how can i love this baby when the father has made me feel so worthless?

Answer 1

It's not about the father. It's about the baby. The baby has done nothing wrong and will love you almost no matter what you do. It will depend on you for almost everything. Taking care of that child will give you a sense of self worth.

Answer 2

How can you question your love for YOUR child over the way a man has made you feel? I do not mean that in a mean way...really. I suppose I am quite taken aback by the question. I have a child and yes i am married to her father but regardless of how he makes me feel i cannot see myself questioning the love i have for her. (I have not been in your situation, i have had friends in similar situations, therefore, i cannot say without a doubt what i would do or how i would feel).

Mother and child have a bond that no one else shares. You carried that child for almost 10 months, you felt the first movements, you heard the heartbeat for the first time, you saw a living itty bitty human being growing in black and white on a screen trying to picture what he/she will look like and what he/she will be like, as well as who they will become.

I honestly think you need to go back to your doctor and tell him/her how you feel. I am not saying that is the answer but that is a starting point.

You could also sit and write down all the things that you are and do to let yourself know that you are not worthless. Please do not think that you cannot think of anything, there is something. Look at your list and remind yourself that A: you are not worthless; B: you have a baby that needs you (one idea to put on your list); C: other people's opinion of you is not important; D: you DESERVE to be treated with respect and your feelings DO matter (I know this one can be tough, but it is the truth.) Try to remember to count your blessings, even when it is hard to think of them or to find them.

Oh, and God thinks you have a worth and a purpose. That is the the only opinion you need to care about.

Answer 3

You need to realize the baby's father is an idiot and a fool. He is the one that is horrible, not you, ok?

You need to realize that God loves you so much that if you were the only person on the earth, He still would have sent His only Son to die for you so that He could have you in Heaven with you forever.

And God loves the baby that much as well. God will help you get over this slump you're having in your self-esteem, and He will show you that you are infinitely valuable to Him, so valuable His Son paid the highest possible price for you, His own life.

You can't be worthless, that's impossible, and you need to see that.

The baby's father is evil, so ignore most of what he says, ok??

Get some people around you who are positive and speak the truth, and stop listening to the lies of the baby's father.

Answer 4

This has nothing to do with the baby. I was with someone who made me feel worthless and had his daughter. She is now 10 and couldn't imagine life without her. I have been with someone (and married) since she was 2 weeks old. That was the best thing that happened because I now look back at her "LOSER" biological father and see how much further he could have brought me down. Love your baby and you will find someone that will treat you and your baby a lot better.

Good luck

Answer 5

People can only make you feel worthless with your permission. The baby had nothing to do with that, and is not responsible for anything the father did to you. If you don't want the child, put it up for adoption - there are many, many people who would love to have a baby to love and raise. If you're not one of them (and there's nothing wrong with that if you are), you can get help to find someone who is.

Answer 6

You must develop greater control of your own feelings. "Self-esteem" is exactly that - holding yourself, regardless of the opinions of others, in high opinion. This is done by acts and accomplishments that you feel are worthy of merit. Someone else can call such things worthless, but if you value your accomplishments yourself, then their words will not matter to your own feelings of self-worth.

Your baby is a blank slate, with no accomplishment other than survival as of yet. Perhaps your baby will become someone of great personal worth? What you describe is not whether you or the baby have worth, but whether you both were valued. You obviously feel justifiably betrayed because you expected to be valued more than the father demonstrated. His actions, however, in this specific description of events, refects his own worth. He is (IMO, of course) as a worthless excuse for a parent if he abandons the mother of his child in the face of parenthood. That seems to be childish and cowardly behavior. Were another woman to see that he had behaved so, what would be his worth as a prospective boyfriend?

So far, I expect that your only justified feeling is righteous indignation at being abandoned this way. This is the way to express your feelings while still holding yourself in higher regard.

Answer 7

Because the father is nobody. If you havent already gotten rid of him, do it. You are not worthless and dont ever let anyone make you feel small. You will love your baby because he or she is yours, growing inside you, relying on you for survival, and when you finally meet for the first time, you'll feel the love. Don't think of the baby in relation to the father, think of him/her as the only good thing he gave you...someone to love and be loved by unconditionally for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

simply try and remember you are not worthless. you are an amazing young woman who happens to have been blessed with a child.
so the father of that child is a worthless piece of slime and should be ejected into space an a billion little pieces for abandoning you when you need him the most. remember not all of us guys are like that.
as for loving the baby when he or she comes, this will or at least should just happen naturally as you interact and bond with your child you will grow to love him or her more than life itself (or so I'm led to believe), you will soon forget how the child's father used and mentally abused you in your hour of need.

you need a hug from someone close, your mom or dad may be.
if you were in my neighborhood I'd offer you my shoulder to come and cry on.
so the next best thing is to offer my email in box and say write me and tell me what is going on. and if i can I'll help as best i can.

Answer 9

that baby is an innocent child who deserves love and attention from its mother you do not need a man in your childs life that makes you feel worthless that only means he will make the baby feel worthless be a better person and a great mom you have a chance that alot of women don't have in life believe me i have two kids with an a**hole and he only sees one of them when he wants, but i just remember that, that baby is apart of me and i am going to take advantage of that and do the best that i can raising that baby with all the love i have if takes all i got you will feel better about yourself once you loose him if ever need to talk to anyone i know what your going through do not hesitate to contact me at [e-mail] or get some counseling good luck and remember that you already gave that baby life now give it the best one you can

Answer 10

Realize that you have the chance to raise the baby to be the most wonderful thing that has happened to you, and to prove that you can make a wonderful mother and that you are not worthless. and that there is this little thing so small that you get to raise and that looks up to you for so much, Your going to be the one he or she depends on to live.

I hope you can find a way to love the baby, because you may not realize it but you are the only person that baby has. look at him or her smile listen to there laugh and realize that, that baby was in you and you are the reason that he or she is alive.