My boyfriend of four years recently left me for another woman. I have no idea who she is, and he broke up with me via a TEXT MESSAGE. Most of the time he ignores my calls, but the two times he didn't, he says he still loves me, but he doesn't want to be with me right now. This is obviously crap, since he has a new girlfriend. Even if I recognize that it's crap, how do I get over it? I think about this ALL THE TIME. My heart literally hurts. There aren't a lot of men in my small town and guys aren't exactly falling over each other for a chance to date me, so it's not like I can move on with a new one any time soon.
I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'd give anything just to be able to hibernate until this is all over. And as pathetic as it sounds, I know I'd come back to him as soon as he said the word, no matter how badly he's treated me.
I want to stop feeling like this--I've got better things to do, like graduate in two weeks! How do you do it? I'm going crazy.
2006-07-29 03:16:20 · 15 answers · asked by Casey 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What a jerk! It sounds like you have gotten no closure from the relationship which makes it difficult to get over.
I would get through the movies on the couch/chocolate binge and start dating. Don't try to find someone just date to get your mind off things. It will build up your confidance and if nothing else, make the ex jealous.
Stop trying to call him for a while. Give it a few weeks, calm down and then call and suggest meeting some place to talk. Coffee is a great neutral place. This way you can find out why he left and hopefully get the closure you need to move on. OR He could be jealous of the other guys and decide that he is sorry he ended the relationship. It is a win win relationship for you.
...and who knows, while you are just hanging out with guys, you might stumble into someone great.
2006-07-29 03:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by bluechick 5 · 11⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry and know how painful it is when someone hurts you and you love them. It will always hurt and it would be wonderful to go to sleep and find the hurt gone when you wake, but it's not going to happen.
You didn't say if you're graduating college or high school, so I'll assume it's high school. Do you have any plans for your future that don't include him? If not, think of all the possibilities, you are free to leave and go to college, or find a job and learn to live on your own.
If he does come back and you resume your relationship, what do you think he'll do next time he's bored? If you make a real life without him, he may not come back, but at least he'll respect you, and most important you'll value the special person you are.
2006-07-29 03:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break ups are hard, there's no one way to geet over it. The fact of the matter is, you have to get your mind off of him. I started a few hobbies after a particularly bad break up. I went jogging, and took up painting. Painting is still a way to relieve stress that I have to this day. I'm not very good at it, but it feels good to do it. You need to find the things in life that you love, something that inspires you, and go from there. This is hard, it's going to be really tough, but you can do it. Whatever you do, realize that you have some worth, and you don't need him to take you back. If he left you for someone else, it's not worth it. Focus on you, guys can wait.
2006-07-29 03:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by outlandsishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. But it does get better. "Time heals all wounds" and in this case "Time wounds all heels." You are experiencing one of life's biggest upsets. Give yourself some time, keep some funny movies around, along with kleenex and some chocolate. De boyfriend the house, put his pictures away along with souvenirs and mementos. Take his number off speed dial and erase his e-mail address. And then get busy, volunteer, finish your schooling do anything to keep you outside of your own head. And this to shall pass. May look like there is no one but there is someone very special getting ready to meet you and you are getting ready to meet him. You won't be able to see him though, until you get rid of the tears. It's all a part of life and everyone has had their heart broken. You can and will recover, just get busy and stay busy and you'll be feeling better in no time. Peace.
2006-07-29 03:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not crazy! Some people say it takes about a month per year, others say longer. I still miss some women I dated 25 years ago, not like the first couple of months, but from time to time I think about them.
It is a grieving process, and then you will move on! Stay busy, be with your other friends, try to have some fun!
2006-07-29 03:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...sorry to hear you got hurt like that! As difficult as it is right now, you will get through this...one day at a time, and sometimes one moment at a time...but you will heal. Hook up with friends and go out...enjoy being with them. You never know when you will meet someone new. Obviously he didn't care about you much, and was a coward to drop you like that, and myself I wouldn't shed a tear for someone like that! I would dust myself off so to speak...give myself a complete make-over, and hold myself up tall and proud, you have a lot of good qualities someone will only be too happy to be with. Congratulations, on your Graduation by the way...you obviously have insight towards your future, and you are in control of your success, therefore, bravo...you didn't quit...you've accomplished graduation with hard work, no one can take that away from you...be proud of yourself! It's something worth celebrating, therefore hook up with great people, and have a blast, you earned it! You have a great future to look forward to so focus on your new challenges and work towards them. Anything or anyone negative will not help you, it just hinders you. Therefore change your thinking, believe in yourself and smile at what you've accomplished so far, and what you hope to succeed at in your future. Hope that helps some...good luck to you, wishing you strength and courage!
2006-07-29 03:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the saying goes.........".If you love someone you gotta let them go , and if they never return they were never yours to begin with" just for what i've read, he cheated on you while ya'll were dating........do you really want to be with someone for the rest of your life that will cheat on you and treat you badly......No woman wants that........of course he still loves you, he'll always hold a place in heart for you, just like you will for him, but its time to let him go, get a hobby, concentrate on graduating, graduation trip, thing you know that will keep your mind off of it, plus don't be in such a rush to get a new bf, stop looking and the perfect man will find you..........i know, when i met my husband i wasn't looking for anything serious or even marriage at that......and one day.......there is he was, and i was in a 3 yrs relationship with someone and had just recently broken up with him , when my hubby came along......we've been married for 12yrs now....., you gotta let the guy go, cuz he's already cheated on you once, do you really want him to do it again and break your heart all over again............GL with it...........
2006-07-29 03:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by SexeyMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your upcoming graduation!!! That's what you focus on and begin to think about your new journey in life after graduation.
If this person (no he's not a man) did not have enough dignity to inform you of the break up personally, take my word for it, he does not deserve you.
Begin on your future and when you least expect it, WHAM someone will walk into your life and your new chapter will begin. Stop focusing on the past because you have a wonderful future. Take care!
2006-07-29 03:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by Matured One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life is too short to waste on someone who has treated you like dirt in the past.Let go of him and move on,time will heal the wound,if you let it.Just because men are not lining up at your door,doesn't mean you won't find someone else,and what would you do if they were lined up?you canonly give yourself to one person at a time.Stop being afraid of being alone,and before you know it,you won't be.
2006-07-29 03:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by kents411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a remarried mom with a 15 year previous daughter and a 10 twelve months previous autistic son. I truly have not had this difficulty with my daughter. while my son gets offended with me he does not hit me yet will extremely hit my husband or daughter. (through fact he's conscious that hurts me greater) ought to I advise that the genuine difficulty your daughter has won't be with your boyfriend, yet extremely with you? She is merely hateful to him as the thank you to get decrease back at you in my view. if that's the case it won't remember who you date she'll nonetheless have an identical situation. i think of the two considered one of you may desire to verify your matters with one yet another and go away the adverse fella out of it.
2016-10-01 05:38:37 · answer #10 · answered by Erika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋