what should I do about my mother?

Question

ok, my mother doesn't like the way i am living my life and is trying to change it by trying to shove her standards down my throat. what should I do?

i am 15 and live with my father. she doesnt like my standards, my older siste and i think she is about to disown my other sister also. she is a controlling person and likes everything her way or we can "GO LIVE WITH YOUR FATHER!"

Answer 1

talk to her patiently. if she doesn't listen to you, get someone like your aunt who understands you to help you out. you should also try to understand and see why she does not like the way you are living your life and if possible seek a compromise with her. good luck! :)

Answer 2

I'd advise you to arrange a "date" with your mom in a more formal location - e.g. a restaurant. This will show your mom that you take the discussion seriously and value her time and presence. Furthermore this will ensure that you both have the incentive to keep calm even when you have opposing views thus possibly steer towards heated discussion.

During your "date" try to understand exactly which aspects (need to be specific) of your life your mom is unhappy with, why she's trying to change it, and what the rationale is for her thinking that your way is not the best way.

Then ask your mom to grant you the same opportunity to explain why you are living your life the way you are doing without interruption and why you think there is nothing (?) wrong with it. Try to address the specific aspects that your mom has raised.

You will need to reach some sort of a compromise on all these aspects with your mom. This will require some give-and-take, so don't expect everything to go exactly your way - neither should your mom expect you to completely go her way.

One key point you need to demonstrate is that you have the INSIGHT and MATURITY to lead your life your way and that you understand the consequences of your actions.

And be understanding towards your mom - whatever she's doing she does out of a mom's love for her child.

Hope this helps : )

Answer 3

This all depends on your age and if you live with her.

If you are a grown woman and you live with her move out and create distance. Perhaps you could discuss what she is doing to you before you move out.

If you are a grown woman and don't live with her. Talk to her about it but live your life and control how much she is exposed to yours.

If you are a minor, count the years before you are able to leave. You are at an age where it's all about you and anything contrary to that is means for combat for you. When you grow up and mature you will see that mom was just trying to do the best with what she has. It is difficult to parent. You want what's best for your kids based on all that you know about the world and what you've been through. As a teen you want what's "best" based on what you see on TV or compare with other friends. A lousy and limited view of real life.

Respect her it will be over before you know it. Life will smack you upside your head and you'll wish you were back with her.

Answer 4

Having been where your mother is I think shes probably only trying to protect you from all the evil that there is out in the grownup world everyone is so eager to get to. Life is an up hill climb and never gets any easier but you keep going. My daughter now says she see what I was trying to tell her was something she'd wished she'd listened to three kids later. Just try and understand she only wants you to have a good future....

Answer 5

if you are under 18, maybe you should just talk to her. If you are an adult, move away from her. My mom is the same way. I already have children of my own, one is in college, the other starting high school this fall. My mom still treats me like a child and gets mad if I don't do things her way. Talking to her does not help. When someone is very controlling, they won't change.

Answer 6

You way not want to here this, But I'm a mother too.
I'm sure she is just concerned, is all, and she feels she should say whats right to let you know she cares. Just listen and learn it might be valuble for you. Rather you use it or not. But please consider one thing. She may know more than you realize. So be paitent and let her say what's on her mind. After she leaves rethink what she said, .then apply what may work for you. Even if it is only a small part of what she said. Remember this! Mothers know best. She just loves you thats all.

good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 7

This happens to all of us at one time or another and at the end we become as they are. Just follow the good standards. You won't regret it. Remember someday you will have the same responsibilities with your own children and they will surely ask themselves the same questions you are asking yourself now.
You can follow your own standards, if they don't mess up you life.

Answer 8

Well, that's rather general. Perhaps she is right to want you to change your lifestyle. It completely depends on why she wants you to change it. If you're living an immoral life, you should listen to your mother. If she's encouraging you to live an immoral life, then do what God tells you is right and ignore her.

Answer 9

Tell her to back off and leave you alone. It is your life, after all.

But then try to find a subject that's not sore, and try to see if you can keep up your relationship with her. If you can't, you don't have to take her trying to change you. Give her an ultimatum: leave you alone about your lifestyle, or lose all contact with you. If she loves you, she'll be quiet.

Answer 10

It depends on your age. If she is supporting you, then she has more rights to your throat.....but if you are supporting yourself...no she can say what she wants but you don't have to respond. Be respectful though. She is your Mother and gave up hours and years for your welfare.

Answer 11

you're still living with, and freeloading off of, your mother. Guess what, she gets to tell you what you can and can't do. Either get over it, or get emancipated and see where your lifestyle will get you. hint: its probably not a good place.

Maybe you should try being grateful?