my friend has bullimia (dont know if i spelt it right???), she is depressed and suicidal and has many problems with her past (she was sexualy abused most of her life). she has just started new anti depressants and they are playing her moods a bit(mood swings). she is seeing a councelor and phycologist and doctors and stuff but she seem to be getting worse. i am worried about her, i want to help but there is only so much i can do. she is only 16 and so am i we live together with my boyfriend and she spends alot of time in her room crying to music. she gets angry and tries to kill herself or cuts herself. they cannot admit her into hospital coz they dont think its serious enough even the police cant get her in there. how can i be there for her without making her feel smothered or uncomfortable. i cant leave her alone alot for fear she will hurt herself... i want her to eat properly but i dont want 2 push her 2 far and have her throw up again. what do i do. only serious answers please.
2006-07-29 15:00:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she has admitted she has a problem and she went to the hospitals and police herself and almost begged for proffesional help. its just no one seems to care
2006-07-29 15:10:18 · update #1
she cannot be with her mother because her mother is scared for her two younger boys, they are only little and alot of the time in her mood swings she will threaten them seriousely, her mother is here every day to catch up with her and give her support and my mother offers alot of support too. i have been with my boyfriend long term for years now and we are extremely close i couldnt live weith my mother i dont get along with her husband at all. i am happy where i am and i think she is too. we do have parental emotional support though. her father hasnt been seen since she was 3 and mine lives in another state and doesent care for me
2006-07-29 15:18:49 · update #2
This is a very tough spot for you and her to be in. I know you want to be a good friend and you are being a good friend but she needs to be a good friend too. See if you can get her to get you in on one of her counselling sessions. Tell her you need some advice from her counsellor.... If you get to see her counsellor while you are there ask the counsellor to help you and her to make a contract... where she promises to not hurt herself.. because the idea of her hurting herself is hurting you...
It is possible the medication is making her worse... but believe me psychologists and psychiatrists do not want to hear that their medication is NOT working...and may be making the problem worse.. I know because when I was suffering depression they put me on medication and I went from being depressed to being suicidal... not a good look from anyone's angle... To this day no doctor will admit that the medication will make some people worse. There is a good chance she is depressed because she has a lot of sadness in her life.. and the depression is normal for the things she has been through... in other words it is not an illness or disease.. it is a deep sadness...
There are just a few psychologists who see things this way and this is the website of one who does..
http://mooramoora.org.au/bobrich/psych/
Try reading what he has to say and also send him off an email and ask for advice.
2006-08-02 12:46:08 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mother needs to send the younger children to live with an aunt, exhusband, or grandma for awhile so she can focus on taking care of her messedup daughter first and foremost. Or she is going to lose her. Your friend will kill herself if someone doesn't take responsbiiltiy for her NOW. Call your friend's mom and tell her this NOW. Or else send her to a rehab where someoen can be with her 24/7
2006-07-29 22:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for taking care of her but why isn't she with her parents? 2 16-year olds cannot handle the stress of taking care of a bulimic patient, suicidal at that. If not her parents, what about relatives? I'm not saying you're not doing enough, but its too much to handle at your age. What you can do is talk very calmly with her if she's quiet and not crying. Ask her what it is you can do for her because you're worried for her, you love her and you want her to get better. You have to get to the root cause of her depression and talk to her psychiatrist as well. Make sure she meets with all her appointments. Good luck and God bless and watch over you.
2006-07-29 22:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I will say she needs your help. You have to be very careful with her. If you are allowed to talk to her counselor I am sure there is a way to be found to help your friend. Have you tried calling a hotline and asking someone about this matter? Will her family help her? Just be there for her and let her know that you love and care for her, and that she has to be willing to admit she has serious problems that need to be addressed.
2006-07-29 22:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by momof4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are her parents? Or yours for that matter. You both are only 16? Why does she live with you and your boyfriend?
If your really worried, contact her parents or other members of her family. She needs help. Call the police if you think she will harm herself. They WILL come and take her to be evaluated if she is a threat to herself or someone else. Please don't delay....
2006-07-29 22:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by kiki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets just go straight to the point..Make her happy! If you're her friend, you surely know how to make her forget all the things that's bothering her and have fun, right?
Take her to theme parks, or play anything that you guys enjoy. It'll surely can make her ease a little bit..
The cure to everything is HAPPINESS! So show her the way to happiness.
2006-07-29 22:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Foreigner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got to show her that she can depend on you. let her know that you'll always be there for her as a friend. talk to her, and most importantly, listen to her. do keep an eye on her so she won't cut herself etc, but give her some space to cool down too.
as for the eating problem, i suggest you don't make her eat. just talk to her, and make her want to eat. it sounds really tough i know, but time heals all wounds.
you're a great friend, don't give up.
all the best for you and your friend.
2006-07-29 22:07:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, basically there's nothing you can do for her except to be there for her. she needs to ask for help and admit she has a problem, otherwise no amount of help in the world will help her until she's come to that moment in her life. the only thing you can do for her right now is just be there for her when she needs someone. that's about it.
2006-07-29 22:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by wilderone74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through and am going through the same thing with the child abuse thing it is rlly hard to get over and it always is in ur mind the pills do help but they do also have rlly bad side effects if i were u i would just let her no ur there for her tell her wut she is doing isnt the best option but dnt like parent her caz i hate that when my friends do that to me dnt tell her not to do something tell her like it hurts u when you see her doing these things. take her out to lunch spend time with her get her away from the house try to get her mind off things like go to the movies er have grls night out er something like that. that should work
2006-07-29 22:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by jbgilginas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u won't get any serious answers on here and i really don't know how to advice u i have never been through this all ican say is be there for her as much as u can
2006-07-30 01:52:11 · answer #10 · answered by heather f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋