Why Have I Wasted So Many Years?

Question

I am a 31 year old woman. I was brought up in a christian household as were my children. Last night found me the lowest I have ever been. I sat under the stars and prayed feverishly and sincerely. I asked for a sign that things were going to get better for me...a sign that God was there listening and caring. I made it quite clear that it needed to be something I would know was from Him because I wasn't going to convince myself that something as ordinary as a lightning bug was my sign. I think that's why so many people claim to believe. I also made it clear that I wasn't going to convinve myself that sometimes He answers yes, no or not right now. That's just a believers way of explainging unanswered prayers. My prayer was not for selfish reasons. If there really were a God He would have realized how important this was to me. He would have known that I needed this. I gave Him ample time. I pointed out that if He were real He would and could do this for me. More below....

After all...He parted the sea, walked on water, turned water into wine and healed the sick. So my question is...why did I waste so many years of my life believeing in a fairy tale and how can we as a society help others so they don't waste their lives as well?

Let me explain a few things...I was not asking to be blessed. I merely wanted to know He was out there and that I wasn't alone. And yes...one whole night is ample time. Do you not believe He is a worker of miracles? He can create the universe and every living thing in it is seven days but He can't give me comfort in my time of need?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry that you feel so lost. You're pain touches me, and I'd like to answer your question even though I'm not Christian. I worship Mother Earth and Father Sky. I believe that this realm that we are living in right now is divine, not some distant "heaven" that we are in danger of being locked out of. Everything in this world is a part of the divine. You, your beautiful children, a rock, even that lightning bug you were so quick to dismiss. I know that you are at your lowest, but in your darkness look around at all the beauty around you, and find what you have learned from your terrible experience. What does not kill you makes you stronger, and more beautiful, and more wise. Make a plan to get out of the place your in. Take small steps. That firefly was your sign, the divine was trying to tell you that everything you need is right there in front of you, you are just dismissing it because you think it's too simple. The answer is always simple, that's why it's so hard to hear sometimes. Good luck beautiful sister, don't give up.

Answer 2

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I wouldn't say, years wasted. If you were a true believer, and looked to God for guidance, then you have led a righteous life and have taught your children the difference between right and wrong. That is most commendable. You have used the Bible for what it was intended, to learn to live in a way that is "God Approved".
Do not use the Bible and religion as a crutch. You have the knowledge, you need. The church is mostly a society function where people can network and take advantage of friendships(in a positive way). If you don't look for help there now, then time has been wasted.
I wish you well and hope everything turns out fine.
I have always seen life as a book with many chapters and lessons to be learned. Know in your heart that this hard time will pass and there is another Chapter about to begin.
Every book can have a happy ending.
Make it so.
One other thing, of the number of times you pray during the day, say a special prayer to YOURSELF.
That's where you will find many of the answers you seek.
May Master Jesus give you strength
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Answer 3

Well, you can't see love but you know when you love someone. Its kinda of like the same thing. If you truly believed then you wouldn't question. The question you should really be asking is have you ever truly believed or where you just going and doing whatever your family did. Answer that question and maybe you realize that you can pray to that the rain drops miss you, but if you don't buy an umbrella, your gonna get wet. The old saying is true, God helps those who help themselves. Do something anything to change whatever it is that has you in the predicament your in, I must admit I didn't read the whole thing, but it sounds like your sitting around waiting for a prayer to be answered instead of making it happen. Good luck.

Answer 4

Act. That is what you do. Problems don't go away by prayer or by asking someone, or waiting for someone, to fix things for us. That's the problem with many people today. God, whether he's there or not, isn't going to fix anything. People have to stop using him as an excuse to not take responsibility, and start acting on their own accord.

The only way to make sure something gets done is to do it yourself. It's our responsibility and it's not fair to sit back and watch, calling it faith in God, while the world deteriorates. You can't make people act though. You only have control over yourself and it's a waste of time trying to make other people do as you do, just as it's a waste of time to try making the entire world believe in the same God. People are different and believe in different things, and that will never change, but you can make an effort to better the world yourself.

Answer 5

Please don't let any judgmental answers here bring you down. You need a hug, not a lecture on how or what to pray.

Things *will* get better for you. I can promise you that. Sometimes we need to go through an aching catharsis before we can see the path opening up in front of us.

Maybe you have been living your life too much for other people and not enough for yourself. Maybe you've been good to everyone else but not to you. How much do you love you? That's where it starts, that's where the lasting kind of comfort starts. You have to love and cherish who you are, and you have to admit to yourself that you deserve happiness. Then you have to find a way to begin giving it to yourself.

You really aren't alone. What you've been through, other people have been through before. You're at a new place in your life where you will need to move forward. Let go of some things that have caused you pain and reach out for things that will make you happy. You have the strength.

Those stars over you are your home. As Carl Sagan said, we are all starstuff. And you're as eternal as the stars are.


Closing with a virtual hug.

Answer 6

Sweetheart, so have I. Many times. And if I could I would tell you all the little miracles in my life. We do have an Awesome God. If it were not so I would not tell you because I believe in honesty. Some things seem so surreal at times, and yet so real. Hang in there. The truth is in the Bible. It is the oldest book around. And I know at times it doesn't seem real, but it is. I asked for a diamond ring just From God one year around Christmas. I was lonely and felt so alone. Long story short I got my ring from HIM that lives forever in a matter of 3-4 days. It was awesome!!!! God bless you child.

Answer 7

We all have the temptation to gamble... to go for "all-or-nothing" moments. I know that I do that all the time. But that sort of thing doesn't work on God.

He knows what's best for you, and He is accomplishing it through you. It it not always our part to know where we are going or why, but we must always trust in His Will for us. I know that it seemed last night as if you couldn't do that any more... but now it's today, and what will you find that can give meaning to your life again?

Trust is a beautiful thing. It means believing that, no matter what is happening right now, God will turn it all to good in the end. And even if that's just a myth, it's one we all need - we all need to believe that things will turn out all right, and so we all need to trust in something. There is noOne better than God to trust in, and I hope that you will realize this as time goes on. I am praying for you.

Answer 8

Hello, God answers prayers according to His will and what is His will? The Word of God. Just because God did not answer your prayer when you wanted to does not mean that He is not going to do it. I can remember times when I needed bills to be paid or the rent was due. God did not pay my bills on time. Instead, one bill would get paid by someone unknown. My rent on my house was waved for that month. Utility companies giving me unusal favor and grace to pay bills. As long as I have been alive I have never not had God answer a prayer. And He would always let me know why I could not get some things at times. But faith has to go beyond and persevere. It can only fail when we give up.

Answer 9

sweetheart even as someone who does believe in god .. i want to say to you take life into your own hands , think more positively because our very thoughts can become actions and you can create a better life for yourself.. little by little each day
i would like to say also that you seem so down i wonder if you have a little depression .. if so sweetie see a doc or a therapist , i don't mean go get drugs because that isn't always the answer , but a good therapy group that could help you become more positive and happier
and a little saying ... if you are going through hell keep going
because we always come through the other side don't we ?
anytime you need a chat or someone to yell at .. ill be an ear for you xx

Answer 10

So let me get this right. JUST LAST NITE, you cried your heart out to God, and asked Him for a sign, and wanted Him to answer you. Now at the end of this you say, well I gave Him ample time, and if He were real He would do this for me........Give me a break! You mean you waited ALL NITE LONG for God to answer and He didn't? Well how dare Him take longer than this, the nerve!
Patience is one of the things that will need work with you, as it does with all of us Christians. When we cry out to the Lord for help, then give Him the time to do it when He needs to do it, and the way He wants to do it, and just let Him work things out, they turn out beautifully.
It sounds like you are still wanting Him to do all things your way and right now! If I were God, I would make you wait too. You sound like a spoiled child.