is it rude to ask family members to help pay for our wedding? If not how do you ask? We are tight on our fiances and want to have a nice wedding/family reunion. I just don't want to come out rude.
2006-07-29 07:24:04 · 9 answers · asked by stacydeets 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's rude to ask anyone besides parents to help. But who says you have to break the bank for a one-day event? There are plenty of ways to have a lovely wedding without spending a fortune, just think outside of the $20,000 average wedding cost box.
My niece held hers at a reserved pavilion in the mountains. The wedding itself was in the meadow, she had a group of friends providing live music, and she had lovely but simple flower arrangements for herself and to decorate the pavilion. About the only thing she spent money on was food and drinks, and she only invited family and close friends. It was a beautiful wedding, and she only spent a few hundred dollars.
2006-07-29 07:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not a charity case-- you're trying to throw a wedding celebration, which is an optional thing in life.
If you're getting married, you must be an adult. Adults pay for their own events, unless others VOLUNTEER to help out with the costs.
Draw up a budget based on the money you already DO have to spend, and then if people end up contributing something later in the planning, you can upgrade some aspects of the celebration.
But it's rude to ask others for money at any time, even if they are family.
2006-07-29 16:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is rude to ask family members to help pay for the wedding. So think outside the box. What skills and talents are in your family? I consider it acceptable to ask family members to provide "services" as gifts or just at cost.
My eldest sister got re-married this past spring. She asked our sister (who is beginning her photography business) to do the photos and she asked me (professional singer) to provide the singing for the ceremony and mass. My boyfriend is a DJ and has DJ'ed for friends' weddings as a gift.
Also, get out of the idea of the way it "has to be." Instead of an expensive wedding cake, what about dessert islands or individual cupcakes? Both are cheaper options and things that family can sometimes pull off. If you want to turn the reception into a family reunion, go for a BBQ instead of a sit down dinner.
2006-07-29 08:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your parents?
so many couples want to live together before they are married, in a modern style, but then want to revert to the traditions of family paying for everything.
If you are tight on finances, you need to make the wedding you can afford the wedding you want.
It's about a marriage after all, not a wedding.
2006-07-29 07:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by Love2Sew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the age of the couple getting married and if it is the first wedding for the both. Traditionally in the U.S. the bride's parents pay for the wedding unless the couple has been living together. If they have then they should pay for the wedding, if they can't afford it then they shouldn't get married and probably shouldn't be living together either.
2006-07-29 08:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be very rude to ask family members to help pay for your wedding. It would be appropriate to have a meeting with both sets of parents to see if they wanted to offer anything, but remember they are not obligated. If finances are tight, you have to do it within your budget.
2006-07-30 03:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to ask anyone besides your fiance' and your parents to help pay for your wedding. Family, regardless of how close they are to you, should not be asked to chip in. If, by some crazy notion, this is a custom for you, family should definitely not be expected to both contribute to your expenses and bring gifts. Frankly, you should nix the idea of asking them for money.
2006-07-29 08:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford to pay for your own wedding then you shouldnt be having one, or at least one as big as you may be having. My fiance and i didn't have much money so we had to settle for a small wedding and we were perfectly happy. Its not right to ask for money from anyone, even family. If they don't offer then your out of luck. I didn't even ask my parents for any help, they offered and helped us out a bit, but we never asked or expected it.
2006-07-29 08:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your wedding means you pay for it
2006-07-31 00:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋