Anyone older than 26 been in great relationship but still had abortion because of unplanned pregnancy?

Question

Is an unplanned pregnancy enough? Or what if you could probably handle it, it just messes up your plans. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Thank you to everyone who responded maturely, whatever side of the debate you are on. And to the other picketers out there who are so against abortion, way to try to sway someone your way. Attacking people really works, let me tell ya. So in response to the other mature people, not the attackers because I owe you no explanation, thank you. I have not had an abortion. It was a consideration, as my birth control failed. My boyfriend and I will be engaged by the end of the summer so it is a great relationship, and we are going to be together before and after whatever decision I make, which will probably be to have the baby because after I have calmed down and accepted my position, I do feel that things happen for a reason. I am just scared because I am climbing the corporate ladder, in grad school, and I travel a ton for work. Making ends meet timewise is already difficult. And we're not married yet, I want my wedding that I've dreamed of and want everything to go as planned.

Answer 1

how dare you, jen l. this person did not ask your opinion on how you feel about your right of choice, read the quesion ding-dong. go march around a clinic where the "right to lifers" are shouting and pointing fingers as though they are god, some even take lives of the drs, which is a oxymoron, thats "right to death". thank god we have a choice, since our law "roe vs. wade" was passed in 1972. no woman should use this a birth control. no woman should take the "easy" way out , either (no matter what is chosen, it should be thought out and well planned as for the pregnancy was not, so a lesson should be learned.) yes, we now have a legal choice, without desperation, like seeking out a creep like a criminal for help. to me, it is so hard to understand as to how a pregnancy could "just happen" with all the knowlege and tools in the mainstream for boh men and women at hand. obviously it does happen. choose wisely, think of yourself first, think of what could be in the future and think of your partner. thank the lord for choice in this country. take care, hope you keep in touch. i am behind you no matter what you feel is right for you, and do not let anyone threaten you with "conditional love" on your personal choice.

Answer 2

Yep, got pregnant much against the odds and used RU486 to terminate at 4 weeks. No regrets. Great relationship didn't end up so great...ended just a couple months later. But that doesn't even matter; neither of us wanted to become parents then. Still don't actually. Screw everyone who is answering you by telling you off. You only asked for real women's real experiences, not a bunch of brain-washed pro-lifer crap.

Now honestly, I'm not saying it was easy; there have been times I've wondered how it would have worked out, and it's a little hard when you figure out what the birthdate would have been...I was aware of it each year for about 3 or so after. It can be confusing when your friends have babies. But it felt like the right choice and still does. I think the would-be soul understands what happened from the other side, and I will understand why it all happened much better one day. I don't believe in sin or H E double hockey sticks or any of that stuff; just experiences and choices in life. It's not a good choice for someone who will be tormented by guilt or fear of God and so forth.

Answer 3

I was 19, married and in school when I had an abortion. It was completely unplanned, I was on birth control and everything when it happened. Hubby and I were having a really tough financial time, we were both still in school. The baby was unwanted...completely unwanted at the time, I was not happy to find out I was pregnant. Instead of bringing a child into an unhappy home that would not have been able to provide for him/her, my husband and I decided to have an abortion.

A few years later, after graduating college, having a job and a home and being better off financially, hubby and I were thinking that it was time to begin a family. I now have two adorable children; I was on birthcontrol when I got pregnant with them too. We had our children because we were in a place where we could take care of them, and love them. I'm living proof that sometimes contraceptives don't work. (My mother at 45, got pregnant with her tubes tied!)

I have no regrets. If I were in the same position I'd do everything all over again. And so, I'm pro-choice.

Answer 4

first off... what kind of plans? i'm dying to know how a pregnancy/child would "mess up" whatever you've got going on. not being judgmental, just plain ol' nosey! :)
i've never found myself in this particular situation but i do think some of these people are being a bit hard on you... everyone is entitled to their opinion though, right? anyway, i have thought about issues like this and what my choices would be and i know it's a hard call. i'm 34, i've been happily married 12 years
-together 16- and we have 2 fabulous boys -9 & 5-... but we're SO done having kids! almost 2 years ago we decided hubby would have a vasectomy so that the "scare factor" wouldn't be there for us anymore. now, no matter how careful you are (condoms, all sorts of female BC, surgeries, etc...) things do happen when you least expect them to! if this is a choice you and your partner are making together then more power to you. it is your right. on the other hand, you may want to take a look at whatever type of BC you're using and figure out if something else might be a better choice for you...? hopefully you don't see abortion as a form of BC but just what it is... an option. good luck to ya'...

and nicely said "nyclV" *thumbs up*

Answer 5

No, I have not been in this type of situation, but, I do understand where you are coming from.
I am 29 years old and have been in a relationship for 4 years now. I do not want to have kids, because, that is just me. That is why I get the shot once every three months. Some people think that I should be a mom and he should be a dad because we are a couple.
Let get something straight here. We are a great couple. We just feel that together, we are compatible and fine the way we are, why have a child? We are fine without one. We are not longing for one. Are relationship is fine just the way it is. I am sure you two feel the same way.
So, there is nothing wrong with what you did, but, I suggest now you get on the shot or the new implant that the FDA just approve that is in your arm for three years. That would work out best for you two.

Answer 6

Statistically speaking, most relationships between unmarried people break up within a year after an abortion. See:

http://www.afterabortion.info/PAR/V4/n4/MenandAbortionArticle.htm

(The information can be found about 3/4's of the way through the article.)

To read the stories of women who have aborted, see:

http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

For more information on abortion, see:

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=218&Itemid=40

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

Answer 7

I was 20 with an unplanned pregnancy but i still had the balls to go through with it and i do not regreat my son one bit, now my life makes sense. I would never have an abortion it's not the babys fault u were spreading ur legs, and come on!!! ur 26 !!!!!!! and in a GREAT relationship ??? i think not so great. ur 26 ur not a teenager anymore u have a better idea ( or u should know better) of what this world is about. Don't be a coward, its not the baby's fault besides in a few years u wont know if after ur abortion u can still have kids. so pick up ur balls and dont kill an innocent child.

Answer 8

Please ignore all the idiots posting on this list who seek to admonish you. I was in exactly that situation. I was 27, and finishing my PhD. My partner is the same age and also finishing his. We could probably have kept the child, but we would have been bringing it into a world where neither of us knew what would be around the next corner. We had no stability. So, I had an abortion. Your age has no bearing on whether you're ready to be a parent. It makes no difference if you're 16 or 26. I'm not sorry. It's not murder. Writing in capital letters doesn't make it murder. Yes, it would be a wonderful world if contraception was 100% effective, but it just isn't. Undecided, if you need some friendly support, just post again to this list and I'll send you my email address.

Answer 9

To me there is no such thing as unplanned pregnancy...when you have unprotected sex then you are very well aware of the fact that you can get pregnant.

Having an abortion is MURDER!!!

So since you know what sex can lead to...deal with the consequences. If you cannot handle the consequences then DO NOT HAVE SEX NO MORE until you are mature enough to know better.

Answer 10

no when i had the abortion pill, i was 18 cheated on my boyfriend with his bestfriend got pregnant so who knows whos baby it was. i didnt want to **** up everyones live for my mistake so i aborted the fetus it was 6 weeks old, has no brain there for cant feel anything.
but your 26 thats different , and supposenly you have a great relationship
so what you did or who ever did is much worse