Why the loose morals and lack of self respect?

Question

It would seem a given in our present culture, to play 'fast and loose' when casually dating, but then end up broken hearted when the outcome is only sexual usury.
My question is, why would anyone believe there is a chance for a long-term relationship with someone who is clearly an 'anybodies'?
Why would someone wish to wed a person who passes themselves around like a dog in heat? When has intimacy become nothing more than recreation between strangers?

I am not standing in judgement, nor have I engaged in such things. I am asking the question to gauge the moral values of the majority.

I wish to thank all who have answered my question, as you have given me the broad range of responses needed to complete my sociology paper. I could not state this purpose beforehand, risking biased responses.
Again, thank you.
~cheekandfolly

Answer 1

It's the society we live in. Debauchery is rampant and sex and loose conduct is looked upon as cool and somewhat acceptable. If you have morals and self respect then you are a prude.

The bible foretold that in the last days the world would go from bad to worse. Makes you wonder how much worse it can get.

Answer 2

I have learned to realize that sex has become just a recreation between strangers. I tend to turn towards males when I am hurt, mad or if i want to enjoy myself, mostly hurt. Everytime I do that I anticipate something more than their company, maybe someone else to care about me and my accomplishments, my own gradifacation doesnt seem to be enough. I tend to become physically attracted to them and walk away with a little less self-respect or confidence about myself. I know I shouldnt act on my physical desires but should learn to completely get to know them, but for some reason every time i end up, just wanted to be held or get a simple hug, just some one to hold me tightly so i can feel safe and secure about everything will be ok. But guys see that as she's flirting and how can i get into her pants. Unfortunately I get destracted and forget the purpose of why i went to them and come out hurt and treated like another notch on the bed post. That's when people need to stick to their guns and what their expectations, and not settle for nothing less. That's the hard part tho, there's such a fine line between sticking to your guns and shutting yourself off from everyone from hurting, I personally need to learn how to balance on that thin line rather than falling on one side or the other.

Answer 3

You are describing a subjective judgement. Some people who declare love are comfortable in a non exclusive relationship. Others are not. A person who you cannot trust is not suitable in a long term relationship.

Reading between the lines you suspect your gf of shagging someone/ many.
. You are jealous. You are angry.
Your beliefs are based on a double standard. You would applaud the actions of a male friend in shagging around. The only reason that you have written this queation is that you are consumed with sexual jealousy.
Reacreational sex was, is and will always be part of the human condition

Answer 4

Man by nature does not practice monogamy. Women in early history were passed around to assure conception to quickly populate the villages. This is because even then they saw the benefit of safety in numbers and everyone wanted to be the bigger and stronger tribe. Religion introduced monogamy and morality. It was formed to control man's sexual desires and instill fear into men to keep crime to a minimal level. People feared God and those who proffessed to be his spokespeople. Does it surprise you that in a world where religious institutions are crumbling, and anti religious groups are increasing in number that the morals of man are regressing back to it's natural roots?
People today are so used to everyone that they meet having an extensive sexual history that they've become desensitized to it. It really doesn't bother them because it's become the norm. Realistically...it would be pretty hard to be in a relationship today with someone who hasn't slept around. Where would you find someone who's still a virgin, or has only been with one or two people today? You've got kids as young as 12 that have had multiple sex partners. It's a whole new world out there today. Sex HAS become more recreational than intimate because of the way it's portrayed in the movies and on television, and of course through the most powerful of all...the music. Just listen to some of the lyrics of these songs.
Sex has become the drug of choice in todays society. It's powerful, intoxicating, and always available. What really bothers me most is the people who just think it's a cool thing to do...especially the whole I'm BI thing with the girls. It's like it's the new fad to say your BI even if your not. I'll bet my life on it that 75% of the girls who claim to be BI have never, and would never have sex with another girl. As for the guys...most still find it hard to admit if they really are, never mind pretending to be. So why would anyone chance a long term relationship or marriage? What other choices are they being given? Good luck to anyone seeking one of pure virtues...they're like a needle in a hatstack.

Answer 5

"Water find its own level."- By this, I mean that some people( men and women) are simply out to satify their sexual lust and not looking for a relationship.Secondly, some people are into head games; women use sex to get love and men vise versa. Thirdly, not everyone( incl. myself) believes in marriage and it suffices that they are in a positive relationship and when in such a relationship, intimacy is a natural progression.

The behaviours you have described cannot be attributed to everybody; some people abstain from sex, the religious types attempt to keep until after they are wed. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are looking for something different then to paraphraase Oprah maybe you are fishing in the wrong lakes or using the wrong baits and should consider a different approach.

Answer 6

I'm quite surprised that people think this is a recent thing - look at history and you'll find it isn't. It's also not just the Western culture either.

Why are you so negative? Most of my friends are in long-term monagomous relationships, if not married, and none of us have ever been the sort to sleep with just anyone - I know far many more people like this than people who sleep with just about anybody who asks. There will always be some people who do do that, but my personal view is that it's their business. Live and let live in my opinion.

Answer 7

I cannot personally say whether or not you are going to save society, surely if society is to be saved it will be by someone such as yourself that is not solely centered on themselves! Morality is a choice, just like any other choice one makes in life. What do people value in a relationship, what do they value in themselves, these questions must be answered in order to answer your question. My respect for myself and for others would not allow me to become involved in any situation that compromises my values such as recreational sex with a stranger or "next to" stranger . Although I don't impose my values on other people i don't see whats wrong with putting my ideas out there for others to contemplate, who knows, the world changes every day!

Answer 8

Hmmmm. You're speaking from your perspective? Or are you making assumptions about people?

Either way, this sounds like transference to me. Either you feel guilty about the behavior you've exhibited in past relationships, or you feel guity for being attracted to women who act this way.

Rest assured, not everyone is so casual with their sexuality or relationships.

Instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, focus on yourself. You're not going to save society, and you're not going to stop people from doing what they do. Humans are illogical and irrational, and it was ever such. If casual sex bothers you, stop having it. If other peoples' casual sex bothers you, you're spending too much time worrying about others' lives when you should be focused on your own.

Answer 9

You cannot judge the 21st century society under the values and principles of the 19th century. "Loose morals" doesn't mean anything I would know, and self respect has nothing whatsoever to do with who you go to bed with. Those standards are good in church, not in real life.

Answer 10

I on no account concept it became an excellent deal the two. i think of each and every time could be sure and the 1st time does not would desire to be sure. Who cares? i think of this is in basic terms a throw decrease back to a diverse time. i've got on no account concept it became "giving" something to absolutely everyone. once I have interaction in any style of sexual events with somebody, many times it skill something (many times), so why placed penetration on some pedestal over everthing else? i think of an mind-blowing form of the individuals who sense it is so specific check out the romance and love element of intercourse in basic terms. I see that, yet I additionally see the i like to have intercourse element of intercourse. If intercourse have been in basic terms a love ingredient, i could have considered my "virginity" as something specific. I merely think of that each and each single time ought to (or possibly no longer) be an exceedingly specific time. Why shrink your self to in basic terms one?! Hell, by then, i did no longer actually have a hyman - i became a gymnast, very complication-unfastened to tear it in activities.

Answer 11

most ppl now dont like the idea if intimacy & closeness wiv anotha person bcuz it makes them vulnerable so insted they decide 2 hav sex wiv whoeva they want wen they want. It means they dont eva hav 2 talk bout their feelings, meet parents/family & hav rows which cud lead 2 heartbreak insted they r havin fun & enjoyin the pleasure from a relationship wivout ne of the messy bits!!!