My older son bullies his brother all the time! (both are adopted) Help?

Question

My older son was adopted at 3 and is now 13. His younger brother, also adopted, is 9 and gets verbally and emotionally "put down" constantly. It is destroying the atmosphere of the home. I've read tons of parenting books and sought lots of advice and still haven't figured it out. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

u need 2 have a serios talk with him and if that dont work pull out the belt and take action but not to hard becuz i am 13 and two younger siblings and I dont bully them they are11, and 5

Answer 2

Forget the touchy feely self help books. Put your foot down HARD - Make sure older son knows that, while he may feel power by bullying his brother, You are the alpha dog in the house. Once you do this STICK WITH IT! You can;t do it once and expect it to work. You have wimped out before, and he will expect you to do it again. Set the limits and enforce the zero tolerance - no matter what he says or does to get you to think he just forgot, or didn't mean it, or whatever. The words "Just Kidding" don't change the behavior.

Answer 3

The adoption is irrelevant.
Punish every offense you see either of them doing, but don't give punishment to the older one solely on the younger one's testimony.
And make sure the younger one has a place to go in the house that the older one is not allowed to enter without his permission.

Answer 4

Talk to #1 son and say from now on there is Zero tolerance of this behavior. Tell him what the punishment will be and strictly enforce it. Do the same for #2, if he puts down his brother. Try to spend equal amounts of time on each child.

Answer 5

Put both children down and have a talk ask each other what going on between them listen to each one of them to what they have to say after that they both tell's you why they don't get along ask them you don't like what going on between the two ask them how you can help them solve the problem they will tell you,when they do help them solve the problem also make sure you let them know that neither one is going any where so they better start getting along.

Answer 6

Well the 9 year old will eventually get tired of getting bullie as they began to get a lil older the tables usually turn.

Answer 7

just talk to both of them,show them that they are equally teated and teat them according to their age.you just need to follow the flow today's children.your older is alredy a teenager and need to be understand more because of peer pressure on his surrounding specially outside your home.try to talk to him or his friends,teacher if he also experiencing being bullied.
but if you talk to your older son that what he's doing is wrong,just make sure that you really know what his problem and that the younger doesn't see your confrontation to his older.
you said that both of them adopted,maybe it's not in the way you raise them,it's in their genes that they act like bullies or other bad attitude.
just keep in mind that talking to them and letting them feel that they can really trust in you,you can have a good relationship with your both son.even if they are adopted.

Answer 8

Older syblings do that all the time, It's just what they do. Just disipline the older child and he'll stop bullying his younger brother for the most part. There's no way to completely stop it.

Answer 9

Send him to military school or a tough camp like Outward Bound or boot camp. Tell him that you will not tolerate such behavior. He is scarring your younger son -- possibly permanently.

Answer 10

Whip his butt and show him who's the boss in your house and what you will and will not tolerate. People can only learn so much from a book.