I ended up in a booty call situation with this guy and now I love him. He knows how I feel and he already told me he doesn't feel the same way. The problem is that I was able to stop having sex with him and not call him once, but he came back after me and started telling me what I wanted to hear and taking me out, and it worked I fell for it. It's been a year since that happened and a year and a half since the situation began. Now I am back in the booty call situation and I can't say no again. I've tried and he just sweet talks me. I can fight myself, but how do I fight him to? I moved, changed my phone number, I even told him to leave me alone if he can't give me what I want and he does for a little while and then it starts all over again. I try dating other men, but it messes up everything.
2006-07-29 17:17:48 · 17 answers · asked by guiltyinnosense 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have no idea how old you are, or how may relationships you have been in, but I suspect I'm a lot older than you, and I'll tell you that experience is an excellent teacher. I've learned that if I keep doing the same things over and over, and I expect different results, then I'm in the wrong. I have to present myself in the way I want it to be. I am responsible for my actions, not for others actions.
You asked what I would do-so here it is. And I suggest it only because it worked well for me. List the things you want out of a relationship. List what you don't want. Look at what you have with him. Decide if it is what you want. If it is, continue as it is, or tell him what you must have and if hasn't been able to do it up to now with your asking him over a year, do not expect him to change.
Do not get involved with another for a year. (I stopped being involved for 5 years, so I know you can for a year)
Use this time to grow personally. Enjoy yourself. You do not need a man to have fun.
I also realize I've substituted the word love for lust.(Sexual desire) A relationship based on lust is not enough for me.
If it is not what you want, end it.
If you stop putting out, he will stop chasing you for sex.I must admit, I like the chase as much as you do. It is exciting to have someone want you. The problem I've had with it is I usually am enticed by the bad boys for sex, and there is no chance of a committed relationship because they are usually incapable, they are only looking for sex.
I want more that that. I think you do too. Respect yourself.
2006-07-29 17:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by sheskiistoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need a restraining order..then you are going to have to move on. Booty Call situations are bad news its two people basically using each other for sex and things can get complicated once feelings get involved. He has more game than Parker Brothers and he is going to continue to manipulate you because you let him. You need to cut him off----straight cold turkey. Change your number again, go dating. Keep busy to keep your mind off of him. Trust me I know all about this. You have to be firm in telling him no...if he tries to weasel back in your life. You have to be strong that's the only way to be able to get over him. Think about it this way..he has no respect for you if he continues to deny your request for him to leave you alone. And Also no good-bye sex either. Just do it!!! If you need more advice email me!!! I help you through it.
2006-07-29 17:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by skyblu513 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell that you are much more than a booty call. You deserve better treatment.
Do not let anyone whine, wheedle, beg, cajole, or pressure you into doing things that you do not want to do. You are in charge of your body and your mind. You will feel much better about yourself if you take charge of yourself and make the choices that are good for you.
Be strong. Be safe. Be well.
2006-07-29 17:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused on how you can have such strong feelings for a guy who just uses you for sex. He sounds like a total jerk and probably has a dozen other girls in his lil black booty call book. Maybe you should get some counseling in order to gain strength and develope enough self esteem to tell him to piss off.
2006-07-29 17:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by kel_kat28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I serioius suggest a tiny bit of theorpy. Just maybe a month or 2. If that don't work and things get bad then move far away.
2006-07-29 17:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to sweet talk. You know what you want so go for that. As long as you go against those things, things will likely remain of messed up quality. And that is none of what you want, or...?
2006-07-29 17:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by groovusy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta be stronger. You gotta stop the urges everytime he calls. Next time he calls think of all the pain you suffered afterwards. Think of all the negative things about it all the problems you had. That should help suppress your urges.
2006-07-29 17:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop answering the phone for that fool and you just messed yoself up cause u gave up the goods to soon. and if it really buggs u get a restraining order but if you kno he crazy u need to get one of yur kinfolk to tell to leave you alone
2006-07-29 17:37:11 · answer #8 · answered by b_cool032692_cb4ever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say tell him that if he doesn't respect your wishes you'll slap a restraining order on him. he sounds like a stalker of some kind.
o.... and if he doesn't back off, slap a restraining order on him. and make sure he gets arrested if he violates it.
2006-07-29 17:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt just TELL him to leave u alone.. kik him where it HURTS and make sure he feels it!! listen, i got my BAT once.. i still have it btw..i got it and beat the hell out of this guy who WANTED sex from me but i kept sayin no..he wouldnt leave me alone..so i used my bat on his *** and he hasnt spoke to me since..
2006-07-29 17:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by CourTn3y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋