My mother has been married to her husband for ten years. In that time we have never been able to form are own relationship and trust me over that amount of time I have tried everything I could to have some type of connection with him. Now I am married myself and have my own family. My mom is mad at me because I don't want me kids to know her husband as their grandfather. Am I being unreasonable?
2006-07-29 09:18:25 · 9 answers · asked by shiva 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are not being unreasonable at all. you weren't able to achieve the type of relationship you wanted with him, so why would you want your own children to develop relationship with this man that was uncapable of developing a relationship with you. why the heck does your mom care about grandfather status for her husband....she didn't care about the father status with you! tell her she's the one who is unreasonable.
2006-07-29 09:27:15 · answer #1 · answered by gurrrly 3 · 12⤊ 2⤋
You're not being unreasonable, afterall, he is not the kids grandfather. However, if you want yourself and your children to have a relationship with your mother, you need to do whatever it takes to keep the peace between you and her husband, because he is most likely going to be a part of her life for a long time. It may be difficult, but you can be the stronger person. You don't ever want to be the cause of any unhappiness for your children.
2006-07-29 16:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by Debs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think there is more to the story then your telling us here.
If you didn't like him or have bad feeling for him.
Then I would'nt take the kids there either.
You don't have to do what your mother want's any more,you said you are married and have kids of your own now.
Owny you know what the problem is.
If it is some thing bad, then NO way.
You have a life now so live it with your family now, not her's.
In time she will come around to your way of thinking,if not then it will be her loss, not your's,ok.
Good luck.
Take care.
Sharon.
2006-07-29 16:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by sharon t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he earn money for the family? Buy you birthday presents, and share family events,?
If so then I would say he should be grandad, kids need stability and if he acts like a grandad, then he should be one
if he has been unfair to you, excluded you, had an addiction around you, or hurt you, your siblings, or your mum, then don't.
Thats what I think anyway, but don't exclude relationships, just because you never had them. Many biological fathers are better grandfathers, and I would probably say the same for non biolological ones
2006-07-29 16:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by gill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is more of your personal preference. The way I feel about it is if he did you no harm and won't harm your child then it might be okay for him to be "grandpa" as he is married to grandma which IS technically a grandpa. On the othe hand, if he harmed you or can potentially harm your child then you have made a good decision not to allow him to be the "grandpa". When you make your decision think about the future, how will you answer questions from your child(ren) when they are old enough to ask why she's grandma and he's not grandpa.
2006-07-29 16:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Do what you must do. If he is a person you think will hurt your children or influence them in the wrong way than never mind. However if he is a nice person and you are just resentful of him as your mother remarried than you need to look at that. If the guy is a toxic nastyt dude who hurt you or is rotten than forget it.
2006-07-29 16:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Ouros 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not...im just gettin use to my mom having a husband and they've been together for almost 2 years, she remarried the same year my dad pasted away....but instead of trying to make your kids call him something, let them choose...that is what my step-dad has done with all our family..and it seems to work a lot better than forceing them to call him something...my dad was known as paw paw and my step-dad is know as chuck or grandpa smith and one of my nieces actually just call him grandpa.....but tell your mom they are yoru kids and if you dont want them to call him grandpa then they wont they are yoru kids..and if she gets to mad just tell her fine she wont even have to see them, you can just use it as a threat...and the whole trying to be part of her life and have your own realstionship with her i completely understand, its the same way with my mom.
GOOD LUCK and hope i helped
2006-07-29 16:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by taytayjomar89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is a a bad person or do you just have different opinions my children don't see eye to eye with my husband but they Will tell you that he is a hell of a grandpa let you kids decide how they feel about him unless they need to be protected for they're safety or is it your I don't like him he don't like me. believe me you won't like half their friends but that don't make them bad for them. let it happen and if its not safe then step in even if there babies they have a sense of love
2006-07-29 16:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a good guy, then why let the kids suffer, maybe he can be good and instrumental in their lives. If he is not a good guy, then stand by your decision.
2006-07-29 16:38:22 · answer #9 · answered by free2praise76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋