How to prevent smoking without herting his feelings?

Question

I'm 29.I have 2 kids - a son(9) and a daughter(4).My son smokes at home while I'm at work (the children are usually alone in the house,because I'm working all day and I can't stay with them and I don't know who their fathers are).My son smokes and I want to convince him that smoking is bad.How could I do this without herting his feelings?He is buying cigarettes and smokes in front of his sister and she sometimes asks him to try,but he hasn't allowed her to smoke till now.

Answer 1

can't be real.
9 year olds do what there parents tell them to.
If I had a 9 year old and cought them with even a lighter or match, he or she wouldn't sit right for a year. If i cought them smoking at 9 it would be like that movie " Hostel " all over again
Your the parent you run things not them.

Answer 2

I smoke and there are worse things in the world, but 9 is way too young to be smoking. Tell him that it's not cool -- when I was 9 I recall that most of the other little kids were really against smoking as was I. It's also a crime to buy cigarettes when you're under 18, so if he gets caught he could face criminal penalties -- and it wouldn't be that difficult to catch him seeing as that a 9 year old can't pretend to be 18.

I do have doubts about whether its really possible for him to purchase cigarettes at just 9 years old -- could it be that you have cigarettes in your house and he's getting into your stash? In that case, I'd recommend putting your cigarettes in a locked cabinet.

I started when I was 15. Tell him that he's too young -- you can even have him google smoking -- there are tons of anti-smoking websites aimed at kids. Maybe tell him that in 6 or 7 years, when he's old enough to drive and is ready to assume some independence then he can make a decision about smoking, but not at 9.

Answer 3

I have a REALLY hard time believing that this is real and I really hope that it's not! Your son is 9 and smokes AND you're leaving him and his 4-yr. old sister alone while you work?? Social Services needs to be called IMMEDIATELY! That's called NEGLECT!
No one I know would sell a 9-yr. old cigarettes. How in the world does he have money for cigarettes anyway and how does he get to the store to buy them? The more and more I waste my time actually answering this question, the more I'm convinced you're an idiot getting off on making up a stupid (and sad) story. If this is by chance true, get off the Internet, wise up, take the cigarettes away, get some childcare, and start paying attention to your kids!!

Answer 4

smoking at 9, seriously 9. ok well then you should not be concerned with hurting his feelings, you are the parent and it is your job to parent not be your son's friend. God only knows what else he does, who in the hell is buying him cigs??? What are you gonna do when someone turns you in to child protective services for child abuse. Because that is what is going to happen if you don't step in and use some disipline. He may hate you now for it but I bet he won't when he's still alive at 20 because he stopped smoking at 9. Is a 9 year old even old enough to be watching a 4 year old when you aren't home, not if he lets her smoke to. You need to get your act together man, seriously!

Answer 5

If you give him an allowance-stop giving it to him- your the parent He's 9- be a parent- just tell him no- if you catch him- smack him-geez - he not even a teen and he's walkingall over you-. He has to be getting the smokes from somewhere- friends- well to bad- guess what-just because your not there doesn't mean a neighbour can keep their eyes open- so fine- he has to get new friends,ground him show him pictures- buy him patches or by him the gum- he's addicted now. he's gonna do anything a smoker fixing for nicotine- even stealing money from you- smokin butts from somebody else- he's 9- a kid regardless his feelings will be hurt-

Answer 6

Don't worry about hurting his feelings. He's 9. He is far too young to be smoking. He lives in your household, and you as a parent can set the rules to protect him. If his feelings are hurt, he can get a job, move out, and support himself and his smoking. If you explain to him that you are concerned for his health, and that you don't want his sister and yourself breathing the second hand smoke, even if he is upset he will know that you are doing it as a parent should, not simply to be mean.

Answer 7

Let me get this straight, you have a 9-year-old son who is smoking and you are more concerned about hurting his feelings than him smoking at 9!!!! Are you high?

Grow up, take control of this child, or you will be in for a much worse hell when he is older.

Answer 8

How is he buying them? is he stealing them? Hurt his feelings... it is ok to to do that. You might want to think about day care. I know it is expensive, but you might only need 1 month of it. Simply tell him that since you cannot trust him at home, you need find a babysitter.. and if he has money to buy them.. take allowance away.. and you have 2 kids and do not know who their fathers are? as in they have 2 different fathers? Sorry my friend, but you need to work on more than just his smoking.

Answer 9

Just were is he getting smokes at the age of 9 and why is he watching a 4yr old by himself? I have a 9yr old and i never leave him at home alone while i work. You can get your kids taken off of you for that. I would find out where he is buying them and tell them are you dumb why are you selling smokes to a 9yr old. Thats illegal.

Answer 10

lay down the law. hes only 9! woah thats a young age but thats almost a good thing because get him off when hes young. you have about 4 yrs to do that because then comes teen yrs. i've almost been tempted to smoke but i know how my grandma died. smoking. my dad is a doctor and he has soo many patients that smoke. actually this one womans skin is yellow because of smoking. an tell your son when he starts kissing girls they wont like him because of the smell. many kids i knew well their parents smoked so they smelled like smoke well guess who they always were OUTCASTS because they smelled really bad. if laying down the law wont help then make fun of him basically. he will be hurt and realize that kids could make fun of him too.