Tired of being ref between children.
2006-07-29 15:46:10 · 13 answers · asked by mevsthekids 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a mother of four boys, I feel your pain. However, I found a solution that works great. First of all you have to realize that you have three which means there is an odd man out most of the time. That often causes alot of the fighting. Next you need to sit them all down and make new rules. Tell them that you are no longer going to settle their arguments for them but are going to sit whoever is arguing down at the kitchen table across from each other and they can't leave until they've come up with a solution that you will approve. There are a few rules to set down on how they settle it too. #1 there is to be no yelling and #2 it must be a fair solution for everyone. It doesn't seem like much, but kids that age hate sitting still longer than five minutes. It takes a few times to get it right, but eventually they learn to listen to each other, learn a little tolerance with each other and compromise quicker. This has worked wonders in my household and put an end to the constant bickering. It also brings about better communication skills for them to express their feelings with each other.
2006-07-29 16:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When they fight over things, take things away. If they fight over a game, take away all games.
Eventually, hopefully in a day or 2, they have nothing. Next tell them they must earn back whatever it is you took from them.
Let's say you took away TV privileges. You tell them they can earn 1 hour of TV time per day, but they must agree on what to watch. If they start fighting over it, again take away all TV time for a 3 days, then try again.
If they want their games back they must work together to clean the garage. If they can do this, they get whatever games back. If they fight they lose them again.
Eventually they will get the idea, that they must learn to talk and negotiate or they lose completely,
Of course there could be a problem with just one. Then maybe that one has to be isolated from the other two. So they get more privileges.
2006-07-29 15:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beyond Sibling Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Become Cooperative, Caring and Compassionate by Peter Goldenthal
The Baffled Parent's Guide to Sibling Rivalry by Marian Edelman Borden
2006-07-29 15:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out let me know!
My mom used to make us get in the yard and face each other, then she would say. "The first one who cries is OUT" then she would say "OK, so n so, you throw the first punch, ready, set, go! And the fighting would begin. If we refused to fight we got restriction for 1 week.
I did this with my boys once, but at 10 and 8 they didn't quite knock the crap out of each other, they started laughing, which in turn ended the fighting. My husband makes them sit on the couch and hold hands. They hate that!!
To be perfectly honest. I don't think anything will every make them stop completely, it's only a temporary fix. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-07-29 16:12:39 · answer #4 · answered by chulita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 7 and 10 year old. They used to fight so much that I really didn't want to be around. I finally told them if they wanted to fight they were going to do it in front of me. I had them stand face to face and told them to hit the other or whatever they wanted to do. When they found out they had permission to do this, they didn't find it fun anymore. They would even drop tears because they didn't want to hurt the other. It is almost like they are doing this to make you miserable.
2006-07-29 16:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 4 boys fought ALL the tme... 1 day I took them all and packed all their fun stuff out of their rooms ( xbox, tv"s etc.) said that they were not getting their cr*p back till they could treat each other more civilly... they got their stuff back the next day! I told them I didnt care who started the fight , they would all lose all their stuff again if they can't learn to work it out without it turning into a yelling match..It worked 4 me !!!
2006-07-29 15:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by JENNIFER Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Duct tape their hand and feet together, tape their mouths and eyes closed. Shove them in a dark closet. Worked on my sister, I took care of her when she was young, she's very well behaved now.
2006-07-29 15:53:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give them boxing gloves and let them duke it out
2006-07-29 16:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh it gets worse.
2006-07-29 15:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Secret Admirer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out please contact me and let me know I am pulling my hair out.
2006-07-29 16:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by Katrina Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋