry to put it that way, but maybe if he reads this he'll wake up...........Take care, my dear............
2006-07-30 00:58:16 · answer #9 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't....that's decision he needs to make.....soon he'll want to be around when the baby is awake and play with her at the play park and outside as she gets older.....so, let him see what he's missing and soon he will adjust just to be around his family....including you! He's got to realize sooner or later that his schedule is not conducive to good marital relations......let him think it was his idea and when he does switch to days....reward him with lots of nooky!
2006-07-30 00:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋