jokes anything goes?

Answer 1

a chicken and an egg were laying in bed the chicken is smiled relaxing with arms behind head smoking a cigarette the egg all pissed off rolls over in bed and says i guess we answered that question

what happened to the pope when he went to mount olive?
Popeye beat the **** out of him

Answer 2

Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"

Answer 3

What do you call 5000 ni**ers in the bottom of the ocean? A good start....


What's the difference between Hitler and a queer? 90 degree angle (with hand)


What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common? Both use Snap-On tools


How many queers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, one would work if you can get him off his knees.....


What is the most confusing day in Harlem? Father's Day

Answer 4

enjoy.

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

Answer 5

Two kids are in Sunday School. A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out.
The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" The boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen.
"God almighty!" yells the girl.
"Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again.
The teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" The boy pokes her with his pen again.
"Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl.
"Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again.
The teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" The boy pokes her with the pen again.
The girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!"
The teacher fainted.

Answer 6

Why do black people put mustard on their Tootsie Rolls?
So they don't bite their fingers.
What is the difference between a bench and a black man?
A bench can support a family.

Answer 7

☻☺☻☺☻☺☻

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

OK☼

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

OK☼

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

☻☺☻☺☻

I was riding in a taxicab this morning and there was a female dispatcher on the two-way radio. She was dispatching the cabs to various addresses and the usual dispatch chatter was going on. Suddenly, the dispatcher asked? ... Michael Hunt, are you out there... Mike? Do you read me? ... Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt... Come in.... Come In... Come in Mike Hunt.

I don't know why this is so funny to me- it was just a cab ride.

I couldn't stop laughing. I think something shot out of my nose!

☻☺☻☺☻

Answer 8

George Bush sits in a diner with Cheney.The waitress asks them if they are ready to order,to which "W" responds "Yes,dear,I will have a quicky."The waitress,upset,silently walks away.At this point,without looking up from his menu,Dick Cheney says"George,it is QUICHE!!"

Answer 9

Why didn't the black guy enjoy the blow up doll?



He has to keep it real.

Answer 10

did you hear about the happy roman he's gladiator get it glad he ate her haha