the guy picks up his date, still living with her mom. it's their first date, so he takes her to the county fair. they get there, walk around for awhile, and he asks what she would like to do. "i wanna get weighed", she says. so he takes her to the guess your weight booth. the guy guesses her weight, wrong, and they win a stuffed animal. after walking around a bit more, he asks if there's anything else she'd like to do. "i wanna get weighed", she says again. he's thinking maybe she might like to win another prize, and takes her back. bingo, another stuffed animal. they go on some rides, have a bite to eat, and he asks her again if there's anything she'd like to do. "i wanna get weighed" she says emphatically. geez, he thinks, what's with this chick? so he takes her back, and they win again. now weighed down with the prizes, he's had it and takes her home. her mother meets her at the door and asks "well, did you have a good time?"..... she says " i had a wousy time!"
2006-07-29 13:23:36 · 15 answers · asked by bakbiter 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Pretty good.... but I like mine better.
A gy and his friend are in a park drinking beer and smoking. The guy pulls out a 12-inch-long Bic lighter. His friend stares at it.
"Where'd you get that?" the friend asks.
"From my genie," the guy replies.
"Wow, can I see it?"
"Sure," the guy answers, and pulls a bottle out of the cooler. He rubs it, and out comes the genie in a cloud of smoke.
"Hey," the guy says, "this is a friend of mine. Can he have a wish?"
"Sure," says the genie.
The friend closes his eyes and wishes for a million bucks. The genie snaps his fingers, and almost instantly ducks begin to rain from the sky.
The friend turns to the guy and goes, "Hey, what's the deal? Is your genie hard of hearing? I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
The guy replies, "Do you REALLY think I wished for a 12-inch Bic?!"
lol.... gross but funny
2006-07-29 13:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by acct4em 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good One..Heres mine.
You know it's time to join E-Mail Anonymous when...
You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You name your children eudora, aol and dotcom.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
You laugh at people with 14.4-baud modems.
You start using smileys in your snail mail.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a wordprocessor.com
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
After reading this message, you immediately e-mail it to a friend
2006-07-29 20:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol twas okay:) Heres one:
A man walks into a bar with a small lizard. He sits down, lizard in hand and orders a large beer for himself and a small beer for the reptile. The barkeep says, "Why a small beer for that lizard there?" And the guy replies, "Because he's my newt."
2006-07-29 20:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cute. Here's mine:
One day, a little boy sees a dead bug and asks his Dad, Ron, why do the bugs legs stick straight up when they die.
His dad replies " Their legs stick up like that because it makes easier for God to swoop down and pick them up and take them to Heaven."
A few days later, the Dad comes home to see his son very upset and asks the boy what's wrong.
Son: " Oh Dad, it's horrible..God is coming to get my Momma."
Dad: "What are you talking about?"
Son: "Well, she's been screaming for a while now and when I went to check on her, she was on her back with her legs straight in the air and just kept screaming 'Oh God, Oh God, Charlie."
2006-07-29 20:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by southrngirl2724 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, it wasn't bad- but heres my favorite joke ever:
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test...we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!"
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car...
2006-07-29 20:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by Rainy Day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!!!!!!!!! That is funny! That actually cheered me up a little bit. See I have been crying for the past hour because my mother died 4 months ago and I am just 16 and I miss her a lot. This joke helped a lot. Thanks for the points and for cheering me up!
2006-07-29 20:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Jamie ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good joke
2006-07-29 20:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i heard that one already.
it wasn't funny the first time either
2006-07-29 20:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by Kyle K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be vewy vewy quiet im hunting wabbits he hehehehe eheh!
2006-07-29 20:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get it!, could someone explain it??
2006-07-29 22:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Dan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋