(tell me what u think of it ...)
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he asks.
"I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he is dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says,
"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.
''You ba$tard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"
2006-07-29 03:25:53 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
10 that was funny what about this one♥
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think...
I could stay the night?
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep,
he hears a strange sound. The next morning,
he asks the monks what the sound was,
but they say, We can't tell you.
You're not a monk.
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway
and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down
in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him,
even fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange noise
that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is,
but the monks reply, We can't tell you.
You're not a monk.
The man says, All right, all right.
I'm dying to know. If the only way
I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk,
how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, You must travel the earth
and tell us how many blades of grass there are
and the exact number of sand pebbles.
When you find these numbers,
you will become a monk.
The man sets about his task.
Some forty-five years later,
he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.
He says, I have traveled the earth
and have found what you have asked for.
There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass
and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply, Congratulations.
You are now a monk. We shall now show you
the way to the sound.
The monks lead the man to a wooden door,
where the head monk says,
The sound is right behind that door.
The man reaches for the knob,
but the door is locked. He says, Real funny.
May I have the key?
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it,
only to find a door made of ruby.
He demands another key from the monks,
who provide it. Behind that door is another
door, this one made of sapphire.
So it went until the man had gone through
doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say,
This is the last key to the last door.
The man is relieved to no end.
He unlocks the door,
turns the knob,
and behind that door
he is amazed to find
the source of that strange sound is...
But I can't tell you what it is because
you're not a monk.
2006-07-29 03:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥KaTeLyN♥ Geaux Tigers 4 · 13⤊ 2⤋
1
2016-03-16 08:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea its good for a laugh I'd rate it a 5
2006-07-29 06:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by Adam B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard it before. I give it a 7 out of 10. it's good, but not the best joke ever.
2006-07-29 06:11:36 · answer #4 · answered by saxophonegamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reasonable I suppose it's similar to the funny duck song joke someone put on youtube
2015-04-27 13:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by new_bumble_bee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying the Right Thing…
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies,
"Oh, THAT… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud - $3.00
Two Aspirins - $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time ...Priceless
2006-07-29 03:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Bingo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is awsome. 8 out of 10.
2006-07-29 03:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by wandererthelost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehehe 2 funny,would give 10
2006-07-29 03:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by none 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its funny but not laugh out loud funny.but still,good joke!
2006-07-29 06:17:42 · answer #9 · answered by rubydogsgreen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from 1-10.. I'd give it a 4
2006-07-29 03:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by TP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋