i was with a man for three years (tom*) he raised my son as his(from the time i was eleven weeks pregnant to current three years old) because his father(mike*) was not always there for him we split up about a year ago he moved back in with his mother and i got pregnant again by my son's father and once again tom* is raising my daughter as his because mike* wants nothing to do with her. tom* now lives with us but "we are not together" we sleep in the same bed, we have sex, we do family things his family considers me and my kids family and so on .. i know tom* was seeing someone in the past and sleeping with other girls in the past but he thinks its ok b/c "were not together" he does not help with the bills but he is an excellent dad to my kids and a best friend to me and i still love him but i can't deal with him being with other people when he feels likeit! i have even caught him on the internet trying to meet people. should i continue to play house and try to deal with it or what?
2006-07-29 16:49:20 · 7 answers · asked by tabbycat02 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You can love whoever you want honey, just cuz he may not love you, your heart wants what it wants and thats just the way it is. maybe one day he'll wake up and see what hes missin on, maybe you should kick him out and see if he realizes how much he needs you and that you have given him something no one else has (his kids) and maybe the time away will help him wake up. hope this helps
2006-07-29 16:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♫§weetTart§amantha♫♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, well this sounds like a man who wants to have his cake and eat it too.
He's manipulating you and taking advantage of your feelings for him. Now, if you can eventually learn to deal with the fact that you are being used then so be it. Take your own partners; play the same game.However, if this is not you, and I suspect it is not, you need to get shot of him. He is of no financial help, you're not tied together in any way, and he is standing in the way of your happiness. As long as he is in your house, in your bed, you will not find a true, lasting, happy relationship with anyone else. Have more pride in yourself and take your future into your own hands. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to break free. Stop all sexual activity with this man, nip all affection in the bud, get him out of your house. There's no reason why he can't still be a Dad to your kids or a friend to you, but right now, if he knows how you feel, he's not being a friend at all.
2006-07-30 00:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by Bapboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay why are u going back to ur ex? do u still love ur ex? why didnt u have protected sex if u were gonna mess with ur ex and ur not even with him anymore...tom needs to do more than just be an excellent dad, an excellent dad supports his kids and everything else they need. not just watch him. just cause ur having these babies dont mean he can just be a babysitter and u go work and pay bills while he goes and messes with other women. what if u did that while u are in the same house yet not together i dont think he will like that...u are letting him have the best of it. keep ur legs closed. ur a mother a grown up woman there is no time for playhouse, especially for him, tell him to get a job or leave, u are doing it urself u dont need him. why are u hurting urself?? either be with him or leave him.
2006-07-29 23:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by yahoo2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you sit down and have a long talk with Tommy Boy and tell him how you feel...and that you two have to make some kind of comittment or split up. You can't move on if neither one of you are serious and it will end up hurting your kids in the long run. Maybe Tom needs a room of his own and start paying part of the rent if he wants to be roommates. And if so, stop sleeping with him. come on, you brought this on yourself. Now be mature to deal with it. Good Luck.
2006-07-30 00:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you living and sleeping with this man you are not married to? What kind of role model do you think you are to these kids? How are you going to feel when they start sleeping around with whomever they want? Where do you think they are learning that this behavior is normal? E-gad! What is wrong with you people? Have all your morals gone right out the window?
2006-07-30 00:12:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your the type of person who does not learn the first time from their mistakes; and with children involved now it's not fair to them having people in and out of their life all the time. You need to go on birth control, get your life straightened out (children and you only). Then when your children's lives as well as your own are settled then start dating. Not letting anyone or another man live with you. That's irresponsible parenting. Your children should be your main focus, not yourself or another man. The children need stability now.
2006-07-29 23:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by GTO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not no but "hell no"
2006-07-30 00:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋