Computers and Tech support anything happen to ya like this?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day;

"Simultaneous orgasms," says a sex therapist, "are mostly the result of a freaking stroke of luck!"

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; WILLYS JOKES archives! best jokes anywhere!

Answer 1

oh man,
these are funny!
You got my day man, (I wasn't in a good mood today)

thanks for the jokes, buddy!

Answer 2

Haha! Those were great!

Reminds me of the time I came in to work and my supervisor was panicked because his new computer was humming, but his screen wasn't showing anything. Turns out he turned the monitor off....

Answer 3

As far as SimO's go, my ex-wife and I had them 99 out of a 100 times. The very few times, I...um..."disappointed" her, she literally, immediately smacked me. It was good incentive to "service her correctly". Anyway, I finally kicked her azz to the curb. I imagine that SimO's for her now are "a freakin' stroke of luck".

Answer 4

LOL. LOL.

Answer 5

Thanks for that!