I was dating a guy for 2 years. He knew from the start that I had kids, and was OK with it. About a year and a half into the relationship, one of my daughters said something to him that, "Hurt his feelings", and he decided he did not want to be around my kids anymore. I thought maybe he was just upset and needed a little time to cool off, but as time went on, he was adamnet that if I was coming over or we were supposed to be going somewhere, I couldn't bring the kids. MY KIDS COME FIRST, so I tried to explain to him that kids are going to say things, but as an adult you have to work it out, and that he knew I had kids from the beginning. I also explained to him that even though I REALLY liked him that I was not willing to slight my kids for him or any other man. He remained solid that he did not want to be involved with my girls, so I did the only thing I could do, I broke up with him. That was about 3 years ago, and because we went through a lot when we were together we still
2006-07-29 16:11:07 · 14 answers · asked by jensarquist 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we occasionally still speak. He recently told me that he still loves me and realizes what a fool he was to let me go, and that he wants another chance. He says he knows that means he has to be around my kids, and that he is fully willing to do that. I don't know if I want to take that leap of faith after the way he acted the first time, if it ends up the same way again it would be really hard on me, but even more so for my girls. What do you think? Should I give him another chance??????????
Serious answers only please
2006-07-29 16:13:37 · update #1
I would suggest that you discuss very candidly with him the subject and find out what it was that initially upset him. I raised six daughters and am still sort of shell shocked. If he had never had any exposure to children or girls the initial shock might have blown him away. I refer to my six she-demons as a weapon of mass destruction; which they were and still are. I fear that one day the state may require me to get a license for having a weapon of mass destruction, too. Maybe he has matured a little and now realizes that people and kids are all different. Life can be a strange and exciting thing and we all deal with it and learn things about it differently. I think doing income tax work is fun and I enjoy it. Raising my daughters enabled me to develop and learn to think outside the envelope. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger in many respects.
2006-07-29 16:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I really do not see any reason why you should not give him another chance. I think you should gradually ease him into the lives of your children since this was the reason you guys broke up. You two should probably spend some dates alone without the kids to see if you both are still compatible. People change allot as the years go by. If the compatibility is still there then include the kids. Hope everything works out.
2006-07-29 16:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it's heard, but if you love him you will give him another chance to be able to see the new him, may be he learn a leason just go on date with him and your girls together before you guys start dating for real, and keep your eye on him and your children when they are around each other how they act. if you don't give him the chance you might regreat in the future if that realationship might work just give it a short and communicate a lot, trust your intuation.
2006-07-29 16:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he displayed a lot of immaturity and behaved worse than a kid. If he has done this once it is extremely likely that after a few more weeks of sex he will again find some other excuse. Once out let them stay out!!
2006-07-29 16:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats way more then i need to read but from the jest of it i'd say lose him cus as you say your kids come first and he should know that and if he did he would have worked it out with your kid when it happen and not be a kid himself
2006-07-29 16:19:14 · answer #5 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT QUESTION IS BEST ANSWER BY YOU AND YOU ALONE. HE SOUND LIKE HE REALLY REGRET WHAT HAPPEN BUT YOU KNOW IT BEEN SOME TIME AND YOU
RIGHT KIDS WILL BE KIDS, AND HE IS TH ADULT AND IF
GOT MAD AT THEM AND LEFT. THAT NOT GOOD. HE
MAY DO AGAIN IF THINGS DONT GO HIS WAY. THE
BEST ADVICE IS TO TAKE IT SLOW AND SEE HOW IT
GOES.
2006-07-29 16:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that decision would totally be up to you but i give you alot of credit of kicking his *** to the curb the first time kids come first not many people choice there kids first
2006-07-29 16:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, but let me validate it. Your kids come first. I applaud you for that. I respect you for that. Now, find a man who also believes it.
2006-07-29 16:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big NOOOOOOOOO
He knew you had kids from the start
He seems very immature himself.
2006-07-29 16:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has grown up a bit. Worst case scenario, you send him packing again. You never know, maybe things will work out.
2006-07-29 16:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋