help.......................?

Question

i am 16 yrs old and my boyfriend just died two day ago he was going home from my house and he was hit by a drunk driver. I am taking his death really hard and i don't now how to deal w/ the pain and grief. Can anyone help me?

Answer 1

I'm very sorry.

There are grief counsellors that you could talk to. Writing out your feelings might help. Staying close to his family who are also grieving might also help you.

I don't know if there's a lot to help. You just have to go THROUGH the grieving process. Know that your feelings and emotions are okay and just experience them.

Sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

I can! First of all, don't EVER think it was your fault. You're completely innocent-seriously. Another thing to remember is that hopefully your boyfriend is in a better place. I think you can deal with the pain and grief, if you try to relax and know that you didn't do anything to cause his death and that he probably loved you very much and is looking down on you and smiling at you.

Invest your time into hanging out with friends and family and your daily activities. Try not to become so sad that you get depressed. If you feel depressed talk to a counseler.

Remember that you can overcome your greif and pain slowly, it takes time and determination-but you can doing anything if you have faith. *hugs* I'm so sorry about your boyfriend.

Answer 3

wow, ask your friends and family about the Stages of Grief, YOU WILL BE GOING THRU THEM and its nice to know why you will be ACTING they way you will be. Otherwise, you could think your going "a little crazy" in the days ahead. Your NOT. What your going through is NATURES way of getting you through the "shock" of losing someone so close to you so QUICKLY and SENSELESSLY. Trust me, even if he had died of a "lingering illness" and YOU EXPECTED IT, it would STILL come as a shock. I KNOW.

So, if you can, go to the Public Library and get some books on Grief Counseling or the Stages of Grief (ask the Librarian). Also, your bookstores have them. It will take time, and everyone who goes through grief goes through it alone, even his mom and dad who BOTH LOST A SON will have to fight this alone AND together. So don't feel "left out." Your not. Don't try to rush through it, because YOU CAN'T. If you do, IT WILL SIMPLY BITE YOU IN THE *SS WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! and most likely embarrass you, so DON'T TRY TO RUSH THROUGH GRIEF!!! So, just remember, as the one above said, "this too shall pass," but it will be months or even a year or years. So, remember, no hurry, everything in time and do it HEALTHILY. Do NOT hold onto things in a unhealthy manner. Also, by remembering his mom and dad in their pain, it may help you in yours!

Good luck, I hope the best for you, you probably feel "numb" or will.

Answer 4

Be with ppl who care about you.

Know that there are resources out there that include real live ppl. Don't be afraid to use them if you need help coping. The ones below should be able to help you find support in your own town. They're from the website given. You can also Google "crisis hotline" for others. Don't be put off by the descriptions that don't quite fit your situation. The ppl that answer will understand why you're calling.

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm#crisis2

crisis intervention/suicide

Boys Town Suicide and Crisis Line: 800-448-3000 or 800-448-1833 (TDD)
Provides short-term crisis intervention and counseling and referrals to local community resources. Counsels on parent-child conflicts, marital and family issues, suicide, pregnancy, runaway youth, physical and sexual abuse, and other issues. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.

Covenant House Hotline: [phone]
Crisis line for youth, teens, and families. Gives callers locally based referrals throughout the United States. Provides help for youth and parents regarding drugs, abuse, homelessness, runaway children, and message relays. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.

Answer 5

thats awful and i feel your pain....i use to have a best friend who was allergic to many foods and one day while having dinner at a friend's house, she ate something she wasn't suppose to and died at the hospital. I was only nine years old so it hit me pretty hard. Just keep your head up and remember the good times with him and also start a group in his name to get rid of all drunk drivers. If you want any more help you can email me ((email address -- [e-mail])) because it really is ashame how many ppl die b/c of drunk drivers. But just still strive for the best.

Sorry for your lost I hope you feel better soon

Answer 6

Talk with a counselor. It is important to talk about what you're feeling and not bottle anything in.

Buy a journal and write down all your feelings. Write a letter to your boyfriend and tell him what you're feeling. Write about the good times you had together too.

Talk with people you both knew and have some "remember the time we ... " discussions. Talking about good times helps ease the pain because part of you re-lives those times in your mind and you feel the happiness from it. The support of others helps ease the pain as does giving support to those people.

Above all, remember that life goes on. He would want you to do that.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for you. I know how you feel i had so many people close to me die and just when i thought it was over my mother gets breast cancer so i understand how hard you are taking this. Lots of people say think of the good times you had with him but dont my advice would be "forgive and forget" Forgive the drunk driver and move on because like the first person said "this too shall pass." just write it all out write till your fingers hurt seriously it works

Answer 8

Im so sorry about your loss. The pain and grief will be with you whatever, but meantime to help you talk to people about how you are feeling and get it out of your system, dont bottle things up. Be strong. Take care.x

Answer 9

i lost the one i believe was made for me and my best friend to a car wreck, just keep moving, keep the good memories coming, and on your rougher days, take it easy and try to stay away from any stress so you dont end up taking out your grief on others-but if you do, let them know its not personal, you dont have to tell them why, b/c not all will understand...its been 3+yrs since my CEW passed and it still hurts everyday, and thats ok. just dont let it take you over, its NOT what he wouldve wanted. (and note for the future: if you ever start to have feelings for someone else later which you cant even imagine right now, its ok. he truly cared for you and wants you happy, so let the good in.) God bless.

Answer 10

grief is individualized. death is part of life, what you are feeling is important and do not let anyone tell you different. you will be going through many different emotions for many months to come. GO WITH EVERY FEELING YOU MAY HAVE, UNLESS IT SEEMS TO BE DESTRUCTIVE TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. it will take time, time is what you need in cases of grief. you will always think of him, as time goes by, you will see you will always remember the laughter. trust me, the laughter will come back, but you have to go through this period which will make you grow intellectually and emotionally. i am sure he is watching over you, knowing full well you are a strong intelligent young woman who will be able to jump this hurdle. reach deep down, ask him and god for the extra that you need to be there for yourself and his family. PLEASE keep in touch.