I found out today that the person I have been best friends with and not so secretely in love with has been going out with someone for a week. I know why she didn't tell me as she knows i still care about her alot, but it really hurt having to find the way I did.. (i mean, a week!!) what makes things really complicated is that we work together often (play in a string quartet) and will be going away for a year next year with this group. I am trying to be as proffesional as possible about it, but it's really difficult.. she knows that this guy is just a "well, he's here for a few months, let's make something happen" kind of guy. I started smoking again because of this (i did get a sick satisfaction asking her for a ciggie after i found out... she obliged with a facial expression of "oh crap, what have i done?") Not only am i heartbroken, but i'm losing my best friend... what do i do?
2006-07-29 06:13:27 · 9 answers · asked by The Cowfather 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she has done nothing. You started smoking to spite her? Wow, that's ridiculous. But as far as the feelings you have for her, I know it really sucks to really like, or love someone that doesn't love you back. Either you need to keep the friendship, let her realize on her own that the guy she's dating is probably just using her, and be there for her and hope she reciprocates, or move on and get over it. It will take time to realize yourself she doesn't love you, or like you the way you do, and if you persist, she might get upset and dissolve the friendship. The pain of someone not loving you is real. It hurts and feels like the world is suffocating you and there is no end. but there is, as always, things dissolve and life goes on. If you need to make a point of this, tell her just how you feel, and see what you two together can do to come to a resolution that you both can agree on. Meet her half way. As for losing your best friend, that is your choice to let that happen. Hope you get the girl...I always root for the underdog in romance situations, but we don't always get what we want. You can try sometimes, but you just might find, you get what you need.
2006-07-29 06:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by jkcmr2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, a week is not a long time. She probably didn't know how to bring it up to you and maybe she doesn't really think it's going to last with this guy anyway. She didn't want to have to hurt you or deal with your hurt feelings.
I think you need to face the facts that she is just a friend and that's all it will ever be. Open your eyes and your heart. There is a woman out there for you but you won't see her if you're constantly looking at your friend.
2006-07-29 06:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you losing a friend? i thought the whole idea of being friends with someone was to be supportive and care about the friend. if you care about her so much then you have to let her do what she needs to do. if she wants to be with this guy for a little while (or forever) all you can do is be supportive of her. if you fall and grovel all over her you will surely drive her away.
2006-07-29 06:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by swanseaemtgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how this feels. one of my guy best friends that i had a crush on, and he knows that i do, and we have acted on it a few times, went out on a date with another woman a few days ago. its just something that you have to accept and move on if you want to keep your friendship. if she knew you had a crush on her, that could be why she didnt tell u she was dating someone else. she was trying not to hurt you. but if you remain friends with her, you cannot expect her to put her life on hold because you have feelings for her, and she does not have the same for you.
2006-07-29 06:51:48 · answer #4 · answered by kantriella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay professional and adult, continue to treat as a good friend. Hide the pain and don't smoke for sympathy, you won't get any.
2006-07-29 06:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it find someone else you missed out
2006-07-29 06:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by ttbird117 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just accept what has happend. that's it. that's the way to not losing your bestfriend
2006-07-29 06:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by Honey Gee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man up and get the (#&% over it.
2006-07-29 06:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by RacerX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant be firend any more
2006-07-29 06:18:27 · answer #9 · answered by ruby k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋