having a hard time listening to boyfriend?

Question

Ok I know this is going to sound stupid, my ex boyfriend who wants to get back with me and start a life together says in order to do that i have to respect his rules and wishes i understand about compromise and give and take but why does this sound like a dictatorship to me? one rule is no low shirts he doesn't really like make up and when i "do" where it i am always tasteful about it it sounds like to me he has low self esteem he says no all his ex's cheated on him well so did mine but if this one is gonna do it i am just gone his loss. any woman out there who are dealing or have dealt with it should i just listen to him- do you want low shirts or love? I am also very independant and really have a problem with men tellin me what to do or how to do it. He says i don't love him cause i don't always take his advice. What to do??

Answer 1

You are being told what you can wear and not wear even your make up? Do you need a dad or boyfriend? That is ridiculous.

Answer 2

he shouldn't want to change you before ya'll even get back together. If he can't accept you for everything that you are now, then I say DO NOT get back together with this guy. He is just going to make your life miserable. It sounds as though you are miserable already. this guy DOES have some issues swirling inside him. He should want to fix that before he goes off trying to "fix" you! You don't need this kind of stress in your life. My husband and I married each other knowing each other's differences and all. Even though in the past we seemed unable to compromise, we seem so much more willing to do so now that we are a married couple. I know I am lucky, but before you plunge into a relationship, make sure that the person you wanna plunge with isn't trying to pull a "fix-her-upper" BEFORE anything! He should love you just as you are. Good luck and God bless

Answer 3

You need to steer clear of this guy!! If at the dating stage he is already this controlling then he has alot of things to learn before resuming a relationship. You should not allow yourself to give into selfish demands with him or anyone else, utilize your own identity and self worth. If you remain in a relationship with this guy odds are he will eventually go from controlling to abusive.

Answer 4

Unless You let him know His ideas will be considered but You have a mind of Your own and will decide what you wear and how to live your life. If he wants to share Your life He must respect You as an EQUAL. If you let him take charge your life wil be a real mess.

Answer 5

well,sweetie this is not advice he is just trying to take away your independence.
he is very clear,to have you in his terms.basically he does'nt trust you,he is insecured due to his previous experiences.

trust is the key in every relationship,its the base,the foundation and if he does'nt have that then theres no hope that your relationship will last.he'll keep telling you what to do and will try to look like your fault if you dont listen to him and then the emotional statement that becos you dont love him n blah,blah,blah.....just think about all this before getting committed and before going thru the same thing over and again!!

Answer 6

If he wants a dictatorship, let him get a real subject to boss around. You could turn his argument back on him. If he really loved you he would let you be the kind of person you want to be.

Answer 7

i think of I comprehend what you're asserting Cats Hazing. there's a touch intensity, as a result why you pass around the bend on your remark. I do this sometime, and that i additionally get instructed off for it. i want to renowned an identical ingredient. I as quickly as heard, alongside the lines of, 'women do no longer want a guy to repair their issues, they want a guy to hearken to with out offering to repair, or regardless of out interrupting together with his opinion'. possibly gimpalomg is merely about precise in a number of that remark. i'm at present making greater a concentration on listening. i want to stay at listening' that's substantial for any gender to do, to be solid at. I do ask your self too; why is listening so key and substantial? possibly that's, through fact it makes the different guy or woman sense valued, like they might desire to calrify to be certain that somebody to instruct that they are paying interest through fact they did no longer comprehend nicely the 1st time. My accepted quote on the 2nd, that would help is: 'I instruct and that they run away. I hear and that they arrive. My power is my silence.' possibly listening is a million/2 way sensible, yet customarily sentimental. P.S. i want to hearken to females, and that i advise i want to need to...i.e i do no longer want to instruct off or zone out plenty. And specific, sometime, i want to sense listened to greater additionally... possibly that's the main to listening...feeling listened to. What are your ideas?

Answer 8

He sounds like a control freak. I dont think you will be happy in a relationship as he will always be paranoid. In a relationship, there has to be trust and respect, apparently he has none of that for you. Think twice before you accept him.

Answer 9

Try to remember that there's a reason he's an ex.

He also shows the classic signs of a controller and abuser. Steer clear of this one.

Answer 10

I haven't even read your entire question, but by the first few lines it is VERY clear to me that your boyfriend is "controlling". This is abusive. DO NOT get back with him. Sorry, this is bad news all the way around.