If a male's mother does not approve of her new daughter in law's pregnancy (yes, her son is the father), never calls to see how she or the baby is doing and plays devil's advocate when her son and daughter in law get into quarrels, is it fair for her to want to visit and offer to help care for the baby when he/she is born? Needless to say the daughter in law is not the least bit thrilled and actually stressing over the idea of her wanting to visit at that time.
2006-07-29 10:50:22 · 9 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know it is not fair at all but isn't that they way it sometimes goes???
Mother-in-laws are a funny breed of people and one day I will and you will become one and until that happens I don't think I will ever understand the way they think and why they do most of the things that they do!!
But she is the baby's grandmother and defiantly don't want to deny the baby that, grandparents are the greatest.... But I do understand!!!
Best thing for the daughter in law to do is calm down, it's not good for the baby, and try and make it through!!
it will be OK but if it does start to get out of hand let the Son handle it.. He needs to make sure that mommy and baby are happy, healthy, and stress free!
Hope this helps!!
2006-07-29 11:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Does your mother live close by to help out when the baby arrives? Or do you have a good friend or relative on your side of the family that you want to help? If so then politely tell your mother in law that you already have someone who is coming to help.
If not then bite the bullet and let your mother in law come to help
If she gets on your nerves you can always ask her to leave saying that her help is no longer needed.
When this baby gets here her attitude will probably change and hopefully yall will get along better. There is nothing like the birth of your grandchild to make you change. ( I'm a grandmother)
All mothers usually take their kids side in an argument so don't stress over that. And who knows after the baby is born she may start taking your side.
I know that I started staying out of my kids arguments after my grandchild was born, partly in fear of not getting to see my grandchild if I pissed them off........LOL
2006-07-29 11:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground. Occasional visits are okay, but don't let her invade your space. Causing you stress will cause the baby stress. Don't let her use the child as an excuse. Make sure your husband sees eye to eye with you too. If he doesn't and goes to his Mommy for help, that is a major problem. You both should be a team together, and agree on what is right and what is wrong.
2006-07-29 10:54:57 · answer #3 · answered by creativefisher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I could have written that question. I was in and out of the hospital with my child, not a single call from mommy in law. But as soon as they were born, she was over every day. Mind you, she never offered to help with anything when she was over.
Talk to the hubby, let him know your concerns. I have always had the opinion of I will deal with my family, he will deal with his. So it's his place to grow up and put his foot down with mommy.
Or do what I do, she doesn't come over here, he goes over there with the baby that way I don't have to deal with her.
2006-07-29 14:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by big momma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest that she be the bigger person, and enable the mother in law to see the baby and just how precious it is, but the instant she says anything compromising cut her off. If she causes negative energy for the mother than it is not good for the baby.
2006-07-29 10:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by bopbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to her son to set her straight and you need to let him know that. She will shut up if he tells her to. After that you can work on building a better relationship with her. She will want to see the baby so that will help.
2006-07-29 10:55:00 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's a competant and able caretaker, then you should probably let her. You may not want her around now, but she could come in handy when you really need someone to take care of the child for you. Best of all, she'll do it for free.
2006-07-29 10:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by extton 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the past behind you. No matter what she is his mother and the babys grandmother. Embrace the relationship and things will go much more smoothly. Being petty and holding grudges will accomplish nothing.
2006-07-29 10:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think yall needs to tell her that she needs to repect u and if she cant repect u then she dont need to b in yall life u need to put ur foot down bc if she like that now then later on it will only get worst my mother in law that way to and i put my feel down and i told her and its not fair to me and my child for her to treat me that way and now she calls every once an a while she kinda repect me but we dont talk much it way
2006-07-29 10:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by sexy_cowgirl8321 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋