I am a mother of 2, ages 5 and 4 months. He is a truck driver that works 14+hrs day & hes home every night. All I ask him to do is play w/ the kids and take the trash out when he gets home. Am I wrong to expect that of him? He thinks so!!
2006-07-29 11:37:31 · 13 answers · asked by J Luv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hmm,I have a family member in a similar situation...
1)Discuss this with him express that you too are at work all day (kids are a handful plus taking care of hubby,housework,etc)
2)Let him know how much you appreciate him..just need a little help
3)Just tell him you want quality time with him, w/kids,etc.."family time"..plan something away from home
4)Quality time w/just hubby (try to get a babysitter if possible)
5)Thank him each time he does do something positive
6) Just let the trash build up till he gets so bothered by it, he will take it out...(I dont know if you would ever get it to the point where there are maggots..UGH!)
Good luck!
2006-07-29 11:54:25 · answer #1 · answered by JC 2 · 10⤊ 2⤋
maybe it wouldn't hurt him to take the trash out but have you asked him why he does not help with the kids? maybe he is afraid he will fall asleep and they will get hurt after all he has to be tired after driving14+ hrs. each day. do you have any family members or close friends who can help out with the kids each day so you can do the house work. don't get me wrong I feel any husband should help in the house but I also realize that driving a truck 14+ hrs every day is no picnic.
2006-07-29 19:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by mama bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like bad early childhood training. But really a person needs winddown time when he or she first get home from work or driving. Keep everyone from him for the first hour ,then he should help with some things. You have a lot of work on your hands too . Then promise him a nice time when the kids are asleep. most men are basically boys in diguise and they need rebooting. If this doesn't work then boot him out. The kids and home are his responisibility too. but try rebooting him first even if you have to act the part .
2006-07-29 18:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by zarandipity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, what we think is irrelevant
its what you two think that matters
if he believes that his hard work to earn money is all the contribution he needs to make, then that is certainly a defensible position
if you think he needs to contribute more in the home, that is a very defensible positition
like anything else, the key is to get past defending positions
tell him you appreciat what he does
tell him you would like him to help in these ways but that you know he is tired and that sometimes he will be too tired
ask him what YOU can do to help him
you can't force him, he can't force you
try to be patient, try to praise, try to be unselfish, it doesn't always work but it is the only thing that does work
2006-07-29 18:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by enginerd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After driving for fourteen hours, you can't really blame him for needing to relax. Realistically, if he sleeps eight hours a night, he has a whole two hours of free time. Maybe you can work out a compromise by getting him to pitch in a little more on his days off.
2006-07-29 18:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I drive truck 10 to 12 hours a day, and yes sometime it can hard work but he can give you a little help now and again.
2006-07-29 18:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by mahs89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a jerk.tell his sorry butt you cant cook dinner for him because you have already prepared dinner for the kids, along with breakfast and lunch. Tell him marriage is a partnership. Taking out the trash is too hard for him? If it is too hard for him to play with the kids, maybe his paying out the butt for alimony and child support will be easier. Good luck
2006-07-29 19:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope let him watch the kids all day one Saturday a month while you get out and away then he will understand...
This is 2006 not 1926 things have changed
2006-07-29 18:43:38 · answer #8 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all, but my question to you is, what is with women and garbage? My girl will top it off like it's the tower of piza before she will do something about it. It's like she (and most women) are allergic to it.
COME ON NOW!
Yeah, he should play with his children, if not then he should look for a better job with a better company or his kids won't know who he is.
2006-07-29 18:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Raiderchef 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like an a$$. let the house work pile up for a few days, see what he thinks then
2006-07-29 18:40:43 · answer #10 · answered by Aunt Mair á?¦ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋