Please help me! My brother is a junior in high school this year, and he is having some serious problems. He's addicted to computer games, especially violent war games, and plays them non-stop. He won't read the books required for school during the summer either. I've tried many times unsuccessfully to get him to read and be active, but he just laughs me off. I don't think he does much exercise (he swims occasionally though), and he eats quite a bit of junk food. He is also VERY overconfident with his schoolwork, saying that he "flew by sophmore year with an 85", yet I know for a fact that he was failing 2 courses, and struggling with the rest. He doesn't have many friends, and one of his only friends has changed schools. Please help me, I really don't know what to do!!!
(You can also e-mail me with suggestions at bounce1150@yahoo.com)
2006-07-29 17:47:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sounds to me like you need to restrict his use of the computer games. use the games as an incentive. put a password he can't figure out on the computer and make sure he doesn't get to play until he does his school work. also, see if there is a kid in the neighborhood with "outdoorsy" habits. take both and a bunch of friends out to a park or someplace, and keep them there all day. they'll find a way to have fun, and if you do that a few times, he may develop a healthy habit of going out to play sometimes.
if you restrict the use of the computer games, he'll be bored and make sure you know it for a while (probably mad too), but he will find other ways to keep busy. just see to it it's not sitting in front of the TV.
(ooops, you're the brother. pass these ideas along to your parents)
2006-07-29 17:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can do several things. Try getting him into some kind of raggedy job like McDonald's or something. That can help him on his perspective of what his future will be with no education.
2...Lure him w/ something he really likes. Offer him incentives for making good grades. i.e. new games
3...You could consistently BEAT HIS @$$
4...Take away all of his games, hide all of the snacks he loves so much. If your the provider of junk food, that should be pretty easy.
5...Last but not least, make his life a living hell. Being that this is a younger sibling. More than likely, he will need you before you need him. I wouldn't do a damn thing for him. No rides anywhere, no cash loans, don't give him any messages from missed phone calls, basically shun him to the point that he knows his lazy ways will come to affect your relationship.
6...If that doesn't work, refer to 3...
2006-07-29 18:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by R. O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone who plays so much of computer games cannot obviously concentrate on books.
Seems being the younger one he has just received pampering and no boundaries that has turned him into a brat, thats all.
So, someone will have to set boundaries on him, as he hasn't learnt to do it for himself. Discipline is as much important part of parenting as love and respect are, otherwise we would turn into anarchist teenagers.
Plus grades are not a sign of emotional well being of a person his interpersonal relationships are, his overeating might be a sign over sensitivity which he is trying to muffle up through food.
May be he needs more attention from your parents and you, someone who would be around for him so that he doesn't try to get lost in the virtual world of computer when he doesn't find real life as interesting.
Take him out with you to sport activities get involved in his life, and soon he will discover that he is cared for and not feel so lost.
What he needs a friend in his family who will guide him too.
2006-07-29 18:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he likes games so much, take him to places to get games. Take him to places where he can play networked games. Get him out of the house!
If he wants to keep playing games, he will soon have to pay for them. Good luck with no diploma. And nothing STINKS worse than repeating a grade in high school!
Encourage him to get a part time job, too. He'll need money for dates. Even your brother can't argue with that logic.
2006-08-02 04:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by John K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a lot like my son! Sad to say, this is really not uncommon for a lot of kids.
You don't mention how old you are but it is very good that you are concerned about him.
Where are your parents in all of this? Are they complaining, arguing, trying to work with him?
I wonder if there is something else going on. Is he depressed?
There are a lot of things that might be happening, but the truth is that without your parents push to see what is going on, things may not change. Maybe it is time for him to see a counselor or a life coach.
2006-07-29 17:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by Meira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good sibling! Unfortunately, I think your brother is the only one who can get him motivated. Sadly, your brother sounds pretty average. You have every right to be alarmed as obesity epidemic in the US.
Maybe your family can go out on the weekend or your parents can limit your brother's screen time?
Have a look at this website:
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/learn-it/screen-time.htm
this one is linked from above:
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/live-it/screen-time.htm
2006-07-29 17:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by KathyMieko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get more members of your family to help you.
2006-07-29 17:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he 'just laughs you off' it means he doesn't see this as a problem nor you as very convincing. if he ever thinks he has a problem here, recommend self-esteem work.
http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html
2006-07-29 18:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by jimrich 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋