Do I worry to much?

Question

I was with this guy we puthim as Aand my mom made me feel i had to go back to my ex(letter B) so I did a midnight move out on (A) and moved back in with (B) but the feelings were not there at all I never stopped talking to (A) and we are moving back in together in Sept how can I tell my mom to deal with it and not make me feel so bad seems like everything i do is wrong but my brother is always right.Why cant I be happy with who I am happy with?Will she come around?She still telling me I am making a huge mistake and I am going to regret it all.I am 23 and I think I am making the right choice to be with (A)I can be myself with him talk to him about anything and not hide from nothing with(B) he dont know me I dont tell him nothing cause whatever it is he gets mad.So what should I do go with (A) and my mom will come around. what else is a treat is my brother is getting married On sept 9th and I want (A) to be there with me but I dont want no fights starting there Why cant my family B happy

Answer 1

My dear girl -I know and feel your pain. Please don't be offended by what I am going to say, but I know what is eventually going to happen. First of all - you are insecure and whenever you feel that you have to respond at the age of 23 to your mother or othe family members about a particular situation in your own personal life -it means that you have not reached the confidence level to accept what YOU want and disregard what others may want . You are still in the "pleasing mode". There is nothing wrong with that , but when you allow your family to make decisions for you, you give away your own power and authority. I know - they may even be right - and you may not be sure - but the bottom line is YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR OWN DEICISION AND DEAL WITH ANY CONSEQUENSES that stem from that. That is what it means to 'grow up' and realize your responsibilities and decision making skills. You can't allow others to make them for you. Second, if you are going back and forth between men - are you really sure "who it is you really want to be with?" IThere is no way that my mother (bless her deceased heart) would be able to tell me I'm making a mistake and that alone would make me 'go back to someone' that I was not happy with to "try it out". How do you think that makes him feel - especially when you never stopped seeing the other guy? You have to learn to be true to yourself - and hurting other people in the process is not a good thing. It also sounds as though throughout your life you and your brother have been co-ops in your relationship with your mom. You think your mom believes your brother is 'perfect' and you are just 'out of order' and can't do anything without their intervention. WRONG. You are your own woman. Now, if you really enjoy the company of this other guy and want to be with him, and him with you - then you need to go for it. You are 23. Perfectly able to make your own decisions - right or wrong. Nobody can tell you what is best for you - only you can make that decision, My friend - you will find in this life that you will make many mistakes along the pathway, and you will find some happiness and there will be some sadness, but it is your life and as you go along the path, you must take both of those areas and challenges and learn from them. God has given us power, love and a sound mind and you can make your own decisions. Take your mom to lunch. Talk to her - woman to woman - tell her you want her thoughts on the subject of this wedding and who you want to invite and ask her if she will trust your judgement to bring the person you would really rather be with. Your mom loves you, and though she might not agree - she should let you make this decision on your own - and even if you mess up, mom is still there - that's what mothers do. Good luck to you my friend.

Answer 2

you have to do what is right for you first of all. sit down and talk to your mom, ask her why she feels like she always needs to have a say in what goes on in your life. because it is your life. she may be trying to live vicariously through you, and she wants you to be happy and not make mistakes that she may or may have not made. before the wedding it would be best if you talked to her about this, get it out in the open beforehand so there won't be any nasty scenes at the wedding, and it will give her time to cool down if you confront her early. good luck!

Answer 3

If ur worried to the point that you have to ask if ur worried too much then the answer is probably yes. calm down. I personally don't think you should live with anyone 'till ur married, but in any case, ur mom doesn't have a say in who you care about. just because SHE likes ur ex doesn't mean you have to.

Answer 4

Eventually if your mother really loves you, she'll come around.........Why are you letting her make such life determining decisions and you are 23?????? Stand on your own 2 feet and tell her that this is how it is and she has no control over you any longer......She'll be mad at first but will respect you for it later............Take care and good jluck!!!!!!!

Answer 5

dont worry abt it
cheers